IDK about you but I feel like I’ve aged 20 years this week and it’s barely Thursday. There’s something about America’s impending doom and a racist Cheeto in the oval office that’s making me feel v v old rn. It’s either that or the 3-5 glasses of wine I chugged last night in order to cope with the state of our country and also the icky feelings I had while watching BiP address sexual assault allegations to a crowd of reality TV rejects in casual beachwear. It’s honestly 50/50 at this point. I mean, just looking at Twitter gives me crow’s feet. CROW’S FEET. Nope, I won’t let a man the color of a Halloween peep and Chris Harrison do this to me and my selfie game. You won’t get away with it, you bastards! And if I can’t combat the signs of aging with sheer force of will then I guess I’ll resort to
throwing money at my problems anti-aging beauty products.
Now, we’ve already given you a v important guide to anti-aging beauty products for every stage of your life (you’re welcome btw) but, like, some of that shit is expensive. If I’m going to accept the fact the I won’t be young forever I need to do so by pretending those feelings don’t exist with
massive amounts of alcohol a decently priced bottle of wine. At the very least. But that’s not going to happen if I’m shelling out $80 plus for a tube of eye cream the size of my index finger. So here are the best drugstore anti-aging products that will keep you looking young AF.
^^Honestly, high compliments
1. Aveeno Positively Radiant
If you want to do the absolute least with your skin then invest in a good AF daily moisturizer, particularly one with a good SPF. Your skin does not have time for you and your day drinking for the Insta antics. So if you, like, want to avoid fucking up your skin I’d start making moisturizing a bigger priority than backwards stalking your ex. I’ve repped Aveeno before but that’s because this shit is amazing. I use it every day and it is the reason I still look damn good in my selfies
underneath the dog filter and manufactured lighting. Fucking duh.
2. Neutrogena Rapid Wrinkle Repair Eye Cream
If people say the eyes are the windows to the soul, then my soul must be saying “spends 2-3 hours googling ‘Kardashian kids’ outfits’ a night.” Seriously, guys, I’m available. Don’t all line up at once. Obviously, I need all the help
my money can buy I can get from the clearance section of a CVS. Neutrogena’s eye cream is more legit than your last boyfriend’s job as an influencer *cough* Robby Hayes *cough* and it’s cheap AF. Retinol-packed eye creams are the only way to banish wrinkles from your face, and Neutrogena’s is fast-acting so you can look younger by Friday’s happy hour.
3. L’Oréal Hydra Genius Water Cream
Getting old also means your skin starts to retain less water and my younger self is literally rolling her eyes at me and all my wacky self-care ideas *internally sobs*. If your skin needs some major hydration before the age of 30 then I’m guessing it’s 40 percent age, 60 percent the fact that your daily liquid intake consists of coffee and wine (hi). I suggest drinking more water, which is v boring but will make you look less like a dehydrated monster. I also suggest incorporating L’Oréal Hydra Genius Water Cream into your daily beauty routine ASAP. Mixed with aloe water, this product feels like you’re getting a facial every damn day without the sketchy Groupon. You should use it before you put on any makeup and at night for amaze results.
4. RoC Retinol Correxion Sensitive Night Cream
Investing in a good retinol product is going to be the key to everlasting youth. And here I thought is was actively not acknowledging the passage of time. Huh, the more you know. Though retinols have amazing anti-aging benefits, sometimes the retinol-based creams can be harsh AF on your skin. The RoC Retinol Correxion Sensitive Night Cream contains a milder concentration of retinol, so your skin won’t look ratchet while your cells work to erase your fine lines. Plus the hyaluronic acid in it helps hydrate and plump skin, so you can look like a college freshman again (sans the sign on your forehead that screams, “I AM BEGGING TO BE GROPED IN A FRAT BASEMENT DANCE FLOOR BY SUPER SENIORS!”).
5. Boots No 7 Protect & Perfect Intense Beauty Serum
This is the shit you’ll need in your 30s when you’re
wishing it was still socially acceptable to bong beers on a Tuesday reminiscing about your youth. Beauty serums like this one are super important because it stimulates the production of collagen AND protects you from you and your shitty life choices environmental factors. This serum in particular has vitamin C and glycerin in it, which will leave your skin looking softer, brighter, and dewier—and it works faster than Donald Trump crafting a racist tweet.
Laying out on the beach every day is all you obviously have planned for this summer. You’ll turn into an exotic goddess and slowly become one with the ocean and all its inhabitants. It’s all fun and games until you look in the mirror and are horrified with the red, peeling thing staring back to you. It’s the fact that your skin is literally fried. It’s casual. Despite feeling disgusted with your body and all the weird shit it just has to do, you probably even feel some sort of satisfaction when you slowly peel it away as if saying yes, out with the old and in with the new. Well, since I know you still want to look 20 when you’re 50 without becoming the next Heidi Montag, I’ve rounded up the best skin products for this summer. I’m saving you from getting wrinkles because the day I find one, I will contemplate on throwing myself in front of a bus. And I’m not even kidding.
From sunburn relief to dark spot correctors, run to your nearest Sephora and spend a ridiculous amount of money (which is obviously nothing new) on things you actually need.
1. Clinique After Sun Rescue Balm With Aloe
This is crucial to have after a day spent in the sun. This oil-free moisturizing balm is infused with aloe to ease any sunburn damage so you’re not wincing every time you blink. It restores your skin’s flexibility and prevents your skin from flaking like crazy.
2. COOLA ER+ Radical Recovery After Sun Lotion
This lifesaver hydrates your skin while protecting it at the same time from those pesky cancer-causing rays. This is the secret to looking young enough to still get randomly ID’d at the bar. This is a huge compliment, so take it while you fucking can.
3. KORRES After Sun Greek Yoghurt Cooling Gel For Face And Body
If you feel and look like a boiling lobster by the time you leave the beach, this yogurt concoction will do wonders for your nasty burn. The ingredients will cool you down quicker than you can say, “I need a bottle of wine to the face.” It’s even better because it not only works for sunburns, but for any horrid skin irritation as well. Who knew Greek yogurt had so many fucking benefits? Apparently, also like yogurt, you can keep the gel in the fridge for best results. *Buys every Chobani the nearest grocery store has*
4. SHISEIDO Pureness Oil-Control Blotting Paper
I’m just going to leave this here because if you don’t carry blotting paper with you on the reg by now, we can’t be friends.
5. Dermalogica Oil Control Lotion
If you are always the first one to get pit stains (there’s always one of you in the group), you should probably get like, a new deodorant or consider having your sweat glands removed because I can’t help you there. I will advise that you buy this miracle lotion if your face usually looks like a greaseball and is naturally the cause of death of your once-straightened hair. This helps control any unnecessary amount of oil you may have, prevents future breakouts, and leaves a refreshing matte finish. Maybe we can have nice things after all.
6. Belif The True Cream Moisturizing Bomb
For those of you who may look like a shedding reptile in the heat, this literal bomb explodes a shit ton of creamy hydrating goodness on your skin. I’m serious—it’s intended to “burst” when you apply it. Ok, I realize this sounds worse and worse by the sentence, but you get the point. You can use before or with makeup if you plan on fooling everyone with your “totally natural” beach face.
7. OLEHENRIKSEN Truth Serum
I wasn’t always the hot, bad betch I am now. I honestly think I had my glow-up in the beginning of college and thank god, I did. There’s nothing that scares me more than thinking about what I looked like when I was 14. Puberty hit me like a fucking school bus from North Shore High School. I had such bad skin, I almost convinced myself that I could drop out of school and land a role as Freddy Krueger. Now that those godforsaken days are over, I religiously use this to brighten all my dark spots before I roast under the sun. This saved my life, and now, I’m saving yours and you know why? Because I’m a pusher.