TG It's Sweater Weather: Weekend Horoscopes October 4-6

When the cold air finally hits this weekend, you’ll find me layered in sweaters, sipping a hot chocolate spiked with something interesting, and festooning the sh*t out of my front porch with leaves, pumpkins, and other useless gourds. I’ll scream at my neighbors that they need to get in the holiday spirit, and I’ll probably get a stern talking to from the HOA. LET ME LIVE MY LIFE THO. As we head face-first into Libra season, the planets and stars have everything from dealing with #feelings to craving weekend getaways in store for you all.


Time to let your creativity shine, Libra. I know it sounds kinda lame, but this weekend is a great one to explore sh*t like painting, sculpture classes, or other artistic endeavors. The moon in Capricorn may make things feel, well, a little meh, but combat that sh*t by giving in to your inner basic bitch on Saturday, going apple picking with friends, and then chugging hard cider for the actual worst hangover of your life. YAY, FALL.


Mercury is officially in your sign, Scorpio, making you want to EXPRESS YOURSELF all f*cking weekend. Head out on Friday night for a good chance at meeting someone special, but be careful—getting too rowdy and being crude will drive potential hookups, romantic partners, and even friends away. Watch yo’self.


Make a lot of time for friends this weekend, Sagittarius. Just be careful about your money situation. You tend to spend more than you should when you’re out YOLO-ing (is that still a thing?), so best to choose activities with your group that include sweats, cheap food, and a lot of gossip.


Oh god, it’s a thinking weekend, Capricorn. You’re going to be feeling extra in touch with your thoughts and feelings (like, “why am I here?” and “where DOES all my money go?”) so make time to sit, relax, be alone, and think on life. It sounds super lame, but spending Saturday being introspective will have you feeling refreshed all day Sunday, and ready to hate work again on Monday. Adulthood is like, so fetch.


Time to explore some sh*t, Aquarius. Your desire to get adventurous af in your own town this weekend makes it a great opportunity to check out a new cuisine (like anything that doesn’t require utensils), head to the next town over for a quick weekend getaway, or try a new sex position with your partner that seemed really f*cking weird up till now. Mercury in Scorpio could make you a bit irritable on Saturday, but ignore that sh*t and channel your energy into new food or sex or locations.


You’re going to be craving some support this weekend, Pisces, so make sure your girls are nearby. If you’ve been feeling down and out lately, lean on your bitches this Saturday over lunch and drinks. You need to get out of the house and not be afraid to discuss what you’ve been feeling lately.


You just wanna fight everybody, Aries. It’s best if you just feel feelings on your own this weekend, since any interactions with other human beings (aside from the GrubHub guy) have the potential to stoke an ugly argument. It’s best for you to park yourself right in front of your TV and yell at idiots along with Gordon Ramsay on, well, pretty much any program he’s a part of.


Tackle that f*cking to-do list, Taurus. You have all the energy you need to do some hardcore DIY sh*t AND unpack groceries. Shoot, you may even mail a letter on Saturday! Sunday is all about winding down, so head out with friends and see that freaky new Joker movie, or go judge people at the mall (when was the last time you did that?).


‘Tis the weekend for possibilities, Gemini. Seriously, everything from new friends to new romances to new social sh*t is on deck this weekend. If you’re wifed up, have a date night with your partner, sip some new wine, and embrace being fancy. If you’re single, head out with friends to meet potential new lovers or update that dating app profile you’ve been neglecting. Anything you do this weekend is bound to be a great time.


Time to take care of your financial situation, Cancer. We know it isn’t that much fun, but you can’t ignore the business side of life. Your partner or a close friend may need a helping hand or two on Saturday, so be sure you’re available and not super focused on yourself.


It’s a great weekend to learn some things, Leo. Take a look around for new classes, skills, and activities to explore this weekend. You could also head out to a park on Saturday, enjoy the fall weather, and doodle in a journal. If you’re not down with any of that, just make some time to read a good book. Maybe a cookbook? Maybe you’ll cook something new, or maybe you’ll order Taco Bell delivery. Only the stars know for sure…


It’s a great weekend to get those wild ideas off the ground, Virgo. If you’ve been playing with the idea of opening an Etsy shop for your handmade cat sweaters, or opening a stall at the farmers’ market for your hand pies, or trying to secure that position as a CrossFit instructor, this is the weekend to sit down and figure it the f*ck out. Grab a friend and bounce your ideas around over several glasses of wine on Saturday. On Sunday, you’ll be ready to hit the ground running.

Images: Kristopher Roller / Unsplash; Giphy (12)

Sarah Nowicki
Sarah Nowicki
Sarah Nowicki aka Betchy Crocker writes about food, fashion, and whatever else she's in the mood to complain about for Betches and like, some other people. She resides in Asheville, NC, where she spends her time judging hipsters and holding on to her Jersey heritage and superiority. Yell at her on Instagram @sarahnowicholson