It doesn’t get more iconic than Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan. Just from saying those two names together, I’m instantly transported back to a time of low-rise jeans, tragic hair extensions, and passed-out starlets in the back of cars. Things were simpler back then. While we’ve moved on from the era of Von Dutch trucker hats, not all of the drama has been left in the past. There’s clearly still some bad blood between Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan, and Paris has recently reignited their decade-long feud. I’m obsessed.
On Tuesday night, Paris Hilton was a guest on Watch What Happens Live, and lucky for us, Andy Cohen got her to play Plead the Fifth. If you’re unfamiliar, Andy asks three uncomfortable questions, and you only get to skip one of them. Like a true icon, Paris answered all three of her questions, and the first one nearly made me fall out of my chair. Noting that Paris Hilton recently said she never wants her name spoken in the same sentence as Lindsay Lohan’s (oops, I’ve already done it three times), Andy asked Paris to say three nice things about Lindsay.
Watch what she had to say:
Are you dead? Because I’m dead. In case you didn’t watch, Paris first says that Lindsay is “beyond,” which is probably actually a compliment coming from her. Like, if Paris Hilton tells you that your outfit is “beyond,” you wear that outfit every single day until you die. It’s just the rules. After her first (probably) nice thing, Paris is truly out of good things to say, so she just ditches the assignment and goes with “lame and embarrassing.” You guys! You guys. This is the kind of legendary shade that I live for.
It’s safe to say that things are still pretty rough between Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan (oops, I said their names together again). We were reminded of their feud last summer, when Comments By Celebs found another absolute shady gem from Paris. One of those accounts who posts stuff from 2000s pop culture found a video (most likely from 2006) of Lindsay Lohan speaking to the paparazzi. She first says that Paris just hit her and poured a drink on her at a party, but then she tells the reporters that it never happened, and calls Paris a friend. After that, Lindsay calls Paris a c*nt straight to the camera, and then again insists that she didn’t say it. Lindsay might have changed a lot of things about her life in the last decade, but she has always been delusional.
Paris, always ready to throw the shade, commented “#PathologicalLiar” on the video. Think about that. This account paris2000s resurfaced this video of Lindsay Lohan from more than 10 years prior, and Paris Hilton still made a point to talk sh*t about Lindsay. Honestly, her commitment is inspirational.
In response, Lindsay’s dad Michael Lohan tweeted that Paris should grow up, while also calling her “SAVAGE” and a liar. The Lohan family is so messy that honestly it’s just funny Michael feels he has any room to talk, but I will never turn down a good celebrity feud. Paris Hilton probably never even saw this tweet, because Michael Lohan hasn’t been relevant since…ever?
Please. Grow up. If anyone is a liar it's you Paris
The hotel heiress is SAVAGE. https://t.co/QrfVhwhk8Q via @HuffPostEnt
— Michael Lohan (@MichaelJLohan) July 18, 2018
There’s one more important instance of shade that Paris Hilton has thrown Lindsay’s way. In 2017, she explained to MTV Australia that iconic photos of her going out with Lindsay and Britney Spears aren’t exactly an accurate depiction of what happened. “Actually, it was just Brit and I out, and then Lindsay chased us to the car and got in. She wasn’t invited.” Paris Hilton is channeling the kind of pettiness that I aspire to, and it’s honestly beautiful.
While I love a good petty moment, it’s actually starting to feel like this feud is a little one-sided. Like, Lindsay Lohan is just chilling in Dubai, and unless she’s doing something we don’t know about, like post a cryptic and weird Instagram, maybe Paris should give it a rest? It’s never a good look to be obsessed with your enemy, and Paris Hilton looks a little obsessed right now.
Images: Shutterstock; Watch What Happens Live / YouTube; @commentsbycelebs / Instagram; @michaeljlohan / Twitter