Hello, people of the internet. Gather ‘round. I’m here to tell you about a little something called a pop culture blindspot. It’s basically a zeitgeisty moment that you are completely unaware of, because somehow, be it sheer luck or an intentional Herculean effort, it never crossed into your field of vision. Perhaps you’ve successfully dodged Harry Potter for the last 20 years because you’re immune to peer pressure. Maybe you’ve never seen a single episode of Real Housewives due to a strong aversion to statement necklaces. Either way, there’s definitely a chunk of pop culture that you’re probably completely oblivious to, and your zodiac sign can definitely reveal it. (Unless, of course, you’re a skeptical Capricorn who doesn’t believe in astrology. Then you’re on your own.)
Aries – ‘Grey’s Anatomy’
As the girl boss of the zodiac (and, perhaps the only sign that would earnestly take that as a compliment), Aries simply does not have time to waste on a show that’s been on for 18 seasons. Some may say, “But it’s a workplace drama!” but let’s be real: Aries is the most likely to tweet something like, “While you’re watching a show about work, I’m AT WORK,” with a bunch of the flying dollar stack emojis.
Taurus – Disney (Like, in General)
We all rip on the Taurus in our friend group for being stubborn as hell, but I bet they’ve never spent hundreds of dollars on a trip to Disney just to spend hours waiting in line, and that is their power. They don’t care how catchy that song about Bruno is from Encanto. They will not be participating.
Gemini – ‘Succession’
In practice, Geminis should like Succession because they enjoy gossip and drama. But, they’ll never be able to stop talking long enough to watch the series without missing major plot points.
Cancer – ‘Euphoria’
Cancers enjoy feeling safe and protected, so no, they will not be sitting down for an hour every Sunday night to let a bunch of reckless teenagers stress them out for a full hour.
Leo – ‘Gossip Girl’
Leos get super uncomfy around dishonest, deceptive people… so Gossip Girl and its reboot are kind of their worst nightmare. Scheming is not something they would ever watch other people do for fun.
Virgo – Pete Davidson and Kim Kardashian, Machine Gun Kelly and Megan Fox, and Travis Barker and Kourtney Kardashian
Do you know what goes against every single value held by practical, streamlined Virgos? Having essentially three carbon copy celebrity couples. There’s simply no good reason for a Virgo to spend all day ingesting the same four headlines about six interchangeable famous people.
Libra – West Elm Caleb, Couch Guy or any other TikTok trend rooted in silly conflict
Oh, Libra. The sign most likely to stay friends with your ex in the name of avoiding conflict and not understand why you’re upset. (You won’t stay mad at them, though, because they will do something else very Libra to win your trust again, like bake you a shockingly stunning cake.) Libras are so allergic to conflict that they’d probably understand why West Elm Caleb ghosted all of those women… if they weren’t totally ignoring the trend altogether, that is.
Scorpio – ‘Call Her Daddy’
Scorpios are incredibly jealous. How jealous? Jealous enough to have the phrase “Call Her Daddy” muted on Twitter, because they’re salty that someone else is making millions to live out their dreams. And by dreams, I mean drop intense hot takes and talk about sex.
Sagittarius – ‘And Just Like That…’
Sagittarians are kind of immune to nostalgia, and really don’t see the point in rebooting every single show that has ever existed. They’re visionaries that would rather try something new in the name of adventure (even if it ends up sucking) than spend an entire season praying for a Samantha Jones return.
Capricorn – Deuxmoi
Capricorns aren’t really down to gossip, so Deuxmoi is a big fat NOPE for them. (And even if they do secretly enjoy gossip, they’d never let anyone see that they’re following the blind item Instagram account.) If they’ve ever followed Deuxmoi in a moment of weakness, they probably smashed unfollow the second they saw a stupid fluff post like, “Kristen Bell was nice to me at Applebees.”
Aquarius – Anything and Everything Related to ‘The Bachelor’
Predictability? Commitment? The entire concept of “can I steal you for a sec?” That’s three quick Aquarius strikes for The Bachelor. An Aquarius might tune into the first episode just to see if anyone comes dressed up as like, a squid or something, but they’ll be out as soon as someone says they’re “starting to fall” for another contestant.
Pisces – ‘The Challenge’
What even IS The Challenge? A Pisces will never know. The name itself is enough to make them quiver, because they truly hate difficult situations and ultimatums. Something wholesome like Ted Lasso is honestly much more up their alley.
Images: Eddy Chen/HBO; Giphy (12)