There Are Crazy New Updates In The Amber Portwood Drama

New details have come out surrounding Teen Mom star Amber Portwood’s arrest for domestic violence on the night of July 4th, and the story is just getting crazier. Honestly, at this point, these people are just daring me to shut down my entire life to binge Teen Mom, and I might just give in. If anyone has a working MTV login, please slide into my DMs.

In an affidavit obtained by Radar Onlinethe publication that brought us the Lisa Vanderpump dog drama, Amber’s boyfriend Andrew Glennon detailed his side of the story. Like all major domestic disputes, this whole situation was allegedly set off because Amber was upset that the traffic was too bad for the family to make it to the Fourth of July fireworks. Honestly, fireworks are overrated, so I would’ve loved to stay home, but Amber was not happy.

Andrew says that he dropped Amber off at home to “cool off,” and drove around for a bit with their son. When they got home, Amber was still upset, and she hit him with a shoe.

Live footage of Andrew getting home:

Apparently, Andrew wasn’t in the mood to have shoes thrown at him (who would be?), so he left the house and drove around some more. For three hours. That’s a lot of driving.

Andrew says he expected that Amber would’ve chilled out by the time he got home, but he obviously doesn’t know Amber. When he got to the house, Amber “was coming at him like she was going to hit him.” Yeah, that sounds more like what I was expecting.

Amber allegedly told Andrew to put James down (oh hey James! Where ya been for the past three hours?), which he refused to do because James was upset and crying. When Andrew didn’t put James down, he says that Amber threatened to kill herself. If you think we’ve gone from zero to 100 real quick, just wait for what happened next.

Andrew says that Amber then GRABBED A MACHETE. A LITERAL MACHETE. Okay, I’m no expert, but do most people have a machete in their house? Like, the kind that they use to crack open coconuts on Survivor? I have many questions about this whole situation, but somehow this is the craziest part to me.

Andrew then locked himself and James in their office, at which time he claims that Amber “struck the door with the machete and kicked the door and broke the handle.” So basically, this is a scene out of The Shining. At this point, Andrew called the cops, and Amber broke down crying at the top of the stairs. Again, we were able to obtain CCTV footage of this incident, which you can view below.

Amber has struggled publicly with bipolar disorder. She’s currently been released from jail on $2,000 bond, and Andrew has filed for full custody of their son.

I’m not sure where this crazy story will go from here, but it seems like Amber might need a break from the stress of raising a baby. James deserves whatever will make him safe, and that’s all we want out of this situation. I’m sure there’s more about the situation that we don’t know yet, but it’s obviously a sh*tshow.

Images: Shutterstock; Giphy

Dylan Hafer
Dylan Hafer
Dylan Hafer has watched over 1000 episodes of Real Housewives because he has his priorities in order. Follow him on Instagram @dylanhafer and Twitter @thedylanhafer for all the memes you could ever want.