Kim Kardashian and I are very different people, leading very different lives, but one thing we definitely have in common is that we spend an obscene amount of money on crap we don’t need. The only slight difference between our spending is that she keeps on living her high-brow life and I wake up to “low funds” alerts from my bank. So my cute little financial compromise is that I’ll only buy things I need (using the term “need” loosely here) if they’re on sale. Enter Cyber Monday.
Cyber Monday is the time for me to buy things I’ve had my eye on for a while, but don’t want to drop money on when it is full price. Ya know? Read on for our top Cyber Monday picks in every area of your life, like home decor, tech, and fashion. One small caveat, there are no beauty sales listed below because I thought those sales deserved their own story. You’re welcome.
Truth be told, I own zero Ikea items because the idea of paying like, $300 for a sofa that I have to put together myself after dragging it on the Ferry from Red Hook, guided only by instructions which are 100% photos and 0% words, sounds like a truly miserable time. However, Ikea is obviously popular among more patient people, so they will be excited to know that a large selection of Ikea pieces are on super sale! Daybeds like the very minimalist chic Markerad are 20% off! Honestly, if my one bedroom that I share with another person was big enough, I’d be all over this daybed situation because I believe they are the true mark of sophistication. Also on sale—up to $200 off—are the Frigeten, Gronlid and Vimle sleeper sofas so that your weird cousin doesn’t have to share your bed when she comes to visit. Is it just me or do all Ikea names sound like they could be characters on Game of Thrones?
One thing I really want, but don’t want to shell out all of my money for, is a new rug, which is why I still have the nasty-ass one from my college apartment. Before I realized Ruggable was having a 20% off sale site-wide (with the code CM2019), I kind of just accepted sleeping in the same room as a rug I puked on in college. Yum! I am so excited to spend 97% of my Monday on Ruggable since they actually have limitless rugs. I have my eye on the Vintage Daisy Bordered one, but to each her own. One last thing about Ruggable is that when you order a rug, you get a pad too, and if you’ve ever eaten sh*t on the corner of a rug, you know how essential a pad is. Also, they’re machine washable!
I know I’ll have made it when people ask what I do and I say, “I’m an art collector.” However, today is not that day and the only art displayed in my home is a bunch of tiny framed prints from Society6. Tbh even though they are already pretty cheap, I will always take advantage of one of their massive sales, like the 50% off site-wide from November 30 through December 2. If you aren’t at art collector status yet, but still want aesthetically pleasing pieces for your
small, windowless box apartment, Society6 is the move. I have two prints, one of a pink Art Deco building with palm trees in front of it and one of eight illustrated cacti, leaning against the wall on my floating shelves. As long as you don’t get a stupid print (like “Live, Laugh, Love” in gold lettering), all of the prints will look chic af.
I have a love-hate relationship with Reformation because sometimes it looks like Forever21 quality with an Intermix price tag and since I don’t have money to waste, I’m just not about that. However, some of my favorite dresses that I’ve worn to every wedding I’ve ever attended are Reformation and I’m okay with that. One of the few reasons I like it is because the clothes are simple in both silhouette and color, which makes me more inclined to wear them all the time. For Cyber Monday, Reformation is shining down on us and offering 30% off site-wide. I mean, finally? Call me crazy, but Reformation doesn’t have sales, like, ever, so this is a big deal. I may even get up a little earlier than usual because something tells me the clothes will go fast.
Misleading name aside, Dress the Population is a great brand for people who like to be a little extra when they go out. I say the name is misleading because outfitting the population (aka everyone) implies the brand is affordable, but, rest assured, it is quite expensive. Luckily, their clothes will be affordable for four whole days starting November 27th, with a 30% off the whole site code (CYBER2019)! I first learned of this brand through Rent the Runway, but it’s sold at Nordstrom, Bloomingdale’s, Amazon Fashion, etc. My point is, it’s legit. In fact, I wore a long-sleeve mini dress with heavy beading to a wedding last weekend (giving my Reformation dress the day off) and I feel like more people complimented my dress than the bride’s. Weird flex, I know, but just trying to make a point that this brand is great.
Saks Off 5th is an amazing store and makes a serious case for never buying anything full-price. It’s like a nicer and less stressful Nordstrom Rack, and I have faithfully loved it since I found my prom dress there a decade ago. So for Cyber Monday, SO5 is having a 60% off outerwear sale. Do with that enormous discount what you will, but you can bet your bottom dollar I will be purchasing more than one coat. Normally, Amazon is my coat destination of choice, but this feels too good to pass up.
Bed, Bath & Beyond is hands-down my favorite store. I mean, it literally sells everything. So, if you have Abi Abrams-type feelings toward BB&B, please reach out to me in the comments because I feel like we will get along. But also, be sure to snag yourself a very chic Nespresso® by De’longhi VertuoPlus Coffee and Espresso Maker Bundle and Aeroccino Frother for 35% off. I mean, you have not had a good cappuccino until you’ve made it using a frother.
The last time I was in a Best Buy, it was to get the Sims 3: Makin’ Magic! However, I will definitely be paying a visit (to the website) on Monday to get the Beats Studio3 Wireless Noise-Canceling Headphones, which are regularly $350, but on Monday, are $200. Sold! I had the Solo 3 headphones, but lost them in the security line at La Guardia. That’s right, someone behind me reached into my bag and snatched them and I didn’t notice until I was on the plane trying to fall asleep to the sound of giant engines and screaming infants. RIP. All I have to say is, f*ck the person who stole my Beats! Anyway, I will finally be able to tune out my coworkers again when I order the new Beats on Monday, and I truly cannot wait.
After my old roommate **curse her soul** broke our lease and moved out, she rubbed salt in the wound by taking her TV with her. I know what you’re thinking: why would she leave it there? Well, because she bullied me into signing a two-year lease then moved out after seven months because she wanted a cuter apartment in the West Village. K. So, the least she could do after completely f*cking me over was leave her sh*tty TV. However, because she’s an assh*le, I had to buy a new one, and I ended up with a Roku smart TV. For Cyber Monday, you can head to Walmart’s website and get the same 50-inch Roku Smart LED TV with aggressively high HD for $148! Honestly, for a 50-incher, that’s pretty cheap. The smart aspect is also pretty cool because it allows you to be supremely lazy and just yell “Great British Bake Off!” and it just flips to Channel 4. Ah, technology.
Images: Ikea; Ruggable; Society6; Reformation; Dress the Population; Saks Off 5th; Bed, Bath & Beyond; Best Buy; Walmart; Unsplash