With back to school season approaching, some of you may be moving into your college dorm this week. What a special time in a betch’s life. After years of blacking out at amateur high school parties and copying off your smart friend’s SAT the next morning, you’ve made it to college—so, congrats. Before you start scoping out the hot guys in your classes, choosing rush outfits, and ditching that first RA floor meeting, you’ll need to turn your shoebox of a dorm room into something that is somewhat livable.
Being the chill betch you are, you haven’t exactly been filling up your Dormify cart all summer, but you definitely need a few staples to transform your room into something you can tolerate in between weekends. We’re not suggesting you go overboard like those girls down the hall who have coordinated their PBTeen bed sets to their heart-shaped rugs, but here are a few do’s and don’ts for your dorm room décor.
When it comes to decorating your wall, feel free to go with something classy and basic, like the typical Audrey Hepburn decal or a classic Eiffel Tower cutout. In fact, you can even throw in an Official Betch List poster. In terms of hanging up quotes, stay away from any gross sayings like “Not all who wander are lost” and “Home is where the heart is.” This isn’t your high school yearbook. Oh, and PLEASE don’t hang anything with your school team or mascot. Save the school spirit for pregame face paint and bright green Jell-O shots. For a subtle but chic addition to your room, hang up a few pics of you and your friends from high school, and if you must throw in a “good vibes only” poster, we can let it slide. You’re a freshman.
Your college bedding should reflect who you are at your core: chill as fuck but kind of cute. For sheets and duvet, stick with neutral colors and minimal prints. You can get creative when it comes to pillows. Now’s the time to pretend you care about vintage bicycles and the Buddha. No, you’ll never actually sleep on these 40-dollar a piece throw pillows, but like they’ll look so trendy in that first “all moved in” Insta.
Did the person who designed college dorms think that kids come to school with a pair of sneakers and a backpack? Where are my 8 pairs of boots and 12 tote bags supposed to go? You obviously need more storage space in this joke of a room. Whether you’re bringing in a shoe rack, a set of drawers, or a night table next to your bed, cram in as much useful storage as you can without taking up too much space. Skip that extra couch that takes up the entire room, and the beanbag chair can go too. That shit went out of style before Lizzie McGuire went off the air.
I know you’ve never actually gone grocery shopping and probably don’t plan on it, but having mini fridge in your dorm room is a must. Let’s be real—you’ll probably get grossed out by the dining hall food after a week and sometimes you just need something to snack on when you’re too lazy to sign the Seamless delivery guy into the building. Plus, your late-night drunk self will thank you later. Or hate you.
Now that you’ve mastered your dorm room, you can get started on some other important things, like finding out where the library is, so you know to avoid it. As long as you get a solid fake I.D. and steer clear of the Freshman fifteen, this semester should be just as educational and enlightening as your next four years here. Happy welcome week!