The Most Stressful Time: Weekend Horoscopes December 18-20

We’re literally less than two weeks away from the end of this year. While that’s exciting, sadly there’s no way to know if 2021 will be much, much better, or so much worse. The good news, though, is that we can all say we survived 2020 and have learned to either make banana bread or somehow deal with our problems.

The stars are giving a final hurrah, too, so get ready for a free fall of emotion all f*cking weekend.


You’re going to want to explore some sh*t on Friday, Sagittarius, so make a plan after work to read about UFO coverups, learn to make sourdough, or do something else that’ll make you v popular at future parties. After your exciting evening, Saturday and Sunday will be all about your nest and the people you share it with. Order pizza and snuggle up, or make your S.O. do a puzzle with you so you can argue about it later.


It’s all about money on Friday, Capricorn, so pivot right from work into your household budget and grab a glass of wine while you have a long, hard discussion with yourself about your spending. Saturday and Sunday the moon wants you to discuss sh*t with people in a constructive way. Maybe you’ve been putting off a serious convo with your mom about the Christmas cookies. Maybe you need to talk to your bestie about her pyramid scheme. Make time for that sh*t.


Celebrate yourself, Aquarius. The moon on Friday will have you feeling confident, sassy, and cute, so celebrate the end of the year early by heading out to an outdoor wine bar and getting drunk in a classy way, weather permitting. Saturday and Sunday are kind of a tear-fest and emotional rollercoaster, but lean in and do something nice, like calling your mom or watching a bunch of Hallmark Christmas movies with a friend who won’t judge you.


Focus on you, yourself, and sleeping this weekend, Pisces. Seriously, use Friday to go to bed early and dream some weird sh*t, since the stars may send you messages while your eyes are closed. Creepy! Saturday and Sunday you’ll be feeling more confident than usual, so make it a point to either go on a date or head somewhere that you’ll be seen. Oh, and wear your cutest mask.


If there was a party to go to, you’d be the life of it, Aries. Since it’s still 2020 and you probably haven’t gotten a COVID vaccine yet, it’s best to do your partying around one or two people, tops, or to schedule a FaceTime happy hour on Friday night. Nurse the hangover on Saturday and Sunday by sticking close to home, wrapping gifts, and ordering yourself some KFC or whatever.


Work for the weekend, Taurus. If there are some loose ends that need tying up at work on Friday, stay late and knock that sh*t out. It’ll definitely be appreciated. Saturday and Sunday are all about friendship, so grab a beer with a bestie or plan for a girls’ night in with one or two of your favs.


Get your holiday cheer on this weekend, Gemini. Whether you’ve neglected putting up a Christmas tree, wrapping gifts, or watching holiday romcoms, cross all that sh*t off your list this Saturday and Sunday.  You’ll also be successful in pretty much anything you attempt, so if your checkbook needs balancing (do people do that anymore?), or your lawn needs to be raked, or you need to pay attention to something your mom is telling you, you got this.


Yay for romance, Cancer. Use Friday to focus on your favorite dating app to find someone special for AFTER cuffing season. If you’re paired up, use the end of the week as an excuse to celebrate with wine, a fancy takeout dinner, and sex with the lights on. Wild, I know. Saturday and Sunday are for going out and either walking outdoors or sitting on your patio judging passersby.


Lay it all out this weekend, Leo. You’ve been holding off on having important convos, but change that sh*t Friday night so you can head into Saturday with a clean slate. Intimacy is front and center on Saturday and Sunday, so whether you have a partner to play with or are going solo, it’s time to get in the bedroom and fool around.


You’ll have some clarity when it comes to your professional life on Friday, Leo. Whether positive or negative, it’s a good time to update your resume, tell your boss they should give you a Christmas raise, and get ready to turn on the ol’ out of office for next week. Saturday and Sunday are all about romance, so make some time for your S.O. and spend time cooking together, taking walks, laughing at memes, or whatever brings you both joy.


Go with the flow this weekend, Libra. After work on Friday, shut your laptop and scan some holiday-themed decor on Pinterest, or close your eyes and take a long bubble bath. Saturday and Sunday are perfect for self-love and relaxation, so whether that means continuing the theme of not checking work emails, lying in a bathtub, getting weird with cooking adventures, or heading to a brewery with a bestie, just do whatever causes you the least amount of stress.


Domestic bliss is on the docket this weekend, Scorpio. The stars want you to totally lie around, binge watch your favorite shows (and some new ones), and give yourself some grace after work Friday and into Saturday. Once your energy is replenished and you decide to move off of the couch, do something low-key like vacuuming, dusting, or reorganizing your shoes.

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Sarah Nowicki
Sarah Nowicki
Sarah Nowicki aka Betchy Crocker writes about food, fashion, and whatever else she's in the mood to complain about for Betches and like, some other people. She resides in Asheville, NC, where she spends her time judging hipsters and holding on to her Jersey heritage and superiority. Yell at her on Instagram @sarahnowicholson