Taylor Swift Got Her House Declared A Historic Landmark Because Of F*cking Course

Taylor Swift has managed to out-Taylor Swift herself and got her house declared a historic landmark, in true Taylor Swift fashion. If you’re wondering exactly what I mean by “Taylor Swift fashion,” you really need to read my rants more, but essentially anything that falls under the umbrella of “extra” behavior is what I’m talking about. Because really, can you recall one single instance in which Taylor Swift has actually opted to do less? NO YOU CAN’T. Because one such moment does not exist. In the history of her life, which we all know began in 1989 because she named a fucking album after it. 

Can we talk for one second about how strange it is to name an album after the year in which you were born as if it marks some cultural touchstone? And then to have that album be about nothing but post-breakup shade-throwing songs that take place nearly two and a half decades after that date? I know I’m making this point a full three years too late, but it only just occurred to me now, so. Namaste.

But anyway, before I get sued for slander or (sigh) do Taylor a disservice, she didn’t get her house declared a landmark because she lives in it. At least, not technically. The house she lives in was owned by Samuel Goldwyn of Metro Goldwyn Meyer aka the movie studio with the roaring lion at the beginning of basically every single movie, so her presence actually has nothing to do with this. At least, not really. 

Side Eye

All right, I’ll allow it. As much as I wanted to indulge my salty side, I really cannot criticize Taylor Swift for this move. Sadly. Guess I’ll just have to go get my kicks elsewhere. I wonder what stupid shit Kylie Jenner’s been up to lately?