Valentine’s Day is coming up! Before you get all gushy (or grumpy) on me, let me remind you that regardless of how you feel about this holiday, it’s important to remember what it’s really about. Valentine’s Day is a consumer holiday, so whether you’re in a relationship, scared shitless to DTR or single AF, nobody else wants to hear about your feelings. They just want you to buy stuff. The great news is that if done properly, like every other gift-giving holiday, Valentine’s Day is a fantastic chance to make the day all about you and buy yourself some awesome lingerie that you don’t actually need. Here are some pieces you should buy and hopefully not ruin in the dryer before the end of March.
1. Hanky Panky Peekabo Lace Bralette
This isn’t really Valentine’s Day lingerie, but if you refuse to wear anything with a shitton of padding, rhinestones, or anything else reminiscent of the Victoria’s Secret Bombshell bra you bought sophomore year of high school, it’ll do the trick. I’m actually obsessed with this bralette because it’s a simple step up from a regular one that you might wear on a daily basis. If you want to use this bralette as one half of a risqué set, Hanky Panky has a ton of “open gusset panties” options to pair it with. Just like, do us all a favor and please never actually utter the words “open gusset panties” IRL.
2. Free People Slow Dance Underwire Bra (And Undies)
If you can get past the fact that this bra and undie set looks like the Valentine cards you made for your friends and taped to a fun size Hershey’s Krackel in second grade, it’s actually pretty cute. The bralette has a subtle underwire so you can have some support without feeling like a fraud. Plus, the racerback detail is always handy to wear with actual clothes. Just be careful with removal, because although front-clasp bras are always touted as being convenient, the truth of the matter is that it just makes it way easier to get trapped in your own bra because you have to slide it off in the most unnatural way ever. Don’t like, kill the mood, ya know?
3. Victoria’s Secret Very Sexy Chantilly Lace Babydoll
Honestly, the chick who invented babydoll lingerie should be carved into Mount Rushmore or something, because this shit is the move for when you’re bloated but still want to look really good. Sidenote: I just Googled it. Her name is Sylvia Pedlar and she actually invented it as a response to fabric shortage during World War II. She totally hated the phrase “babydoll” and also designed sexy easy-to-remove togas for women to wear to bed. She kind of sounds like a bad betch, and even though I’m going to keep calling them babydolls, my bread-loving self would just like to give good old Sylv a shoutout. Anyway, here’s a cute babydoll from Victoria’s Secret.
4. ASOS Blair High Leg Lace Body With Lace Up Back
We all know shopping for bodysuits can be a fucking nightmare, but this design features plenty of adjustable details that will make things way easier. It laces up the back and has adjustable straps, which is super helpful. Plus, the high leg shape looks amazing on everyone. This bodysuit is also called the Blair, which makes it a favorite in my book for obvious reasons.
5. Victoria’s Secret Very Sexy Fishnet Lace Corset
If you’re the kind of girl who has her shit together enough to know how to squeeze into a lace corset without even a minor injury, then like, good for you, I guess. Personally, I look for the key phrase “slips over head” when reading lingerie descriptions, but to each her own. The fishnet trend is still thriving, and this corset incorporates it in a fresh way. Even the Victoria’s Secret copywriter who wrote this description was like, “garters and straps for when you want them,” as in, IDK wtf you’re supposed to do with those either. Anyway, this is actually pretty sick, so get it.
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