Social media and brides who take their weddings too seriously are the gift that keeps on giving. Honestly, when life gives you over-the-top wedding stories, please share them with the world. They give me life. It is so foreign to me (and, likely/hopefully 90% of the normal population) that people getting married suddenly think that not only does the world revolve around them, but that people should also drop exorbitant amounts of time, money, and attention on them. You aren’t the first person to get hitched, sweetie!
That brings us to our demanding bride of the day, lovingly outlined by Caroline Moss via Twitter. Girl, you’re doing the Lord’s word. Apparently, Caroline got wind of a bride demanding people practically empty their 401k so that she could have, like, a really nice wedding. Let’s set the scene, shall we?
“It Needs To Require A Passport”
Via text, our bride sends a communication to, I assume, her future bridesmaids. It went something like this:
I love to see real HEY LADIES! stories in the wild https://t.co/oyBaGzSsD6 pic.twitter.com/EUUaukCFwN
— Caroline Moss (@CarolineMoss) August 3, 2019
Here’s the text for those of you who want to read that sh*t a few times (all grammar and spelling is left as is so you can get a full picture of the depths of depravity we’re dealing with):
“Hello Ladies, First off I am sorry for keeping everyone in limbo. I wanted to make sure that I have some form information to give to you instead of bullsh*t because people HATE group chats. I want you all to start thinking about saving. I think it would be great if we can start a money pot for things that we will need to start ordering since things will be ordered in bulk for 93% of the time. Some may oppose, some may think it’s a good idea so that they don’t spend something their saving. I’ll leave that up to you. In my opinion if we are traveling i think it would be best to a money pot for that. I want to leave on a plane for the bachelorette party. Don’t care where i go but i want it to require a passport! Some of the ladies have suggested a few places like Jamaica, Spain, Costa Rica so start thinking of places so we can make a decision. I’d like their to be a place set and stone no later than June 20, 2019. I want to do custom bathing suits as well for the trip (you know typical vibes lol) I also want to do custom robs for the special day. ( not sure if you pay for that but I’ll look into that.) the robs are $25 a piece. For the custom bathing suits i still need to pick a style. That final decision is coming really soon. (redacted) and I have decided to do a wedding shower so that cost will be split amongst 20 people both the Guys & the girls. The wedding party will occur next year. (redacted) is always an option as a location / venue lol.
I am still waiting on prices from the make up artist, hair stylist & the dress designer. As for the bridesmaid dresses it looks like the price will run everyone between $700-$850. I will confirm that in June when i go over details of the look with the designer she’s in high demand – which sucks. The designer will need a deposit so put $100.00 aside like now so when i come to you in June you’ll be ready. The rehearsal dinner date will be on Friday, July 3, 2020. So please mark your calendars. I will be sending out the wedding save the dates early May 2019 during that time the wedding website will go live. That information will on the save the dates.
I want to say thank you for being apart of this journey with me. I am scared but I am happy I marrying my best friend. If anyone has any questions please don’t hesitate to text me directly. Only want this group chat for information purposes. Just Start Saving !!!!!!!”
Aside from the GLARING grammatical errors, this is pretty, uh, ballsy. The list of demands spans what should be paragraphs, and the overall asks are simply outrageous. I personally love that it ends with “just start saving.” OH, okay. Sure, Jan.
So, if you haven’t quite wrapped your head around it, this bride is demanding the following:
1. A bachelorette party location that requires a passport—she kindly suggests Jamaica, Spain, and Costa Rica (because that’s not expensive…)
2. Custom bathing suits for said bachelorette party
3. Custom robes (also apparently known as “robs”) for getting ready the day of
4. $700-$850 bridesmaids dresses including a $100 deposit for the unnamed “designer”
5. “Saving” for “bulk items” and “hair/makeup”
Dear bride: Are you f*cking kidding? Let me break this down for you a bit: Each bridesmaid is probably already about to spend (or expecting to spend) $300-400 on a dress and alterations. You need designer pieces at $850?! NEWSFLASH: They’re going to wear it ONE TIME. FOR ONE DAY. Nobody is going to shorten that dress, no matter who designed it. The robes, hair, and makeup are reasonable expenses that most bridesmaids probably expect to spend. But planning and demanding your bachelorette party take place out of the country, asking for custom-made bathing suits, and, again, the dresses take these demands completely over the top.
According to the internet, not one person in this group chat (I LOVE group chats, so that’s another thing I have against this girl) responded. Jazz snaps for all of you. I have no issue with planning a fun bachelorette party, picking classy and nice bridesmaids dresses, and expecting your bridesmaids to pay for their own robes, makeup, or hair, if that’s what you choose to do. However, demanding that they save exorbitant amounts of money when you know full well it isn’t necessary is absolutely preposterous. I get that weddings are a big, amazing, special day, but it’s just that—one day. Remember that when you’re asking people to put their lives on hold for over a year so that parties, gifts, and all other manner of sh*t can revolve around you for a full 24 hours. Kisses.
Images: Devon Divine / Unsplash; Giphy (3)