Over the weekend, whether you were too afraid to rejoin society after lockdown or you were forced back into lockdown because people went HAM and your city saw a resurgence of Covid cases, chances are you might’ve come across the new Baby-Sitters Club series on Netflix Family. Though the series was originally intended for a children’s audience, millennials and xennials on my Twitter and IG feeds have also found themselves binging the show. This wholesome content is exactly the nostalgia we’ve all been longing for in a difficult year, and if you haven’t watched it yet, do yourself a favor and head to Netflix.
So what better way to continue that comforting break from reality than to celebrate the iconic series and its characters by asking yourself the simple question of “What does your favorite Baby-Sitters Club character say about you?” None.
Did somebody order a control freak? Kristys (Kristies?) are currently stewing over the fact that their 2020 planner has barely seen any action and spend their days in quarantine crafting the perfect itinerary for working from home. You’re not the best with change, but that’s mostly because things don’t sit well with you if you’re not able to run the show and be in complete control. That being said, you are a natural leader and you do your best to lead with love. Your friends are your people and you always show up for them. Like the Mom of the group, you’re reliable and when people need something done you’re the one they have on speed dial.
Claudias are the fiercest, most artistic of the bunch. Never afraid to speak your mind, people naturally flock to your confident attitude and effortless style. You will definitely be voted mostly likely to have a future as an #influencer with a roster of Pinterest-worthy DIYs and sustainable capsule collections. Family means everything to you, though it can be frustrating when your family isn’t as open to your free spirit as your friends and fans. You’re a considerate friend who always has a purse full of snacks, encourages others to explore their creativity, and your attention to detail in your art and for the people you care about never goes unnoticed.
Ahhh boy-crazy Stacey. On the outside, you give off the vibes of a Real Housewife in the making, when deep down you’re still just trying to figure yourself out (admittedly, most of the Housewives are too). While you worry a ton about what others may think, you try your best to not let your insecurities get the best of you. In reality, all you’re trying to do is find genuine connections in this world, and that goes for friends, romance, and family. You sometimes struggle with living up to your parents’ ridiculous expectations, but you know that at the end of the day they’ve got your back. So keep reminding yourself of that and surrounding yourself with friends and boos who do too.
Mary Annes are either a future therapist’s dream or have a successful future as a therapist. Never one to rock the boat, you’re always listening and taking in everyone else’s energy. By nature you’re a people pleaser, though one should never mistake your kindness for weakness. You’re still learning to find your voice and develop independence from who you think you should be for everyone else and who you actually want to be. And while you’re still evolving your personality and style, you never discount the value of a solid pair of overalls and you can always be counted on to be there for your friends with an ear to listen and a shoulder to cry on.
A spiritual goddess, Dawns are optimistic and always look at the glass as half-full—even when the cards they’ve been dealt haven’t always been the best hand. You might have been forced to grow up quickly and play the role of caregiver or authority in your family. And instead of feeling sorry for yourself, you lean into those skills and excel with purpose. Whether it’s educating yourself and taking your efforts beyond performative allyship or leading a guided meditation to calm everyone’s nerves, you are not only happy to be a part of the group but truly want everyone to see just how wonderful and badass they can be in their own right too.
An honorable mention for Kristy’s soon-to-be step-sister Karen because let’s face it, it’s been a tough year for Karens. Whether we admit it or not, every single friend group has a Karen. Karens can be dramatic and have a tendency to overreact when really all they are is starved for attention. They genuinely believe they mean well, though it often comes out in problematic and extreme ways, like idk, running away at camp or fearmongering over conspiracy theories. And while Karens still admittedly have room to grow and mature, one thing is for sure—if they like you they’ll defend you to the extreme and you’ll always get that impossible restaurant reservation even if you’re just walking in.
Images: Jesse Austin (5), Kailey Schwerman/Netflix; Giphy
I’ve always been the kind of person who’s super into any kind of shit that explains personalities. Whether it’s astrology, numerology, or the results of a fucking BuzzFeed quiz, I live for any information that pinpoints why people act the way they do. (It’s because my natal planet positions include Jupiter in Scorpio. Or because the legendary Elle Woods “we’re both Gemini vegetarians” quote really resonated with me at a young age. Or I’m just a narcissist. Who knows!) Anyway, I’m basically ready to throw all my star charts and psychology books away, because I’ve discovered that there’s really only one guide to truly understanding a person, and that’s a Bitmoji analysis. With the latest Snapchat updates, Bitmojis are a seriously integral aspect of daily life. Like, your Bitmoji probably gets more face time than you do. It’s not just a customized cartoon, it’s the single most representation of your entire life and soul. *Kourtney Kardashian voice* You can learn everything you need to know about someone by looking at their Bitmoji. I mean, obviously, your Bitmoji is going to be a little bit prettier than you. That’s expected. However, if your Bitmoji is way blonder, tanner and significantly thinner than you, you’re clearly out of touch with reality. On the other hand, if your Bitmoji is a carbon copy of you, you’re probably fucking hilarious and someone I’d like to drunkenly make brunch plans with in the bathroom of a club. But the biggest clue is your Bitmoji’s outfit. Here’s what your Bitmoji’s outfit and styling says about you.
Your Bitmoji Is Wearing Something From Forever 21
Choosing a Bitmoji outfit from Forever 21 is the exact same as choosing a real outfit from Forever 21. You tried on everything else in every other store in the mall, and now you’re supposed to start getting ready in an hour so you grab the first thing you see that doesn’t have a slice of pizza screen printed on the back out of sheer desperation. It’s not the worst thing you’ve ever worn, but it’s definitely not your first, second, or third choice in the grand scheme of life.
Your Bitmoji Is Dressed In Something Practical
I’ve literally never seen anyone actually use any of the practical Bitmoji outfits, which is probably because all of my Snapchat friends are still posting Snap stories of a bunch of drunk betches screaming Bieber in the back of an Uber. If your Bitmoji has a suit on, you’re way too uptight and need to pop a Xanax immediately.
Your Bitmoji Is Rocking Activewear
When in doubt, athleisure is always a great choice. It’s just such a shame that in Bitmoji world, you have to wear the generic version of Skechers Shape Ups.
Your Bitmoji Is Wearing Your Work Uniform
If your Bitmoji is in scrubs and your actual job is a nurse, you probably take your job too seriously. In this instance, it’s actually okay because it’s a really good way to avoid having to wear any of the other horrendous Bitmoji outfits.
Your Bitmoji Is Wearing A Bitmo-Tee
In the real world, graphic tees are such a slippery slope. They’re either brilliantly hilarious (like ours, hi) or absolutely cringeworthy, and there’s really no in between. In Bitmoji world, all graphic tees are major red flags. If your Bitmoji is wearing a graphic tee, you probably still think it’s okay to Instagram screenshots of motivational quotes you found on Pinterest and you need to be stopped.
Your Bitmoji Is Dressed For The Club
You’d probably never wear this outfit in real life, but you want your Bitmoji to tell the world that you’re prepared to turn up at a moment’s notice. All of the clubwear options are a little bit too Instagram model-y for everyday situations, like when your Bitmoji is enthusiastically sipping coffee on a Monday morning, but it’s definitely not the worst option.
Your Bitmoji Has A Costume On
If your Bitmoji is dressed as a fucking cupcake, you need to reel it in. Like, we get it. You do drugs and listen to a lot of EDM.
Your Bitmoji Is Keeping It Casual
In real life, all of the casual Bitmoji outfits would scream Pinterest mom. In Bitmoji world, they’re kind of the only truly safe bet. If your Bitmoji is in something casual, you’ve given up on trying to find a cartoon outfit that you’d actually wear because you have better shit to do. (Or complain about, and not actually do.)