We Think We Know Why Taylor Swift Purged All Her Social Media Accounts

Taylor Swift has been in the news recently for winning her sexual harassment lawsuit, but other than that it’s been months since we’ve heard from her. She hasn’t been posting online or making public appearances, and so we knew something had to be up sooner or later. It was all just too quiet, and then on Friday, something happened: everything disappeared.

All of Taylor’s social media accounts were dismantled piece by piece, with every old tweet and Instagram getting thrown in the dumpster fire that is 2017. Her profile pictures went away, and it was almost like she never existed (if only). So what the fuck is happening? Here are the most likely explanations.

New Album

There’s a really solid possibility that this is Taylor getting ready to drop new music. Her social media shutdown happened on the 3-year anniversary of her announcing 1989, so it seems like her mind must be on the next project. We’re just really hoping that the hip-hop album she was allegedly working on turns out to be just a rumor. If Taylor starts rapping we will beg for North Korea to drop a nuke and just end it now.

Taylor Swift

Eclipse Bullshit

Our favorite possible explanation is that Taylor blacked out her social media in honor of the solar eclipse that everyone is losing their minds about. So far, we’ve experience three days of T-Swift social media totality, and if she makes a comeback it’s definitely going to hurt our eyes. Taylor is super extra, so we wouldn’t put something like this past her.

She’s Just Tired

Maybe this is Taylor just throwing in the towel once and for all, because the pressure is just too much. She got an Anna Wintour haircut and won more Grammys last time, so how could she possibly live up to that hype again? It’s okay Taylor, if you want to leave the spotlight, just DM us the address of your New York City apartment and we will gladly move in.

Taylor Swift

A Shitty Intern

Taylor probably has a whole team of people that help run her social media, but maybe there’s one really incompetent summer intern who like, put her elbow on the wrong button and everything was just gone? There’s like a 0% chance this is actually what happened, but we still love the thought of Taylor fucking losing her shit at a 19-year-old for ruining her followers ratio on Instagram.

She Got Drunk And Accidentally Liked One Of Her Ex’s Instagrams From 64 Weeks Ago

I mean, we’ve all been there, and at that point your only options are to erase all your social media presence or move to Africa.

Taylor Swift

So which one is it? It could be all of them! It could be none of them! But most likely, it’s a new album. Brace yourselves, Taylor is coming.