It might feel like a thousand years and about 100 nuclear war-related panic attacks ago, but the United States used to have a president named Barack Obama, and he was cool AF. Equally cool was his First Lady, Michelle Obama, who you may remember for her crazy life choices, like actually living in The White House and not openly hating her husband. It’s hard to recall, but it was actually just three months ago when we had a President who didn’t keep his tie held together with tape, and a first lady who didn’t literally shudder at her husband’s touch.
So look, Barack and Michelle have been #relationship goals for a long time now. Whether it be Obama tearing up while talking about Michelle in his final address to the nation, making cute faces at kids during the Easter Egg roll, or dancing romantically while Beyoncé personally seranaded them with “At Last” at his first inauguration, these two have done a lot to make us all look at our own cuffing season hookups and say “Yeah, this isn’t going to make it to summer.” And since retiring from what is quite literally the hardest job on Earth, Barack and Michelle have embodied the “work hard play harder” mentality by going on a series of lavish vacays with all of their A-list friends, making the weekend getaway to Rehoboth beach you and bae have been planning for months look like a couple’s wisdom tooth extraciton by comparison.
Since January, The Obamas have been spotted relaxing in Palm Springs, kitesurfing in the Virgin Islands with Richard Branson, dining at NYC’s hottest restaurants, and now, casually posing for Instagrams on a yacht.
That’s right, a photographer snapped a pic of Obama snapping a pic of Michelle on a yacht (like ya do) and the internet is officially freaking out:
Obama taking a fire pic of Michelle with his iPad is everything I needed tonight pic.twitter.com/8bb5oRQWkH
That’s right. While you’re out here stressing over North Korea and just tryna get a text back, Barack and Michelle are happily married for over 23 years and giving literally no fucks on yacht. Their biggest problem these days is making sure the iPad focuses right and the lighting is good. And here I am trying to explain to my boyfriend that in order to take a good pic of me in front of the sunset, you have to angle the camera DOWNWARD, not upward displaying my 17 chins. And if you’re wondering, wtf are Barack and Michelle doing alone on a yacht? They are not alone. Because unlike you and the annoying-ass fuckboy you’ve been
getting in public fights with seeing for three months, Barack and Michelle have no shortage of people who want to hang out with them. Their yachting friend group includes billionaire David Geffen, Bruce Springsteen, Tom Hanks, and possibly Oprah. Damn. So let’s get this straight, Barack Obama became the first black president, saved the global financial market from collapse, passed the first meaningful healthcare reform in American history, and is 50% of what may be the best couple of all time?
Honestly, not fair. Next thing I know you’re going to tell me that Malia made it through her whole gap year without ever being ghosted, or that Sasha is actually making it work with Ryan Reynolds (after she turns 18, of course).
Okay, BRB while I start a fight with my boyfriend that I say is about his poor text etiquette but is really just about the fact that we are not Barack and Michelle.