The Golden Globes is the first big show of the awards season so it’s always interesting to see the outfit choices. With both TV, movies, and a lot of champagne, it’s more of a “party” than any of the others (aka they all get crunk.) Anyway, idk if that whole “dgaf” mentality plays into the fashion choices of the attendees, but after last night’s red carpet, I’ve got to believe so. Like, Melissa McCarthy…c’mon! You’re a funny lady, but please tell me this dress was meant as a joke??? I can’t wrap my mind around the thought of you putting on this dress and looking in the mirror and going “Yes, this is the one. This purple, wizard-inspired number is exactly what I want to wear to the Golden Globes.” Well, of course she wasn’t the only one who made a questionable fashion choice last night. So let’s get into all the rest! Here are the best and worst dressed celebs of last night’s Golden Globes red carpet, in no particular order.
Breath. F*cking. Taking. Everyone with eyeballs can agree that Lady Gaga stole the show last night in this stunning, periwinkle Valentino dress, honoring Judy Garland. It was the perfect combo of drama and class, with its Lady Gaga-level-of-extra insane train and dramatic fabric. Paired with the gorgeous jewels and out-of-this-world shoes, let’s just say a star was definitely born on last night’s red carpet. (Corny, but I had to.) She looked like a modern-day Elsa, and I was completely here for it. My one complaint? The flaccid hotdog bun hair style. Down for the hair color, but hard pass on the sad, rolled-up bun plastered atop her head. Even so, she stole the entire show, so all hail to you Gaga.
Ever since I saw Crazy Rich Asians, I’ve been obsessed with Gemma Chan. Like, epitome of girl crush. Her role in the movie as a boss b*tch, independent woman, and fashion icon already had me hooked. But now, that in combination with her stunning beauty and flawless off-screen style, I’m genuinely starting to think my heterosexual ways could be changed. This dress/romper situation was EVERYTHING. Like, I know we all thought we were over the infamous Angelina Jolie one-leg look, but after last night, Gemma Chan made us all believers once again. (*Cue “I’m A Believer” by Smash Mouth.*) Perfectly paired with the matching Louboutin shoes, red lip, and the rest of her perfectly polished look, Gemma Chan’s Valentino Couture ~lewk~ was my hands down winner of the night.
Okay, was anyone else getting major Jen Aniston vibes from Kaley last night??? She had the signature Jennifer Aniston just-got-f*cked-then-had-a-margartita effortless look, and I loved it. Not to mention, her gown had pockets. Like, what a freaking dream. I mean, just think of all the snacks and mini vodka bottles she was able to sneak in!!! Looks like the brilliance of those nerds on The Big Bang Theory rubbed off on her after all!
Regina King will always have a special place in my heart as the bad*ss babe who pushed diner-girl-Sam (aka Hilary Duff) to pursue her own fairytale-moment in my fav childhood movie, A Cinderella Story. I couldn’t get enough of Princeton Girl’s secret online love affair with high school heartthrob Austin Ames, played by the one and only Chad Michael Murray. Like, this is an inspiring modern day fairytale! Like, this is also probs why I’m such a hopeless romantic for dating apps now!!! Smh, I’ll have to ask my therapist about this later. Anyways, back to Regina. The color was stunning on her and the dress perfectly showed off her incredible bod. Hard ten.
I was super on board with Nicole Kidman’s elevated Britney Spears circa “Oops I did it Again” inspired gown. Not to mention, her dress was as tight and unforgiving as Britney’s own iconic latex onesie. And yet, there wasn’t one ounce of pudge ANYWHERE. I mean, to go ahead and just quote Britney herself, this look was truly “sent from above.”
Betty Cooper was straight fire on the red carpet last night. Credit her recent undertaking as the role of Gargoyle Queen or what, but she looked so freaking good. Her dress made a statement, but not in a trying too hard way. Also, it wasn’t super obvious in all the pictures, but the tulle on the bottom half of the dress was actually sheer, making it perfectly low-key provocative. This look was the pure embodiment of innocent Betty Cooper, who also happens to be a Southside serpent, and is in love with bad boy, Jughead Jones. And truly, there was nothing better.
WTF is happening??? Like, what am I looking at??? This outfit is so f*cking extra and I simply can’t figure out what look she was even going for here. My final conclusion of the look: Iron Man in Chanel attending a post apocalyptic award show. The gold hat looks like it came from a cheap Aladdin costume, while the neck gear looks like it came straight from the set of Game of Thrones. Not to mention, the tacky gold belt, which looks like one of those free ones that comes attached to an INC jumpsuit from the clearance rack of Macy’s. To really take this look to the grave, it appears that Tina Knowles even had the final touch on the look, and whipped out her sewing kit to throw on some unnecessary gold sequins. Yikes, man.
Okay Miss Frizzle! Honestly, I had a hard time deciding which was worse – this look, or Janelle Monae’s. Both awful in their own respects. This dress looks like a cheap wizard costume someone’s mom made for the school play. If anyone has ever seen Fantasia, then you know she looks EXACTLY like Mickey Mouse dressed as a wizard. And tbh, I think Mickey wore it better. Sorry, Melissa, you’re still funnier though, Mickey could never.
This dress gave me a bad taste of nostalgia that my Sunday scaries simply weren’t prepared for. Remember in grade school when it was supes cool to have glow-in-the-dark stars on your ceiling and a tulle canopy over your bed? Toss in some neon Lisa Frank colors and prints, and there you have it, Lucy Liu’s dress. Maybe my prepubescent self would have liked this, but my judgy 20-something self hated it.
There’s a right way to do menswear, and there’s a wrong way. This was the wrong way. There’s no way big-time magazine editor, Jenna Rink, would have tolerated Lucy’s conniving half-assed friendship if she had shown up to their all-important magazine party in this monstrosity. Maybe if she had lost the collared shirt and bow tie, I would have liked it. But as is, there’s no way Lucy (aka Tom-Tom) would have even been allowed in the “Six Chicks.” Just saying.
This dress really threw me for a loop. In its essence, I actually do like the dress. But the nude color on Wu’s porcelain skin was not ideal. Nor was the unnecessary orange velvet bow, which cheapened the whole look. Like, if the undergarment style top half of the dress didn’t already make the look unfinished enough, the bow really had me questioning whether this dress was actually ready to be worn or not. It reminded me of when you panic and realize you don’t have anything to wrap your gift in, so you start taking apart your room to find a pathetic piece of ribbon in attempt to make it look like you tried. I mean, Vera Wang did make a few of the gowns for last night, so she was def a busy lady. Maybe Constance’s happened to be last, and really just wasn’t finished on time? If that was the case, then maybe she should have at least gone with a more glamorous and polished hairstyle to counteract the unfinished dress, but what do I know?
This look legit just hurt my head. For the life of me, I couldn’t understand where her waist ended and her legs started. It actually reminded me of something from a scene in a movie where they’re giving the main character a makeover, and she tries on a bunch of different looks until she gets to the right one. And this look was obviously one of the examples of a wrong one. In particular, it reminded me of one of the outrageously hideous looks that Lizzie tried on during that fashion show scene in The Lizzie McGuire movie. The confusing proportions of the dress mixed with the Renaissance queen hairstyle was all too much for my poor eyes to bear.
Jamie Lee Curtis
Okay, this look was a toughy because there was good and there was bad. Not going to lie, if “GILF” isn’t already in Urban Dictionary then it needs to be added in with this pic of Jamie Lee Curtis from the Golden Globes last night. With her glowing skin and bronzed spray tan, Jamie Lee Curtis looked liked she’s been living her best f*cking life. Unfortunately, the pure white hair with the pure white gown was not the way to go. She looked like a cross between Jack Frost from Santa Clause 3 and a Q-Tip on her way to prom. In summary, Jamie Lee Curtis you look great, but should probs fire your stylist.
The Golden Globes was the perfect storm of fashion high-highs and low-lows. There were plenty of other honorable mentions but tbh, I didn’t even know who half of them were, and therefore, did not feel I had the authority to respectively applaud or criticize their look. Jk, who am I kidding, I’m more than happy to judge them regardless. It just would have honestly taken me another two days to write about legit EVERYONE in attendance. However, I’m totally confident y’all will flood the comment sections with all the ones I left off, so go ahead, and let the trolling begin.
Images: Getty Images (15)