Try Not To Get Distracted: Weekly Horoscopes June 29-July 3

Do you feel that, readers? In addition to both Pluto and Jupiter putting it into reverse this week, the moon is headed into Scorpio. That can mean only one thing: it’s sexy time. Also, a little bit crazy time. It’s sexy-crazy time. Embrace it. (You kind of don’t really have a choice…)


Look at you go, Aries! This week you’re using your natural charms and flirtation skills do draw someone in, whether it be a long-time flame or a new crush. You’re feeling and looking absolutely irresistible these days, so it’s no wonder your DMs are full. Get in line, people!


This week, Scorpio is helping you go deep with a partner and clear the air about an important issue. If you’ve been being stubborn about something lately (hint: you have), why not explore letting it go? Sure, you might be right (you always are), but some things are just not worth the drama. Your life isn’t a reality show… yet.


This week, a surprise attraction to someone unexpected could lead to a legit relationship. Or at least, some very fun flirting. Don’t be afraid to reach out to someone who piques your interest, even if they were previously unavailable. After three months in quarantine, there are a lot of newly single people reentering the dating scene. Just saying.


It’s only Tuesday, and you are already pretty much done with work for the week. Unfortunately, work is not done with you. Expect a lot of staring longingly out the window wishing summer vacation for adults was a thing. And be sure to leave Slack notifications on in case you fall asleep.


The Scorpio moon has you in your feelings, so don’t be surprised if you find yourself more than a little emotional this week. That means jamming out to your favorite sad song playlist, tearing up at motivational quotes on Insta, and bursting into tears at the mere memory of a This is Us episode. You’ve been warned.


Is it time to revive an old flame? Scorpio moon says yes! This week you might find yourself reevaluating an old relationship and realizing it wasn’t all that bad. Either that, or your quarantine goggles have you looking right past a series of red flags. Proceed with caution.


Slow it down, Libra. The Scorpio moon has you appreciating the little things, so be sure to spend some time this week taking walks, looking at flowers, scrolling through interior design Instas, or anything else that pleases your eye. It’s better than watching your roommate’s dish pile grow for the ninth week in a row.


Your guard? Yeah, you’re gonna need to keep that up a little longer. The Scorpio moon has everyone acting…well…a little like you. That is to say, shady as f*ck. Stay mindful and in your lane and you’ll be fine. These amateurs don’t know how to handle your energy.


Hey! Sagittarius! Over here! Focus! Please! This week’s Scorpio moon has you feeling dreamy as f*ck and is making it literally impossible to concentrate. Like, I’m honestly impressed you’ve made it to this sentence. This is just one of those weeks where you watch an entire episode of a show and realize you have no f*cking clue what happened. Don’t stress about it. Though maybe you should refrain from using the oven for a few days…


You’ve been flying solo for much of quarantine, but this week a collab is in order. Chances are you’ve been taking on a lot of responsibility at work where you could have been delegating (aka a typical Monday for Capricorn), but that ends today. I know it’s hard to believe, but there are other capable people in this world who can help you with tasks. We promise.


Take a risk this week, Aquarius! If you’ve been playing it safe these past few weeks, now is the time to break free. Your intuition is razor-sharp, meaning that even your craziest ideas have merit. Except that one about getting back with your ex. That’s just the pandemic talking.


This week, you stop being polite and start getting real. It’s no more Mrs. Nice Pice from here on out. With the moon in Scorpio, you have no patience for the bullsh*t and I am genuinely frightened for anyone who attempts to serve it to you. Especially if they do so on the apps.

Images: Giphy (12)

Alise Morales
Alise Morales
Alise Morales is a comedy writer and performer. She is the writer of the Betches Sup Newsletter and co-host of the Betches Sup Podcast.