The following is an excerpt from our new book, When’s Happy Hour? Work Hard So You Can Hardly Work, on sale NOW.
For the purposes of this section, let’s categorize job satisfaction in one of three ways: (1) get me the f*ck out of here, (2) I’m down to chill here, and (3) #NeverLeaving. On any given day at your job, you may experience emotions from any of the categories, but whichever reminds you of your feelings toward your job on most days should provide some insight as to whether you’re in the right place.

Get Me The F*ck Out Of Here:

Symptoms include waking up with zero drive or motivation to live; daydreaming about the slow, painful death of your boss and/or co-workers and/or self; feeling a sense of pointlessness or of having nothing to look forward to ever; wishing sincerely that you could switch lives with your dog; frequently crying about/at work; having stress-induced nightmares about your job; questioning whether the job is even worth the ability to pay your rent.

I’m Down To Chill Here:

Most people fall into a situation like this. Your boss is the standard level of annoying sometimes, but your coworkers make the environment better; you want to be paid more, but overall the situation is pretty good; you’re well-liked by the company without trying too hard; there are fun perks that break up the routine sometimes; you feel that you’ll be promoted and given raises over time; the job looks pretty good on your résumé; the stress level is moderate but overall tolerable.

#NeverLeaving:

A hashtag typically applied to honeymoons in the Maldives, this category means your job makes you excited when you think about it; you’re doing something you always wanted to do and feel like you’re good at it; you’re satisfied with your compensation, your coworkers, your boss, etc.; you feel passionate about the actual duties your job entails and like you’re making a difference in the results; you’re growing professionally in a way that aligns with what you want for your life; your job treats you well and gives you time for your personal life.

The beauty of this category system is that each category name tells you exactly what you should do (assuming there are no barriers or other reasons not to do so). If you fall into category 1, look for a new job immediately. If category 2, then stick with it until the situation either starts to become a category 1 or 3 or until you decide you want a new opportunity (or a recruiter emails with a better situation). If you fall into category 3, consider yourself very #blessed. Stick with what you’re doing and seriously invest in your success there.

Want more amazing career advice? Order our new book, you won’t regret it.

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A job interview is your one opportunity to get a real understanding of what your future place of work will be like. Maybe you peek around the corner while you’re walking to the interview room, checking to see if people at the office look like they are functioning members of society, or at the very least, if there are free snacks in the kitchen.

Because this only gives you like, two seconds to scout out where you could be spending literally all your time 9-5, you should probably ask some questions during your interview. At the very least, maybe you can figure out if you’re going to get gray hairs from the stress of working at this salt mine start-up. Or if you’ll be BFFs with your co-workers going to SoulCycle during lunch. Let’s hope for the latter.

Half the time during an interview, questions come at the end. You’ve already spent the last hour answering things like, “tell me about yourself” aka “what the f*ck have you done with your life” and “why do you want to work here” aka “what kind of answers can you come up with, besides the fact that you need the money for rent?” Still, mustering up some sort of energy to show interest will show Susan from HR that you’re the super boss betch we both know you are. And even if you don’t care to find out about the company culture (weird) you like, have to ask questions at the end because you’ll look bad if you have nothing to ask. Here Are the top five questions to ask during an interview. And for more career advice, order our third book, When’s Happy Hour? How To Work Hard So You Can Hardly Work, out now.

1. What Is This Position’s Day-To-Day Like?

This is one of the best questions to ask during an interview to give you a picture of what this job will actually be like. Everyone prefers a different working style. Some love to be social, on the phone all day selling to customers. Others prefer to have their favorite podcast on while diving all analytically into a spreadsheet. Either way, we are modern women knowing what we want. Although some jobs may have a bit of both, understanding what you’re actually going to be doing all day will help you avoid wanting to gauge your eyes out with the pink pen you bought from Paper Source.

2. Who Is Your Ideal Candidate For The Role?

You know that moment at sample sale where you find a f*cking expensive purse at half price? That’s what this question is to you. Gold. Literal gold. Here’s why: this question gives you the opportunity to understand exactly what the hiring manager is looking for in a role. You can then respond with something like, “I love that you mentioned x, y and z capabilities because I feel like my skills really align due to blah blah blah”. This question basically gives you the opportunity to say you are perfect for the job, while using the same language the interviewer is using.

If you only have time to ask one question during an interview, honestly, ask this one. It won’t let you down.

3. What Are The Main Challenges For Someone In This Role And This Industry?

I’m basically just giving you questions to ask during an interview to understand what you will f*cking hate about your job. JK, we’re supposed to *want* to be challenged right?! Rise up to the top and sh*t?!

Understanding what hardships you will face in your job (even if it’s just remembering other people’s complicated af Starbucks orders) will help you decide if this role is even right for you. I know you are desperate to buy those new winter booties (me too), but interviewing should be a two-way street! It’s not all about the money—you really want to think if you’ll be happy in this role, or if you’ll be job hunting in three months because you hate your life.

4. What Is Your Management Style Like?

Have you ever heard the quote, “people don’t leave jobs, they leave managers”? It’s something I wholeheartedly believe. You could be in your dream job, but if you don’t jive with your manager, you will feel more trapped than Kendall Jenner at Fyre Festival. Whether a manager is micro, macro, or just psycho, this question should give you the opportunity to see if whether or not you’re going to be a corporate slave who’s literally never been out of work in time for happy hour.

5. Do You Have Any Reservations With Me Moving Forward In The Process? 

TBH, I’m actually a crazy person and usually leave a takeaway during the job interview. At the very least, ask this question to understand any concerns the interviewer has about moving forward. This ALSO gives you an opportunity to get feedback and know how long you’ll have to wait to see if you got the gig (which I’m sure you did, you baller, you).

If your interviewer does have reservations, take this time to politely object and share that you’d love to learn about any skills you don’t already possess. You know, personal growth and sh*t.

Finally, you should ask about the next steps in the process, this way you’re not harassing the recruiter every week when you haven’t heard back. This will also make you sound eager to move forward, but like, in a good way.

Questions give you the chance to listen and reply back with more information on why you will rock the f*ck out of this job. Answer thoughtfully while listening carefully and you’ll slay your interview so hard, the interviewer won’t even know what hit them. Now who’s ready for happy hour?! Tequila shots on me.

For more career advice, order our book When’s Happy Hour?, out now!

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For more amazing career advice, buy our third book, When’s Happy Hour?

2018 is the time where it’s f*cking cool to be a woman who’s killing it in her field of expertise and living her life. There is no better example of that than Dr. Lara Devgan, a board certified plastic surgeon, the Chief Medical Officer for Real Self, CEO of Scientific Beauty and oh, a mom of six. Casual. Dr. Devgan shared her best tips for work-life balance with us on our When’s Happy Hour podcast. Here are some of her top tricks for getting ahead in your career and living your best life.

Work Hard And Be Patient

Being an “overnight success” is not a real thing. Even Kim K had to work for years to get from sex tape status to cover of Vogue. Dr. Devgan loves the saying that “every overnight sensation is a decade in the making.” You need to be dedicated and patient, because success does not come all at once, especially for us ladies. “As a woman in a male-dominated field, you’re working twice as hard to prove yourself and maybe getting half the credit,” Dr. Devgan explains. She also says that 90% of plastic surgery clients are female, and 90% of plastic surgeons are male. So obviously that’s daunting and not fair. But that’s life. And no one can change it but you. “If you work really hard you’ll be able to change the paradigms that are holding you back,” says Dr. Devgan. If you don’t like the game, change the rules yourself. Besides, Nice Girls never make history.

It’s Okay To Not Have It All

Even someone as successful as Dr. Devgan doesn’t see herself as someone who has it all. In fact, she thinks it’s a totally false concept. “You don’t have it all every minute of your life.” She explains. “You have the things you need overall, but some more at certain times and others more at other times.” Too often, the media makes us think “having it all” comes in this cute little Tiffany box your husband leaves on your bedside table after a hard work week. Like, no. The real world is not black and white. Most women are living between in the grey area of being a supermom and a killer career woman. “The way I reconcile it is that my kids are getting something out of seeing me working. They’re learning things by observing me,” says Dr. Devgan. So, you don’t just get to have everything. As Britney says, you better work, betch. 

But Know That You Can Be Beautiful And Intelligent

There’s a lot of stigma around Dr. Devgan’s field, but she wants every woman to know, “You can be a person of substance and also care about your appearance. Beauty is not a zero-sum game.” Just because you want to be a CEO doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to care about how you look. Society likes to demand us to look a certain way, but then shame those who try to achieve that. Like, what’s wrong with Bella Hadid getting a nose job? There’s legit no winning, so you need to do what makes you feel best. If getting a breast reduction makes you feel beautiful, go for it. Just make sure you do it for you, not the guy in your office who suggested you get some Botox. If you want to be a boss, you have to have confidence. And it’s great to have confidence in the way you look. If you have the ability to change something you don’t like about yourself, go for it.

For more career advice, order our book, When’s Happy Hour?, and check out our When’s Happy Hour podcast. To follow up on Dr. Devgan’s astonishing life, follow her on Instagram.
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So, you wake up one day and realize you’re not in college anymore and off daddy’s bankroll—now what? You actually have to start your life and be a functioning member of society. That’s f*cking terrifying. Jumping into the work world can seem super intimidating… because it is. But you’re a badass betch—you just need to get your sh*t together. To help you, we had Ryan Serhant chat with us on our When’s Happy Hour podcast. Here are his top tricks for being successful even when you don’t know sh*t. And for more advice on how to be successful, pre-order our third book, When’s Happy Hour?, out October 23rd.

Be Yourself

Okay so that sounds really cheesy and something you’d find on a freshman dorm wall, but like, this actually works in the context of selling products or yourself. Ryan notes that a lot of people like to wear the “salesman (or woman, it’s 2018) mask”, but that legit never works. Try and actually make a human connection by being your who you actually are (deep). Introduce yourself to the person, ask how they’re doing, and compliment them (cause who doesn’t like a compliment). Ryan always says, “No one likes to be sold, but everybody loves to go shopping with a friend.” When was the last time you bought something from that creepy guy who stalked you around the shelves of Nordstrom’s? Never. Be friendly and normal-ish, even if it kills you.

Have Confidence

Ryan is stunning, so he hardly ever feels insecure—but would you know when he was? Even if you wake up in the morning feeling like hot garbage, you can’t let anyone know that. “Some people are just good at not showing —and those are the most attractive people because they don’t give a sh*t,” Ryan explains. Another sexy factor? Being smart. Ryan tells us, “Knowledge is the sexiest thing about anybody.” Let me backtrack, though—make sure you’re knowledgeable about your industry. Like, it’s not going to help if you know a sh*t ton about how to roll a joint when you’re working for an investment banking firm.

Do Your Research

Being smart also doesn’t come from just sitting on your ass, drinking wine, and petting your dog (I wish). You have to actually put an effort in. Ryan says that’s what can really get you ahead in your career: “you just have to do the work, which most people don’t want to do.” People in the industry for 10 years longer than you rely on their experience, which you clearly don’t have, so you have to work twice as f*cking hard to show them up. Research everything you could possibly need to know about the product you’re selling or place you’re interviewing for. You never want to be stuck on a question or have to think about it. Your ability to be smart AF and whip out the facts faster than you whip out rosé on a Friday will make people trust you.

Learn To Network

Okay just seeing the word “network” makes me slightly vomit in my mouth. But you kind of have to suck it up and do it. Ryan assures us, though, it’s not as scary as you think. His favorite method for reaching out to people is through social media (duh). “If there’s a client or developer I want to meet, I don’t just go through email. I follow them on Twitter or DM them through Instagram, or see what they’re doing on Facebook,” Ryan says. Once you’ve found someone you’re interested in learning from, send them a nice message and keep it professional. Tell them you’re a fan of their work, pat the ego. Offer to buy them coffee to ask them a few questions. They might be rich, but who doesn’t love free sh*t? Point is­: kiss their ass and prove you’re worth their time, bringing us to our next point…

Always Offer Something Of Value

If you’re meeting with a potential client or boss or asking for a raise, make sure you have something to offer. Yeah, you can say you work hard, but that’s like, what you’re actually supposed to do. You’re not meant to pass out on a Tuesday at your desk, Jennifer. Tell them how great you are at what you do and share your experiences, but keep it to strictly work experiences. A huge pet peeve of Ryan’s is when someone tries to get their way with a sob story. Nobody f*cking cares. Negotiating by making it about yourself on diminishes the value of your work.

For more tips on how to f*cking kill it in the work world, listen to our When’s Happy Hour podcast below!

And pre-order our book, conveniently also titled When’s Happy Hour. For more of Ryan, check out his new show Sell It Like Serhant.

Want more honest career advice other than things you should never put on your resume? Pre-order our third book, When’s Happy Hour? out October 23rd!

While you’re climbing up the ladder to boss betchdom, at some point you’ll probably have to apply for a job. Unless you’re planning on pulling an Elle Woods and sharing a borderline pornographic classy bikini pic of yourself to get noticed, you’ll have to create a badass resume. The worst feeling, (yes, worse than finding out Colton is the new Bachelor #teampeter4ever), is applying for a job online, only to get a rejection letter 24 hours later.

Us betches *should* be good at resumes. I mean, we’re really good at bragging talking about our accomplishments, so shouldn’t we be good at putting it all on paper? Not always. If you want to avoid this rejection that vaguely reminds you of all of your middle school years, I got you. I’ve compiled all the things you should never put on your resume. I see a crack in that glass ceiling already.

1. An Objective

As much as you want to f*cking yell your lifelong career goals (a corner office, a Rachel Green approved hot assistant, millions of Instagram followers), adding an objective statement to your resume will not do you any good. It’s not only as outdated as your pink RAZR flip phone (RIP), it also can corner you into a career path completely irrelevant to the job your applying for.

The best thing you can do within your resume is SHOW how your past experience will relate to a future role, specifically the role you are applying to. We’d recommend including numbers, results and specific examples of your past success. That will be the best example of why you should be chosen for a job.

2. Your Age Or GPA

Although you’re obsessively taking collagen and sneaking off to Botox appointments during lunch, your work is one place where you don’t want to seem young. I mean, it’s great—flattering even—if during happy hour the bartender needs to check your ID. But on your resume, you DON’T want someone wondering if their future employee is even legal.

As depressing as this is going to sound to all you college students unless you’re in some sort of academic career, no one gives a sh*t about your grades after college. So you can skip class today and start drinking like you wanted to anyway.

Instead, fill your resume with work experience and something an employer can relate to, not an arbitrary number that could have been given out because you liked to wink at your dreamy TA. At least, that was my strategy for getting good grades.

3. Irrelevant Work Experience

…If I had a penny for every f*cking time someone told me to say “relevant”…I’d literally be Kim K. But we’re not in the Kardashian clan (just obsessively watching them) which means we have to be really good at staying *relevant*, and here’s why.

When a recruiter or hiring manager is reading your resume, you want them to be able to picture you in the role. This means leaving off your high school babysitting jobs (although I’m sure those kids were a ton of work). Keep your resume experience related to whatever job you’re applying to. If you really want to be the overachieving betch I know you are, use buzzwords from the job description online and insert them into your resume. You’ll be so much more relevant (trying not to vom, but it’s TRUE).

If this is your first job or you’re switching industries, no problem. Find times in the experience you do have (like internships, school projects) where you did work most relatable to the job you are applying for. Worst case, show that you can be a proactive leader—capable of having at least some sort of responsibility and not just keeping your Postmates app active so you can order Taco Bell.

4. Typos

This is the time where I tell you to go over your resume with a fine-tooth comb. Send it to your sugar daddy, your real daddy, your baby daddy…whoever, and catch all those pesky little spelling errors. No one is ever going to trust you to write an email on their behalf, let alone handle any sort of responsibility, if you have written mistakes in your resume. This is supposed to be your *good* first impression.

Believe me, this is coming from the girl who literally almost didn’t graduate college because she couldn’t pass a grammar test (true story), and somehow I was able to find tools to post this article mistake-free (have you ever heard of the internet?!), so I’m pretty sure you can figure out how to do this too.

5. A Second Page

Unless you’re a f*cking CEO, make your resume a clean single page. No one has time to read that much about you—sorry not sorry—you’re not *that* special. You literally might be the future Kanye of our generation, but your future employer doesn’t know that yet.

This means putting the most recent, impressive experience on your resume. Think of it like the thirst trap pictures you post of yourself on Instagram rather than the ones your Aunt Judy tagged of you on Facebook. Instead of focusing on just putting a sh*t ton of experience on your resume, focus on what you did in those experiences. Did you drive any sort of success in the role? Did you create something new? Are there numbers to back it up?! You’ll seem like a way more impressive betch if you include recent experience where you made an impact. Rather than a ton of random experience that doesn’t showcase your skills.

6. Your Salary Requirement

Even though you permanently imagine a rose gold pedestal underneath your feet at all times, don’t make this clear in your resume. In reality, we’re all basically begging for a job so we can afford another $25 cocktail at the trendiest spot. I have no doubt that at some point you’ll be able to demand millions, but today is not that day. Keep the salary discussions to in person and you’ll be good to go.

I can’t wait to see the big things you do with your new and improved resume. I’m pretty sure you’ll have employers literally sucking your d*ck, calling you nonstop to come interview with them. Just promise me you’ll put the name “boss betch” outside your corner office one day. Oh, and send me a personal thank you note.

Don’t forget to pre-order our THIRD book, When’s Happy Hour? now! It’s all the real career advice you won’t get from like, your guidance counselor.