The Two Worst Humans On The Planet Just Got Engaged

Hello and welcome all, to your weekly dose of Youtuber news that you’re too embarrassed to admit you don’t quite understand because you’re old. Or maybe that’s just me! Unfortunately, our regular Youtube correspondent, 50 Shades of Betch, is out today, and I will be doing my best to fill his shoes. What I’m about to tell you is either the worst piece of real news ever, or a publicity stunt that isn’t even that smart because I don’t believe it from the get-go. Anyway, apparently two of the most problematic Youtubers to ever grace computer screens worldwide, Tana Mongeau and Jake Paul, are engaged. In related news, I just swallowed back some bile.

But before we get into this engagement, let’s back up a bit. Who are Tana Mongeau and Jake Paul? Imagine the sh*ttiest person in your high school class, and then now imagine that person had a lucrative career as a vlogger. Yes, truly awful. Tana Mongeau, subject of our Photoshop Fail of the Week column, has been around for a while. Earlier this year, she was in a throuple with Bella Thorne and Mod Sun, though she split from the couple before Bella and Mod finally called it quits, too. Most importantly, she was the creator behind the failed TanaCon event, a video convention that was supposed to be a rival to VidCon, which is a massive convention that happens every year.

Basically, Tana got pissed that she wasn’t invited as a Featured Creator to VidCon, so she boycotted the convention and attempted to host her own on the same weekend. The event was supposed to be held at the Anaheim Mariott Suites Hotel, and people started lining up for the event, and didn’t get in for hours. They were stuck waiting outside with no food, water, or shade; some people got really bad sunburns, while some even passed out from the heat. Oh, did I mention, this was in California. It got so crowded that they stopped letting people in—which might have been for the best, because like Fyre Festival, there was really nothing going on inside TanaCon.

So that’s TanaCon. Then we get to the human equivalent of bodega sushi that is Jake Paul. I’ll give Jake this: he’s not as bad as Logan Paul, who, if you’ll recall, went to the “suicide forest” in Japan and uploaded a video that showed a person who had hanged themself. Jake Paul is Logan Paul’s brother, which makes him sh*tty by association, and he also got famous through Vine, which makes him intolerable. In all seriousness, he got in some trouble for posting a Youtube video about how he lost his virginity (spoiler alert: nobody cares), which was criticized as being too explicit for his younger audience. He has also been accused of racism multiple times, and his ex-girlfriend accused him of emotional abuse and manipulation. So that’s a brief rundown.

Now that we are vaguely aware of who Tana Mongeau and Jake Paul are, let’s get into their engagement. Tana has *supposedly* been dating Jake for some time now. Tana turned 21 over the weekend and took a party bus to Vegas with some friends. Then, Jake bought her a casual Benz that costs around $125,0000, and then Tana posted an Instagram story that said she is engaged and tagged Jake in it.

Now, I know what you’re thinking, because I’m thinking it too: surely this is fake. Surely it’s a publicity stunt. This is way too suspect for it to be real. I’m not the only one who thought that; actress Ashley Liao thought it too. She tweeted at Tana basically asking if the engagement was real or not, and Tana assured her it is.

So, this engagement appears to be real. I’ll believe it when I see them walk down the aisle, but whatever. For now, this is the story that Jake and Tana are sticking to. I can’t wait to see how they will milk this for their personal brands! I’m predicting a bunch of over-the-top PDA for a few weeks, followed by a carefully orchestrated blowout fight. Let’s see if I am right!

Images: CarlieCircop1, tanamongeau / Twitter