Tech Companies Will Let You Work Wherever The Fuck You Want

There is a new social network (yeah another one…) called PowerToFly that connects companies with remote workers. Meaning if you have the right skills and an Internet connection, you can literally work from wherever the fuck you please.

Personally, it would be a tough choice between the beach and my bed. Maybe we could figure out some kind of alternating schedule. To be discussed.

PowerToFly was originally set up to promote women in tech, since apparently a lot of them were dropping out to do shit like start a family. Ugh, the quintessential career or babies dilemma.

The network is supposed to be the solution by letting moms stay home with their brood while also programming away or whatever the fuck people in tech companies do. Let them have their baby and eat it too. Wait, what?

Then a bunch of other industries jumped on the bandwagon and were like “We promote women in the workplace too!” Except like figuratively, since they don’t actually have to show up. Companies such as Hearst and BuzzFeed are getting in on this deal.

But like… do you have to actually have a baby to do this? What if I sign up for one of those World Vision Adopt A Child programs, in the non-Brangelina way? I’ll even get one of those creepy lifelike dolls that piss themselves if it means that my morning commute suddenly does not exist.

Sign me the fuck up. My fake offspring and I have some bonding to do in the Maldives and then we might go live in Bali. I mean, Indonesia is just such a nice place to raise a family. Please send my paycheck to my usual account.


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