So, your friend is having a baby, like, on purpose. Mazel! Naturally, you’ll be attending all the amazing parties for her and her spawn-to-come, from sip-and-sees to baby showers. But wtf does one wear to such an event? This may be your first baby-related celebration, so you want to look nice. But club attire isn’t appropriate, and you can’t rewear the same outfit you wore to her bridal shower (it’s the same people, and it’s already on Instagram).
Here are a few of our favorite outfits you can wear while pretending to support your friend not drinking for nine months.
Sézane Isidore Dress
Unlike weddings, you can totally wear white to baby showers. Since many showers are set for brunch or early afternoon, you also can wear this little number from Sézane in white without worrying about spilling red wine all over yourself. (No guarantees about mimosas, though.) Is this what adulthood feels like?
Ann Taylor Cozy Mockneck Sweater Dress
Do you want to blend in, be cozy, and hope to fade into the background of this shower without anyone asking you to hold a child or—gasp—when you’re hatching your own? Grab this sweater dress from Ann Taylor which looks and feels tailored, but is sooo comfy.
J.Crew Tiered Ruffle Maxi Beach Dress
Yes, it’s technically a beach dress, but this number in bright orangey red from J.Crew is festive, light, and perfect for an afternoon party. Plus, after the baby shower you can throw this on over a bathing suit and wear it during the summer.
H&M Crêped Dress
Do you really want to wear black to this baby shower but realize that that’d be like, not the vibe? This dress is your way out. It’s dark and muted, but it totally has a retro floral working to show everyone how fun and festive you are. Plus, a babydoll dress like this will allow you to eat your weight in canapés without having to suck in your gut.
ASOS JDY Midi Shirt Dress In Floral Print
God, we love a shirtdress. This one is perfect for early spring, when it’s definitely not warm enough for short sleeves just yet. The teal and pink floral combo makes it super adaptable in terms of accessories, and, although we wouldn’t necessarily wear sneakers with it, we feel like everything from flats to heels to sandals work with this.
ASOS Closet London Kimono Sleeve Midi Dress In Blush
Is your bougie friend having a bougie baby shower? Maybe it’s a high tea at a fancy spot in Midtown or an early dinner at a nice restaurant. Although that seems a little out of the norm for a shower, if you need something more on the fancy side, this dress from ASOS fits the bill. It’s modest, looks amazing with heels, and—bonus points—it’s pink if your bestie is having a girl.
Spell & The Gypsy Collective Amethyst Shirred Sundress
Thank you, Revolve, for keeping us fashionable regardless of the occasion. This floral off-the-shoulder dress is breezy enough for morning but cool enough to go into the early afternoon. It’s a little on the fancier side, but you could definitely repurpose this sh*t for a dreaded morning wedding, should you be so unlucky as to be invited to one.
Eliza J Faux Wrap Crop Jumpsuit
Are you cool enough to rock a jumpsuit? Of f*cking course you are! This green number from Nordstrom is super cute and polished, and can be accessorized with a chunky necklace and your disgust for all things kid-related. Plus, the color works for a trendy morning outing or late afternoon shower.
J.Crew Factory Tie-Waist Shirtdress
Finally, if you aren’t normally a fancy betch and don’t want to spend a ton of time or money on a dress you may or may not wear again, just cut your losses and snag this chambray dress that can be dressed up, dressed down, or thrown on the floor in a fit of rage, because honestly babies are exhausting.
Images: Jacob Lund / Shutterstock.com; Sezane; Ann Taylor; J.Crew; H&M; ASOS (2); Revolve; Nordstrom (2)
Betches may receive a portion of revenue if you click a link and purchase a product or service. The links are independently placed and do not influence editorial content.
Since everyone seems to have all of the sudden decided to like, grow up and get married and sh*t, I feel like my whole life has become one never-ending bachelorette party. And, although it may sound fun, anyone who’s been to a bachelorette party knows it’s actually the opposite. I mean, yes, it is fun in the beginning, but at this point I don’t know how many more penis straws and tacky group tees I can wear before I just have to end all of these friendships and call it a day. Not to mention, all of these bachelorette parties are expensive af. Between the plane tickets, gifts, and weekend’s wardrobe, I can barely afford groceries anymore. And like, wtf do I wear to all of these bachelorette parties??? Well, I can’t stop people from inviting you to these countless bachelorette weekends. Cause like, you’re just sooo popular. But, I can at least help you pack for them. To help make these weekends a bit more bearable, here are four essential and versatile pieces to pack for every bachelorette party.
1. Bodysuits
Free People Fair and Square Neck Bodysuit
Regardless of whether the bachelorette party is in Charleston or Vegas, you definitely want to pack a few bodysuits for the trip. More specifically, pack one bodysuit that’s “clubby” and one that’s casual. Ya know, one that just looks cute with a pair of jeans. Look, just because you don’t think you’re necessarily going to be hitting up “da club” doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have a hot bodysuit in your arsenal. It’s a bachelorette party, so, regardless of the location, you can expect that your fellow attendees will be bringing some more scandalous outfits. I mean, you have to remember that this is a BIG weekend, especially for your non-single friends. They will be bringing their “A” game, so don’t let your sad, single self be outdone by all the girls in your group who are already wifed up.
2. High Waisted Jeans
AGOLDE Remy High Rise Straight
A great pair of high waisted jeans is a must for a bachelorette weekend. There’s always one Type-A friend in the group who has the entire itinerary for the weekend planned out from start to finish. Whatever group activity she has in the itinerary, you’ll be glad to have a great pair of jeans with you. I’d recommend bringing either a black pair or a dark-wash skinny, because these styles can most easily be both dressed up or dressed down. And I would DEF make sure they’re high waisted because one thing that’s for certain is that all these activities are guaranteed to have a lot of drinking. And you know, just as well as I do, after a few days of binge drinking, you’re going to be happy af that your pants are high waisted.
3. Jumpsuits
Like I said, regardless of the strict itinerary you’re required to participate in, one thing’s for sure is that there’s going to be a lot of drinking at every bachelorette party you attend. And after a day of boozy brunches, the last thing you’re going to want to do is have to put an outfit together for the night out. A great jumpsuit is the perfect solution for this #firstworldproblem. It’s a full outfit in itself, and therefore doesn’t require any additional effort. I recommend bringing one that’s flattering and forgiving because, like I said, with all that drinking, you’re probs going to be bloated af. The one’s I’ve selected have a tie-waist bow belt which is perfect for hiding the night prior’s drunk pizza bloat. These ones also have cropped bottoms, which make them ideal for any occasion. This way, if you want to wear it for something more daytime casual, you could easily pair it with a cute pair of sneakers. Or, if it’s for going out, pair it with some heels.
4. Casual Dress
UO Mallory Cowl Neck Slip Dress
House of Harlow x Revolve 1960 Daphne Dress
Just like a jumpsuit makes for an easy outfit, so does a casual dress. A casual dress is practical and easy because again, it can be dressed up or down. Sensing a pattern here? Great, you’re onto something! Your bachelorette weekend wardrobe should be versatile so that it’s flexible for any foreseeable event, occasion, or activity. So, in the event you’re just going to a local dive bar, you can wear one of these casual dresses without looking extra. For example, wear the red one over a graphic tee, or the pale blue one with cute sneakers. And, if you’re lucky enough that the HBIC actually reserved a bottomless brunch at the Gansevoort Hotel, you’re good to go.
Regardless of whether you’re going somewhere actually cool, or somewhere you’re unenthusiastic about spending this month’s rent on a plane ticket for, you’ll be good to go if you pack these four essential pieces. I also realize I have a lot of red on this list. So do yourself a favor and just verify that the bride-to-be isn’t planning on wearing red before you purchase. Idk, just a thought.
Images: @nandafns / Unsplash; Revolve (5); Free People; South Moon Under; Urban Outfitters
Betches may receive a portion of revenue if you click a link and purchase a product or service. The links are independently placed and do not influence editorial content.
I’ve never been an “America, fuck yeah” type of person, but if there’s an unhealthy amount of Bud Light, fireworks, and drunken swimming involved, fuck yeah, you can count me in. Even if it means pretending I know how old America is (it’ll be 241 years old, btw, not 2,017 I just Googled it to be sure, idiot). Since I barely remember what the Declaration of Independence is—like sorry, I don’t even remember last night—I’ll resort to wearing a semi-patriotic outfit just for this one day. I respect all of the time and effort people have put in to give us greedy Americans like, the rules of feminism, the right to basically live, and all that shit, so I’m not going to dress like a wannabe slutty Wonder Woman.
Looking at you, Lady Gaga and Beyoncé…
Yeah uh…that’s def not what Betsy Ross had in mind when she designed the American flag. You want to be trashed, not look like trash. This means do not wear your sorority/fave fraternity’s stars and stripes letters, a denim skirt that might show your vag, or a muscle tank that screams white trash. You don’t want a passive-aggressive Facebook status written about you, do you? And if you’re thinking of wearing an American flag bikini, you’re dead to me. Since it’s basically only a week away and we need to keep online shipping in mind, here’s what you should wear for America’s birthday bash if you don’t want the Founding Fathers to regret starting America in the first place.
1. L’AGENCE Cynthia Off The Shoulder Top
You don’t want to get a really dressy shirt for outdoorsy shit, i.e. day drinking and barbecuing, but you don’t want anything too casual either. This white top is perfect for tucking into your favorite high waisted denim shorts and since it’s not plastered with America, you can wear it multiple times a year. It’s classy with a hint of slutty since it’s form-fitting and slightly revealing. You’ll probs be drinking from day to night so the long sleeves will keep you warm if it gets chilly.
2. Topshop Flag Ripped Mom Shorts
Flag themed shorts are cute (I guess) since they show how much you love America, but they can also be worn to other events like all those cheesy country festivals. The length of these shorts in particular is pretty ideal because they don’t show your ass cheeks (no one wants to see them anyway, honestly). But I can’t say you won’t be lectured by your grandparents because like, how dare you wear the flag on your butt. Let me live.
3. Lovers + Friends Ocean Tides One Piece
Sport a versatile one piece swimsuit if swimming, or pretending to, is on the agenda for festivities. Wear a solid color without looking over-the-top and desperate like Taylor Swift. Pair with your fave high rise denim shorts to easily take your look to and from the water.
4. Paper London Treacle Dress
If you’re beaching it in the Hamptons or somewhere equally classy AF, wear this trendy day dress with nude wedges or low heel sandals—no stilettos or 6 inch pumps because you’re not trying to stumble around all night. It comes in black and white stripes, but who the hell can tell the difference? Just tell everyone it’s navy blue and call it a day.
5. Aldo Lolla Block Heels
Whether you’re strolling in and out of bars or embarrassing yourself at a family gathering on the Fourth, you’ll want shoes that look like you put in some sort of effort, but that won’t make you uncomfortable and have you make a fool out of yourself (although you’ll probably do that already). Use this block heel for your pop of white with any outfit you decide on. Plus, you’ll be gaining another pair of cute shoes that you can wear out again.
6. Charming Charlie Uncle Sam Choker Necklace Set
Accessorize with these fun, simple chokers you can wear all together or mix and match. Wearing shit on your head makes you look like a try-hard and/or unnecessarily extra. Pair with a red lip and you’re set to get star, spangled, hammered in style.
7. Waving American Flag Pool Float
Lastly, to guarantee those triple likes on Insta, make sure to do a sexual pose with a (v extra) waving American flag pool float, but without going full Ariel Winter. Cheers to living in a free country that’s obsessed with quality fast food and shit. May your hand always be holding a beer because like, ‘Merica.
Okay, it’s finally Friday and I am way overdue for six a gin and tonic since I haven’t had a drink in 5ever (Okay, since like, last Saturday but, who’s counting?). Here’s my struggle to which every slutty drunk can relate: Every time I go out and I know I’m not coming home (because it happens more often than not tbh), I feel like I look like Lindsay Lohan circa early 2000’s or a wannabe Damian Leigh in the morning. Amy Poehler, I’m pointing at you.
^With shitty sunglasses and makeup running down my face like psycho Taylor Swift and all. There is no in-between.
So, I’ve decided I need to ~fluff off the excess to find my center~ by wearing things that are both acceptable in a nightclub and for a V hungover Sunday morning walk back home.
Here is some outfit inspo for your next outing that says you’re totally DTF by night, but you’re a calm, cool, and collected woman by day. Your roommate, mother, and priest can thank me later!
1. Shirt Dress
It’s a shirt! It’s a dress! Nope, it’s a shirt dress which happens to be the most comfortable and sexiest thing your closet should contain by now.
Shirt and Sweet Blue Chambray Shirt Dress
Nothing says “I’m ready for you” like a round of tequila shots and a button-down dress that can easily be taken off later just as fast as it can be put on in the AM.
Pair it with strappy heels or wedges, a trendy crossbody, and throw on some sunglasses in there while you’re at it, because that’s going to be your disguise the next morning. Are you going to brunch? For a walk in the park? Coming back from your 3am booty call’s house? No one will ever know.
2. Basic Black Jumpsuit
Here’s the thing with jumpsuits: You can wear them to work, you can wear them to dinner, you can wear them to the bar, you can wear them to church if you wanted to. Basically, they’re fucking perfect because you can literally do anything with them. And wait, it gets better. You don’t even have to wear heels with it if you’re like me and can only last, like, two minutes without complaining.
Throw a denim or leather jacket over this for an edgy flair, slip on your flats, grab a choker, and call the girls because you are ready to par-taaaay and STILL look good decent when you wake up.
3. The Cutest Effing Shirt Anyone Has Ever Seen
Grab the most showstopping shirt you own and wear it with those jeans your butt looks good in (yes, jeggings will work). Accessorize the shit out of it with those Y-Necklaces everyone is wearing nowadays and some Valentino Rockstud pump lookalikes.
Endless Rose Cold Shoulder Top
Not only do you look hot AF to drop it low, but you’re even dressed remotely appropriate to GTFO when you wake up the next morning in someone else’s bed. What if you bump into someone you know when you shadily dip? Just tell them you’re going to church or synagogue or Pizza Hut or whatever your house of worship is. They won’t even ask you twice.
4. Semi-Slutty Maxi Dress
You can wear a maxi dress out to a bar without looking like Vanessa Hudgens at Coachella, but only if the dress is kind of bodycon without being in-your-face about it. Opt for a ribbed maxi dress in a casual material like jersey (in black, duh) for a going out look that says “sophisticated, with a hint of slutty” and a morning after look that says “I just like to dress cute for brunch because I don’t even eat that much.”
Enza Costa Ribbed Tank Maxi Dress
5. Small Wedges
Let’s get real. All the outfit planning in the world won’t help you if you’re walking down the street at 10am like Bambi in some 6-inch stilettos. Footwear is an often overlooked, but nonetheless essential, aspect of the hoe life. Opt for a small wedge, that way you won’t feel like a child—or worse, a nicegirl—at the bar, and you’ll still avoid the aforementioned Baby Deer Learning To Walk Syndrome.
Style these with your best “Do Not Approach Me” glare and you have my blessings. Go forth and thot.
