Renee Zellweger eats ice to feel full, Reese Witherspoon eats baby food for breakfast and lunch, and Snooki eats six cookies per day. The Hollywood diet world keeps us dietitians constantly having to serve up the truth to the public about whack diet myths that don’t work. It seems like celebs will do whatever it takes to be thin, even if it means doing something thats going to fuck up their metabolisms for life. But, who cares? They’ll just get lipo or photoshop the shit out of their selfies and it will be fine, right?
Sorry Hollywood, lipo doesn’t get rid of the visceral fat aka fat that lies super deep beneath skin, surrounds your organs and spells major trouble for your health. Plus, whatever’s left behind will shift to places you never knew existed. And if only breast implants are in the budget for the year, you’re stuck with good old fashioned diet and exercise as a permanent fixture in your iCal.
SFM (Small Frequent Meals) = Skinny Waists
While we’re certainly not suggesting you skip meals or save all of your calories for one BIG meal, eating constantly might not help you shed pounds either. Sorry to burst your bubbles betches, but there’s very little evidence that eating 6 small meals per day vs. 3 balanced meals equalling the same amount of calories in total, is going to burn more fat. While you will get a slight metabolic boost when you eat (your body has to work in order to digest) most studies show that it’s your collective calories that matter most. If you do prefer to eat SFM, keep your portions in check or your ass will be sorry come #26 spring break.
Drinking Diet Soda Will Help You Lose Weight
If you want to lose weight, put the diet soda down. Study after study shows the negative effects, some of which are pretty crazy. There are a few theories as to why diet soda is wreaking havoc on America’s waistlines. Theory #1: Because artificial sweeteners are way sweeter than regular sugar it may make your body think sugar is on its way, causing a surge in insulin, the fat storage hormone. Theory #2: Never going cold turkey on super-sweet flavors means you’ll always crave them and aside from diet soda, most super-sweet foods are majorly calorie-laden.
Celebs TOTALLY Know About Nutrition
DO NOT take nutrition advice from a celeb pleeeeeeease. They often do weird and even downright dangerous things to lose weight. They look amazing, yes, but they are crazy rich so obviously they can afford personal chefs, trainers, dietitians, and of course, plastic surgeons to keep them on track.
If you think Kim K’s post-baby “Black Swan” diet is the answer, think again. Celebs don’t live normal lives, they don’t follow normal diets, and every other week another starlet has landed in the hospital for “exhaustion.” Hmmm, wonder if their insanely ridiculous diets have anything to do with that…
You Don’t Have To Count Calories To Lose Weight
Um, yes you do. Fucking duh. Weight loss comes down to basic math that we all learned way back in elementary school. Simply put, you need to eat less and sweat more to shed pounds. Research shows people consistently underestimate how much they eat and overestimate how much they workout aka we’re all in denial and think we’re better than we actually are. So how will you know if you’re really eating less without keeping track? You won’t. Open your eyes and count, betches.
“Diet” Foods = Effortless Weight Loss
Protein bars, juice cleanses and smoothies are so hot right now, but do they work? It depends what’s in them. If your plan is to eat more protein, do it with real food like egg whites, beans and fish, not some lab-made “chocolate” concoction loaded with unnecessary calories and chemicals. Juice cleanses might help you drop a few pounds, but it all comes right back when you gorge yourself on solids, which good luck NOT doing after several days without chewing. Smoothies can be great for dieting, but if you’re adding tons and tons of fruit or stopping at your fave smoothie joint on a daily basis, you’re taking in more sugar in one sitting than you need in a week. All of the above aren’t doing your ass any favors.
This post is the contribution of our certified resident nutrition betches from www.skinnysoiree.com.