Sephora’s Weekly Wow Has This Amazing Face Cleanser For Only $12 + Other Incredible Finds

Shit has been hitting the fan this past week and I can barely keep up with it all. I mean, there’s a new iPhone, a Mean Girls musical, and I just can’t keep up with all of my fave shows coming back this fall. It’s all first world problems too stressful. Lord knows I need a drink, or like, six so the fact that it’s also pay week makes it even better. You’d think I’d focus on using my newly acquired funds for adult things like paying rent and dry cleaning an overwhelming amount of clothes, but my financial obligations lie with better things such as buying more makeup. Obviously. It’s a good thing that 1) Sephora exists, and 2) the Weekly Wow sale falls on Thursday. For the third consecutive time, all of the makeup you probs dream about is $15 and under this week, so get to piling up your cart with these ah-maze products. 

Big Deal Alert

1. Tarte Lights, Camera, Lashes 4-in-1 Mascara

As if you couldn’t catch a hint from the name, this mascara does everything you could ever want from a little tube. Fuck a 2-in-1, it’s 2017 so a 4-in-1 sounds more like it. It lengthens, volumizes, conditions, *and* curls your lashes all at the same time, so it’s a good thing no one uses a lash curler anymore. The formula sounds legendary given that it promises bomb af lashes by “330 percent.” If you’re still having doubts, it’s also vegan so you’ll feel even even better about buying something that’s like, good for the earth and all the little birdies and the little monkeys.

Tarte Lights, Camera, Lashes 4-in-1 Mascara

2. LANCÔME Juicy Shaker

If there’s anything betches love more than most people dogs, it’s good makeup and a strong drink. Combine the two, and you have this godsend of a creation: a literal cocktail shaker for a lip gloss. All you have to do is shake this a few times as you would if you made a hump day treat. The blend of v nourishing oils soothe and hydrate your lips, while the intense pigment provides the perf pop of color. Together, you have poppin’ lips, no fillers required. 

Lancome Juicy Shaker

3. First Aid Beauty Face Cleanser

Oh my god, finally a face wash that doesn’t make your face feel like fucking sandpaper. This face cleanser kind of feels like whipped cream so it’s obvs super soft and retains your skin’s natural oils, which is v necessary when temperatures get colder. It washes off all of the city pollution your face endures on a daily basis and removes your makeup way better than Neutrogena wipes.

First Aid Face Cleanser

Read: The Best Foundations For Acne Prone Skin To Cover Up & Treat Pimples At The Same Time
Sephora’s Weekly Wow Sale Has Half Off The Philosophy & Urban Decay Products You’ve Been Dying For

Finally, the best day of the week has arrived. It’s Thirsty Thursday, Friday Eve, whatever the hell you call it, and most importantly, it’s another Sephora Weekly Wow. Halle-FUCKING-lujah. If you don’t know WTF I’m talking about, you probably live under a rock don’t have internet??? The event for anyone that’s beauty-obsessed (so like, all of us) is Sephora’s new weekly sale that selects products to be 50 percent off. The deal only lasts for seven days, or until inconsiderate bitches buy it all (which happens more often than not). Anyone with a sense of time knows a week is not that long, so I normally would advise against camping outside or anything dramatic, but again, a betch has to do what a betch has to do if it means grabbing that palette you’ve been eyeing for half off. I’m just saying, desperate times call for desperate measures. If you missed out on the last two sales, I’m honestly concerned here’s to hoping third time’s the charm. I got the hot gossip on this week’s goodies so, call an Uber and hustle to your nearest Sephora—or better yet, just get to online shopping, loser.

Jessica Simpson Shopping

^^^Jessica Simpson is me. I am Jessica Simpson.

1. Urban Decay Naked Smoky Palette

There are no ifs, ands, or buts about it. The limit does not exist for how many Naked palettes you can have, especially when one is literally 50 percent off. That one being the most essential for next season and all the “let’s get fucked up” festivities it involves. Create the Insta-worthy smoky eye you’ve been trying to achieve since like, 8th grade with this palette’s 12 irresistible shades and variety of finishes. From ~nudes~ to stunning grays to our beloved black, each shade is infused with top-notch ingredients to keep it smooth af for easy, breezy, beautiful blendability. Plus, the case features a full-size mirror and double-ended brush to make it easier to perfect your slutty smoky look.

Urban Decay Naked Palette

2. SMASHBOX Step-By-Step Contour Kit

A contour kit for dummies is essentially what I need this is. This palette comes in two colors, Light/Medium or Medium/Dark, with three custom shades to define, bronze, and highlight for a natural-looking sculpted face. Natural is the key word here, so be sure to choose the color that looks best with your skin tone so you don’t up looking like a ratchet wannabe Kim K Aubrey O’Day. See:


Not only does it come with a full step-by-step guide “for all levels” (sooo if you’ve never heard of blending…), but it also comes with an angled brush for seamless application.

Smashbox Contour Kit

3. Philosophy Hope In A Jar

This is the holy grail of all moisturizers ever. Hope In A Jar basically speaks for itself in the sense that it truly holds the key to looking young and healthy forever in its little container. This lightweight moisturizer gently exfoliates your face by removing dead skin cells and reverses all the effects that stumbling home and passing out with your makeup on had on your skin. Yes, there is still hope for us.

Philosophy Hope In A Jar

4. Philosophy Renewed Hope In A Jar SPF 30

So like, take everything I just said above and add in a broad-spectrum SPF 30 to protect yo’ face from sun rays that cause wrinkles, uneven texture, scarring, and oh yeah, SKIN CANCER. The moisturizer smooths out your skin and provides long lasting hydration so you feel and look like a glowing goddess.

Philosophy Renewed Hope In A Jar SPF 30

5. Philosophy Renewed Hope In A Jar Dry

Okay, I know this is beginning to sound redundant, but unlike the 100 seasons of Pretty Little Liars, I promise the more they create of these, the better they get. This formula takes on a new twist with ingredients specifically made for dry AF skin types. 

Hanna Pretty Little Liars

Ugh, bless. So with all that damage the sun caused your skin this summer, you’ll need this extra hydrating moisturizer so you don’t feel like Hanna here ^. Infused with long-ass words I can’t pronounce and don’t feel like typing along with some “Asian fruits,” this formula promises a glow that’ll last all day long.

Philosophy Renewed Hope In A Jar Dry