A Magic Wand Will Cure Your Wine Hangover

There’s nothing worst than trying to relax with a nice $6 bottle of wine while watching The Bachelor and waking up the next day with a monster hangover. Life is so unfair. Thank goodness for this company and this crazy wand thing that apparently takes the bad shit out of your wine to reduce your hangover. That’s science at its finest, people.

You’ve basically been treated like a princess your whole life, so why not introduce an actual magic fucking wand to make your hangover-free wine drinking dreams come true? Enter: The Wand (inventive name). This $18 stick allegedly removes sulfites and histamines from your wine. I don’t really know what either of those things are, but they sound like they would cause headaches. 

Basically you buy this wand and you stick it in your glass of shitty wine and you swirl it around in there. The wand-ing motion in your glass aerates your wine faster, and that somehow gets rid of all the shitty aspects of drinking cheap wine. So maybe that Two Buck Chuck will taste and finish like a nice $20 bottle. It’s worth a shot.

The wand

The Wand works on both red and white wines so my Merlot betches and my Pinot Gris betches can wand together in harmony. The only question remaining is: does this also work on vodka?


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