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Thank God That’s Over: Weekend Horoscopes For August 17-19

By Wicked Betch of the West | August 17, 2018
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Mercury will stop retrograding over the weekend so you can get back to living your best life. Of course, nothing is perfect and there are a few other planets still in retrograde, so if you don’t feel like you’re back on your A game, that’s why. With Mercury out of retrograde, you’re less likely to run into an ex or send an embarrassing drunk text to your boss by accident. Therefore, you can let your hair down a little bit and go back to your favorite bars without the fear of running into Ryan who you ghosted three weeks ago. Here are your weekend horoscopes for August 17-19:

Aries

Don’t be shy with your feelings this week. You’re less likely to receive negative feedback since Mercury is out of retrograde. You’ll probably receive a positive response when you open up about how you feel, so if you were waiting to DTR, you’re safe to have that chat now. Also, the planets keep your mood and delivery light and fun. Really, there’s no better time to shoot your shot on the dating apps or with that guy that’s had a target on his back since you met.

Taurus

The Moon teaming up with Jupiter in Scorpio is revealing what’s possible in a partnership. That’s great if your eyes have been opened to a possible relationship. Maybe you can move a guy from the back burner into more serious territory. It’s not so great if you just start the pattern of emotional masturbation. You know, like when you create a Pinterest board for the wedding you and a guy you just matched with will have in the future. Yikes. This weekend, be positive, but not too creepy. One date at a time, betch.

Gemini

Normally, the best advice for you is to put down your phone and just enjoy what’s actually happening in real life. This weekend, though, that’s not the case. Keep your phone handy, because your world will revolve around what’s happening on screen. Whether you fire up the dating apps for a little casual flirting or take it to Sext Town with a long-distance fling, just make sure you keep things light and fun. Girl, Mercury is just getting out of retrograde. Wait to settle down and be more serious, or that relationship will be doomed from the start.

Cancer

Did you already have an Ikea trip planned for this weekend? If not, you might want to get on it. Mercury in your house of money and possessions, syncing with beauty-conscious Venus in your home zone, will make you want to nest like a motherf*cker. Is that a thing? Anyway, you also should hit up the vintage stores and flea markets. Your haggling skills will be on point all weekend, so you might score a gem for cheap. Psh, Joanna Gaines has nothing on you.

Leo

The power of your words is strong this weekend. One of your friends has been going through a rough time. You don’t even have to think about who that is, do you? You probably were holding back because you didn’t know exactly what to say to that person. Well, you absolutely need to get over yourself and come through with some kind words of encouragement right now. Don’t worry about how it will be received. The thought alone will mean more to them than you could even know. Awwwww. That’s sweet.

Virgo

Sure, you can do your plotting and planning for something big this weekend, but you should probably keep those plans on the DL. Mercury syncing with  Venus in your money zone means keeping the details under wraps will prevent others from ruining everything. You know how, like, when you tell people what you’re up to they immediately want to jump in with suggestions? Trust that you don’t need the advice from others this time around.

Libra

Learn to take a freaking compliment this weekend. It feels weird to get so much praise from others, but it’s super f*cking rude to tell someone their compliment to you isn’t true. Mercury in your social eleventh house syncing with Venus in your sign will allow you to feel good about yourself, so don’t deny it. Likewise, take each bit of constructive criticism for what it’s worth. Because Christian your hair stylist said you could use some highlights doesn’t mean he thinks you’re a hideous beast. He’s really just looking out for you, honey.

Scorpio

Your secretive side is really coming out this weekend. You want to keep all personal information close to your chest. Which is fine, but you can probably tell your roommate who you’re going on a date with so she knows who to blame if you end up dead in a ditch somewhere. Sure, that’s morbid, but your total and complete shadiness isn’t really protecting anyone this weekend. Feel free to give a little bit of info away. Trust me, you won’t lose your sense of mystery at all.

Sagittarius

This weekend, the Moon teams up with your Jupiter ruler and is awakening the depths of your psyche. Don’t be surprised if you have a total and complete realization about something over happy hour margaritas. You might even wake up from your Friday/Saturday night blackout with a whole new lease on life. There’s no need to meditate on your life and choices. This weekend the answers will magically just come to you. You’re welcome.

Capricorn

You need to get something embarrassing off your chest. Sure, you’ve gone over the conversation in your head a million times, but you don’t really feel prepared for this discussion. Pretend that you’re mature for, like, a minute and just get it over with. Pull it off quick like a Band-Aid so we can all move on with our lives. It can’t be that bad, can it? I mean, unless you’re telling someone that they’re going to need to take some antibiotics after a night together, this won’t be the worst convo you’ve ever had to have. K?

Aquarius

If you’re feeling awkward at a social function this weekend, I’m sorry, but you can’t blame Mercury in retrograde anymore. Now it’s just a problem with your personality. JK, but really. Mercury’s relationship to Venus this weekend could put you in a crowd with a different background than you. Work on finding common ground. If that doesn’t work, just tell an embarrassing story about yourself. I sure you have plenty of those. Plus, it makes you look normal and approachable. What’s not to love?

Pisces

Your weekend horoscope calls for you to end up at a destination that’s out of the norm. Whether you find yourself at a rodeo or fair—hey, I’m the Wicked Betch of the West; it’s just what we do out here—your surroundings won’t be typical. The best course of action is to do as the Romans do. Don’t get too caught up in trying to look cool. You’ll definitely never see this group of people again. Get in, get your Insta, get out and move on without thinking too much about it.

Images: Giphy (6)