The One Where Stephen Miller Napped

 

Stephen Miller Is Sleepy AF

Originally published in the Betches Sup Newsletter on 2/27/18

The White House held an hour long meeting on school safety yesterday and senior adviser Stephen Miller was caught sleeping through most of it. IDK what’s more offensive here, the fact that a senior White House staff member doesn’t find school safety interesting enough to keep his attention, or the fact that a senior White House staff member doesn’t even know how to take a casual mid-meeting nap without getting caught. It’s an art, Stephen. I’d teach you but, I’d rather die than hang out.

Good news for members of the LGBT community, their allies, and anyone who shed a tear during the new season of Queer Eye: the U.S. appeals court ruled Monday that Title VII of the Civil Rights Act also includes discrimination against LGBT employees, going against a Mike Pence wet dream Trump administration policy that stated sexual orientation is not protected. Casual reminder that many states still think it’s totally chill to fire people for being gay, so these rulings are a BFD.

Et tú, Ryan Seacrest? Seacrest’s former stylist is going on the record to allege that she endured years of abuse from Seacrest including, but not limited to, butt slapping, erect penis grinding, and — you guessed it — pussy grabbing. Wow. With a resume like that, and his reality TV experience, we could be looking down the barrel of a Ryan Seacrest presidency. He has like, all the qualifications.

Hate to be the bearer of bad news (but like, we’re a political newsletter in Trump’s America so it kind of comes with the territory) but President Trump is running for reelection. Today he tapped “digital guru” Brad Parscale to run his 2020 campaign. If 2016 is any indication, Brad will be the first of several assholes we meet this election.

Finally! The day we’ve all been waiting for…someone from the cast of Clueless is running for Congress. Unfortunately it’s Stacey Dash and she’s batshit insane politically buggin. Again, I’m torn. On the one hand, Dionne is literally a Fox News commentator now and I don’t want her in office. On the other hand, I’ve often said I want as many Clueless cast members in government as possible. Paul Rudd — I’m looking at you!

Low-key wish you could get all your news this way? Guess what betch, you can! Sign up for The Betches Sup newsletter and get all the news you need, explained in a hilarious af way, 5 days a week. You’re literally so welcome.

Best from Shop Betches

SHOP ALL