Another day, another white couple doing way too much when it comes to revealing the gender of their soon-to-be-born baby. I truly thought we had seen it all: plane crashes, pipe bombs, forest fires—but apparently not! People are still thinking of idiotic ways to announce this social construct to their closest friends and family. I’ve got to say, if there’s one thing that makes me excited for Instagram to finally remove likes, it’s that I’m confident people will stop with the over-the-top gender reveals. It’s like, if a gender reveal happens in a forest or backyard or somebody’s living room and nobody likes it, did it even happen? But this latest gender reveal did not endanger anyone (unless you’re counting my sanity); it’s just plain gross. That’s because a couple chose to do… a farting gender reveal.
No, that’s not a typo. No, I did not make it up. A fart. An actual fart. Every day we stray further from God’s light.
Here’s the video of the farting gender reveal, but I’m warning you now, it’s NSFW.
A few logistical issues come to mind, the main one being, did this woman’s friends and family willingly sign up to be mooned by her? I can imagine that e-vite: “Come watch me and my naked ass reveal my baby’s gender!” Also, how exactly did this work? Did she like, eat a bunch of hard-boiled eggs that were dyed blue, or something? Nope, you’re right, I just took it too far. Barstool reports that Paige “loaded up her asshole with baby powder” for this stunt, but provides no information on how they deduced that. Whatever, I’ll take their word for it. The less time I think about the process that went into the farting gender reveal, the better we all will be for it.
An important thing to note is that the woman behind the gender reveal, Paige Ginn, is a comedian whose Facebook bio reads “That girl who fake falls in public”. In other words, this is not exactly meant to be taken seriously. A quick (literally, 0.5 seconds) glance at her Facebook page shows that she’s no stranger to farting on video, and in fact, it makes up a good portion of her shtick. Literally the second video on her Facebook is entitled “Asking people if they farted in Walmart!” and another one is “Couples who fart together stay together!” Three of Paige’s top five videos are about farting, and she currently has 493k followers on Facebook, so while it may not exactly be high-brow humor, people really seem to like it.
The other thing to note here is that I’m not even sure if this is a real gender reveal. I went through Paige’s Instagram and there’s no other indication of a pregnancy announcement, from what I can see. And also, her stomach looks so flat, that if this woman is carrying a child, then I’m getting pregnant strictly for the abs. My guess is that the video was a joke, however, I feel like it will have the intended consequence of inspiring actual pregnant people to try to one-up this somehow. Gender reveal vomit? Gender reveal diarrhea? Anything is possible in the age of the internet, and I have faith in exactly zero people on this Earth after seeing this.
Paige’s farting gender reveal has gone viral, which I’m sure was the intended effect. So whether or not she’s actually pregnant, congratulations are in order. Except for the assault to my eyeballs, this was a pretty harmless stunt that plenty of people are finding hilarious. But if I go to a friend’s gender reveal and she drops trou, I’m coming for Paige.