Trump Is Throwing A Petty Party For 'Friends Of The U.S.' Only

We’re only three days into 2018 and Trump is already causing drama. Shocking. As you may recall, Trump recently made even more people hate us by recognizing Jerusalem as the official capital of Israel. We wrote a hilarious article explaining what all that means, and you can read it here.

Anyway, now The Donald is taking petty to a new level and throwing a party for all the countries that support this decision. Spoiler alert: most countries don’t support the decision because it’s dumb AF. In fact, Togo, the Marshall Islands, Nauru, Micronesia, Palau, Honduras and Guatemala, Israel and 58 other randos are the only ones invited to this “exclusive” event. This feels like that time that annoying bitch in middle school tried to buy your friendship by inviting you to her pool party, and you went because duh, pools. But then you got there and it was awkward as fuck and her dad was weird as shit, so you texted your friend and had her call you with a fake emergency so you could GTFO.

So what about those not invited? Last month, the UN General Assembly created a resolution criticizing America’s decision about Jerusalem. This isn’t an offish law that can block the decision, but basically is meant to persuade the Trump administration to reconsider. The UN General Assembly voted on the issue, and the results were 128 to 9 in favor of calling Trump’s decision “null and void.” Lol. I mean, we all know Trump isn’t great at winning the majority vote.

Actual footage of UN voting to call Trump a dumbass:

Of course, the UN made the grave mistake of assuming Trump is a sane and rational person who will listen to reason. Adorable, really. Before the vote, the Trump administration threatened to “take names” of any countries who vote against the US, and even to cut of their humanitarian aid funding. Calm down, crazy. And now he’s throwing this sad little party like the true sociopath he is. Hopefully there’s a shit ton of alcohol at this thing for his hostages guests.

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Irene Merrow
Irene Merrow
Irene makes jokes, understands politics, and has legit perfect eyebrows, all in a day’s work. Dumb bitch women really can have it all! This bio took her three days and five nightmares to write.