The Difference Between College And Post-Grad Roommates

For a college educated betch, the time you spent with your dorm, apartment, sorority or house roommates created some of your greatest or, let’s face it, worst memories of your collegiate experience.

Since most recent grads are still, like, pretty poor, roommate and housemate life is still a necessity in order to be able to afford a housing situation. But there are some major differences in the relationships you have with your college roommates compared to the ones you have post-grad . Here they are:

O Brother, Where Art Thou?

College: You know where your roommates are most of the time. On Tuesdays at 2:00 you know Claire is at hot yoga, and on Thursdays at 4:00 Ali is in her psych class that she hates.  There are a few times you don’t know where someone is, but if you really care that much you can text them and they’ll most likely respond.

Post Grad: You have no fucking idea where anyone is. You vaguely know if someone is or isn’t in the apartment depending on the noise they make and how many times you’ve heard the front door close.

Conflict Resolution

College: All the fighting has to be secret because you don’t want to rock the boat or end up being hated by one of your best friends. This means any issues are usually presented via a passive aggressive post-it that ends with a smiley face. If things get reallllly dire, a house-wide email might need to be sent that the dishes are getting out of control or someone’s weird sexy underwear have been sitting the washer for too damn long.

Post Grad: People are generally more considerate because you’re not their friend and therefore they don’t want to take advantage of the fact you probably won’t yell at them due to said friendship. If you do see you roommate at some point in the day, a simple reminder usually does the trick. If it doesn’t, sometimes a full blown intervention or Judge Judy is needed to resolve the issue.

The Sexy Times

College: It’s generally annoying when you can hear your friend getting it on in the next room. It does become rather comical since you know who she’s with (most of the time). If you don’t know, you’ll totally talk about it after the dude leaves, and you hope to god he leaves and isn’t a lingerer who is going to be standing in the kitchen when you get up in the morning. If it’s your best friend’s boyfriend, it’s probably kind of whatever at this point. He’s going to see you in a t-shirt and underwear, in a towel getting out of the shower and drunkenly stuffing your face.

Post Grad: You hope whomever your roomie is with doesn’t steal your shit. You also hope they leave before you wake up. Actually, you hope they leave right now.

Best Friends Forever

College: Your college roomies are your ride or dies. You guys did everything together. Grocery shopping, going to the gym, happy hours would all be happily accompanied by your roommate. You were more than excited that you could crawl into her bed on a Sunday morning and watch Netflix and talk shit about who you saw at the bars last night.

Post Grad: Who are these people? You might, rarely, on occasion order a pizza together and watch a movie, but that only happens once in a blue moon. Your work schedules might be vastly different and your friend groups might never intersect. It’s just nice having someone around once in a while to make sure you don’t fall and die alone in the shower or choke on an almond.


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