The Return Of Your Social Life: Weekly Horoscopes May 3-7

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Mercury in Gemini is bringing out the social butterfly in all of us… or is that just the spring weather? Either way, now is the perfect time to set up a networking lunch, finally meet up with that third-tier friend for the happy hour drinks that have been hold for 15 months, or catch up with whatever coworkers still live in the area. Provided everyone is fully vaxxed, of course. 


Fire up your phonebook, Aries, because this week is all about reconnections. Chances are you’ve had more than a few relationships lapse over the past year of being legally obligated to not have a social life. And chances are there’s at least one of those relationships you’d like to rekindle. Shoot them a text and set up a time to meet up for coffee or drinks. Isn’t it great to have friends again? 


Mercury moves out of your sign into Gemini this week, meaning this week you might find yourself pulled in two different directions. This can be pretty infuriating for your decision-oriented sign. Take deep breaths. There’s no need to decide right this minute the exact design aesthetic of your child’s nursery. You’re not even dating anyone right now. 


The following is what happens when Geminis stop being polite, and start getting real. With your cosmic ruler Mercury hanging out in your sign and supercharging your communication skills, there is no topic you are afraid to broach. It’s not your fault for being honest….


Cancer? Getting in touch with their feelings? Groundbreaking. With Mercury in Gemini, you’re finally able to express the emotions that have been swirling around inside you since, well, you know… that thing that happened. Now is the time to bust out the paintbrush, dust off the ukulele, or connect with your inner interpretive dancer and let loose. Just try to keep the results off TikTok if you can. 


Permission to chill tf out! This week, with Mercury moving out of hardworking Taurus and into fun, flirty Gemini, you have permission to make like Ferris Bueller and take a skip day. You can even put a dummy in your bed if you want. Now is the time to get a head start on your summer social life, i.e. by turning Friday into a half day and “Happy Hour” into “2pm.” It’s in the stars! 


Put your phone on ‘do not disturb’, because with Mercury in Gemini, you’re going to need to do everything you can to minimize distractions. This high-energy time means you’re going to need to be on your game to handle everything the the universe throws at you. And by “on your game”, I do not mean “playing Candy Crush.” Nice try, though. 


With Mercury in Gemini, one of your best qualities, aka your sense of humor, is on full display. You can’t help but make your barista laugh, or elicit a wave of ‘HAHA’ reactions in the group chat. In fact, don’t be surprised if one of your hilarious observations about The Circle goes viral. You’re just that good. 


Bow-chica-wow-wow. With Mercury in Gemini, you can’t help help but attract some sexual attention your way. You may see an influx of DMs, matches, and texts seeing if you want to “catch up” this week as your allure reaches across the digital realm. As if you needed confirmation that you’ve still got it. 


Your usually-independent sign may be feeling the need to couple up as Mercury brings its “twinsies” energy into your House of partnerships. Single Sags may seem themselves feeling more amenable to the idea of a partner (as opposed to writing off every person you meet over “vibes.”) As for coupled-up Sags, you’ll be feeling the urge for some real quality time with your partner, not just sitting in the same apartment silently writing emails for 8 hours a day. 


This week, Mercury’s transit helps to ground you after the initial rush of spring may have gotten your head in the clouds. Now is the time to set the healthy routines that’ll take you through vaccine summer with your liver still in semi-functional shape. Remember: hydration, hydration, hydration. 


Your creative force is back! After a month of having your head *Professor Trelawney voice* in the mundane, Mercury’s move into Gemini is jumpstarting your creative engine. Your only mission is to follow wherever it leads you. Unless it leads you back to your ex, in which case, pump the brakes. 


You’re settling down at Chez Pisces this week, as Mercury heads into your house of domesticity. Yes, restrictions might be lifting, but you wouldn’t know it based off what the stars have in store for you this week. Eh, what’s one more week of Netflix-and-chilling? There has to be at least one show you haven’t watched yet…

Images: Elevate / Unsplash; Giphy (12)

Alise Morales
Alise Morales
Alise Morales is a comedy writer and performer. She is the writer of the Betches Sup Newsletter and co-host of the Betches Sup Podcast.