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The weekend is here, the weather isn’t horrible, people are getting vaccinated, and maybe, just maybe, there’s some light at the end of the this long, sh*tty tunnel. Idk about you, but the prospect of going on vacation or lying on a beach is really starting to appeal to me. Don’t get me wrong, I love social distancing and telling strangers to step back every chance I get. I’ll probably do it for the rest of my life. It just might be nice to do that in a different location, you know? Anyway, here’s what the stars predict for you this weekend.
Aries
Work from home on Friday so you can be ready to tear sh*t up Saturday and Sunday. The moon is playing nice this weekend, so plan to make big changes—from your curtains, to your hair, to your attitude about your job. Whether you do better tackling large life feelings and changes alone or with friends is up to you—just be ready to be in your existential feelings about who you are and wtf you’re doing.
Taurus
Emotional rollercoasters ahead, Taurus. Plan to spend some time powering down this weekend and reconnecting with nature, since your moods are about to be all over the f*cking place. Maybe try journaling under a tree, or relaxing in a hammock, or getting blackout at a winery. You do you. Just prepare for the the onslaught of emotions.
Gemini
The Aries moon is making you feel a little off this weekend, Gemini, so don’t be surprised if you’re extra touchy, sensitive, or snappy around friends and fam. Plan on using Saturday to quietly clean or watch a bunch of murder docs. Sunday can be for catching up on work emails, laying in the sun, and spending quality time with your dog.
Cancer
Get out, enjoy the weather, and live a little, Cancer. This weekend the moon is actually making decent moves for you, and you’ll be the center of attention and the life of the party wherever you end up. Host a grill-centric dinner party Saturday with a few close friends, or plan on morning brunch with your besties Sunday. Just make sure you get a good amount of rest, relaxation, and play in; this next work week is going to blow.
Leo
Energy is your middle name this weekend, Leo. You’re going to want to tackle all the things, from deep cleaning your apartment to f*cking off in Target for hours to calling your mom to having marathon sex with your partner. Chill out, and choose like, maybe one or two things to focus on. Sleeping in on Saturday is actually going to be way better than spending your paycheck on sh*t you don’t need.
Virgo
Mars and Neptune are f*cking sh*t up in regards to you knowing what you want, Virgo. Take some time Friday night to be alone and do the whole introspection thing. Wake up on Saturday ready to communicate with your partner about what you really need in your relationship. The stars may actually help you get get it.
Libra
It’s all about relationships this weekend, Libra. If you’ve been meaning to delve into deep sh*t with your S.O., or have a come-to-Jesus moment with your mom, or maybe cut that toxic friend out of your life, this is the weekend to do it. Time alone on Friday to get your thoughts together before any big convos could be helpful, so maybe book yourself a yoga class complete with a solo wine and dine for the evening.
Scorpio
Even though everyone else is on the struggle bus during Aries season, you seem to be thriving, Scorpio. Take advantage of your good mood and call up some of your favs to hang with this weekend. An outdoor porch with bottomless mimosas sounds primo. Use Sunday to take some time for yourself before the Monday work meltdown hits.
Sagittarius
Hooray for creativity, Sagittarius. Get your HGTV on and do some projects around the house or outdoors. Maybe it’s time to head to Home Depot and figure out how to make a container garden on your patio that’ll piss your downstairs neighbors off! If you’re not into planting sh*t or are afraid of horticultural murder, maybe opt for painting a picture or drawing something for your S.O. He’ll love that.
Capricorn
Avoid drama and be nice this weekend, Capricorn. The Aries planets are making you miserable and liable to start a fight, just like the rest of us. But they’re also highlighting family, so instead of arguing about sh*t, make a genuine effort to be compassionate, say nice things, and scream into a pillow instead of into someone’s face. It’s all about balance.
Aquarius
Grab your favorite person and head out on a short weekend trip, Aquarius. The universe is pushing you to leave the couch and explore, and since you can’t really book a trip to Bali right now without everyone thinking you’re an asshole, maybe a quick drive to that cute mountain town a few hours away will abate your wanderlust for a hot sec. It will also help you feel closer to whichever friend, S.O., or family member you decide to drag with you.
Pisces
Pay attention to money this weekend, Pisces. More so than keeping track of your budget and not blowing your paycheck on sh*t you don’t need, it may be a good time to explore stocks and investing in something a teeny bit risky and something super safe. Ask your friend in finance if you need advice and don’t pull out of your 401(k).
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Adios, March! Time to welcome April, also known as the rainy month that brings on the warm weather. Just think: we’re that much closer to summer. Maybe it’ll be a real summer. Like, with vacations, and tanning, and bottomless mimosas, and regret. Gosh, I missed irresponsibility.
Anyway, the stars are here to make your weekend maybe a little better? Little worse? Honestly, who knows anymore.
Aries
It’s a great weekend for your self-esteem, Aries. Basically, if you’ve been in the mood to recreate your wardrobe/gym routine/habits/self in general, this is the time to do it. The stars are going to make it difficult to focus on much else, anyway. Also, be careful of sh*t you say that could be hurtful without you intending it to be. You may come off a bit more flippant than usual.
Taurus
Listen to your gut this weekend, Taurus; and not just if it’s telling you, yes, you do need the Quesalupa Combo Meal from Taco Bell for lunch because, dammit, you earned it. Meditate, journal, go for a walk in (ugh) nature, and call your mom. If you’ve been having doubts about your job, relationship, or wtf you’re doing in life, it’s time to sit down and give those thoughts some room.
Gemini
You’re all about helping others this weekend, Gemini, so if you’ve been just dying to get your inner philanthropist on, it’s your time to shine. Volunteer at an animal shelter, donate a bunch of old-but-still-fashionable clothes, offer to babysit for your mommy friend who (I can promise you) is overwhelmed. Or just go small and donate some money to Planned Parenthood in the name of any Republican congressperson or senator. They LOVE that sh*t.
Cancer
How’s that career working out for you, Cancer? If the answer is “ugh” or “f*ck off”, then maybe it’s time to update the ol’ resume, scour the internet, and sign up for those business classes that, yes, you can take online. You don’t do anything on Thursday nights, anyway. You absolutely have time.
Leo
Get out of the house the weekend, Leo. Grab your S.O. and head out for a picnic in the sunshine so you can totally day drink. You’re also going to be dying to go on some sort of adventure, so even if it’s just a trip downtown, to a restaurant, or even to Restoration Hardware, make sure you make plans.
Virgo
It’s an emotional rollercoaster of a weekend, Virgo. Lean in and break out the rom-coms, Taylor Swift Spotify station, and sweats. It’s okay to move away from your planned, logical, Type-A side every once in awhile. Sh*t, have mimosas and waffles for breakfast on Saturday and Sunday while you’re at it. Order brunch and don’t look at the menu beforehand. Live wildly.
Libra
Aries is f*cking sh*t up in your relationships this weekend, Libra. It doesn’t have to be a knockdown, drag-out fight, though. Listen, be open, and stop making winning the argument the ultimate objective. By Sunday, things will have cooled down, and you can try to channel that rage into some weird, but interesting, end-of-weekend sex. Hooray!
Scorpio
Take care of yourself this weekend, Scorpio. You’ve been focused on work, your relationships, your house, your mom—literally everyone and everything except you this week. Schedule some time for a solo brunch, massage, pedi, and long walk to clear your mind. Don’t feel guilty about canceling plans or saying no. Leave your work email alone; it’ll be there on Monday.
Sagittarius
You’re literally exploding with love this weekend, Sagittarius. The planets are influencing your passion, so don’t be surprised if you call your mom/dad/brother/bestie and go on and on about how amazing they are. Likewise, try not to smother your partner. You know that three rounds in the bedroom is about all he can handle for the evening. Sunday is a great day to tackle house projects, so turn that passion for people into passion for dusting so you can fully embrace the whole spring cleaning vibe.
Capricorn
Aries continues to f*ck sh*t up for you, too, this weekend, Capricorn. Little tiffs over who last emptied the dishwasher could easily turn into full-fledged screaming matches about that time he didn’t pick you up from the airport three years ago and was hungover at that first meeting with your parents. The moon on Sunday should cool things off, so maybe stay away from people and arguments by spending some time outdoors.
Aquarius
Calm down, Aquarius. We get that this weekend has made you feel so f*cking popular, but it’s important that you space out your outings, have some time for yourself, and don’t tell your boss you can work late or, like, ever on a Saturday. Make sure that the people and/or things that you do commit to mean a lot to you and care for you. Like, committing to watching murder dramas on Netflix or committing to brunch with your bestie who loves to compliment you seems like a wonderful way to spend a weekend. Cleaning? Not so much.
Pisces
Don’t blow your money on dumb sh*t, Pisces. I realize that Alexa has been listening to your internal and external thoughts and the ad targeting has been PRIIIIMO, but, honestly, you don’t need the porch set/lifetime supply of Sour Patch Kids/treadmill right now. Instead, focus on your budget this weekend, and PLAN for a big, cool purchase that you actually need.
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Welcome to the season of Aries, a zodiac sign that, like my 16-month old, seems to revel in presenting sass and attitude to deal with everyday problems. I see you, Aries. Live your truth. The rest of us will be on an emotional rollercoaster this weekend, it seems, although communication and romance are not looking horrible for most of us. Silver linings! Let’s dive in.
Aries
Steer clear of people and things while you’re in a bad f*cking mood all damn weekend, Aries. Like, it’s best if you make a mimosa and sit on your porch/balcony/floor and calm down. You can also try and burn off that rage by running on a treadmill or letting your mom talk at you for a few hours. Both burn calories. I think.
Taurus
Take time to do the sh*t you really enjoy this weekend, Taurus. Like, sure, your Crockpot is great, but maybe this is the weekend to tackle that multi-level Dobos torte you saw on Great British Baking Show. Maybe cooking between one and five of Julia Child’s original recipes is something you’ve wanted to do for, like, ever? Even if you mess up, doing an activity that gets you away from binging episodes of Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives will be worth it.
Gemini
Treat yourself to some alone time this weekend, Gemini. Yeah, it’s nice to get away, but the real purpose here is to keep you away from drama on Saturday. If you get involved, it’s going to be a Teresa/NJ Housewives situation. You are in a good spot to get sexy and sassy with your partner, though, so maybe channel the drama into the bedroom in the form of some role play.
Cancer
Break out the helping hands, Cancer, cause you’re all about being nice this weekend. Those feelings will prove useful throughout Saturday and Sunday, since the moon will be pushing you to tidy up the house in the name of spring cleaning. You’ll also feel the urge to reach out to family members that need a little extra comfort right now.
Leo
Use your words, Leo. This weekend, the stars want you to use all your powers in the realm of communication to tell your fam, friends, partner, etc. how you feel. The universe is actually going to align to help you perfectly express yourself, so take advantage of that sh*t. Like, if you’re given the powers of communication and a strong grasp of language, don’t use it to argue with dumbasses on the local news’ Facebook page (even though that can be super fun).
Virgo
You’re feeeeeling yourself this weekend, Virgo. Own that sh*t and grab some friends to bask in your awesomeness with you. Just watch what you say—your words, thanks to the moon, have some power behind them this weekend, so be careful not to be flippant or nastier than usual. Luckily, by Sunday you’ll still be feeling confident, but your words aren’t as likely to piss people off.
Libra
Relationships, ahoy, Libra. You’ll be super focused on your romantic relationship this weekend as well as how you’re treating yourself. Are you being nice? Taking care of yourself? Are you listening when your partner talks to you? Do you cheer him on when he’s playing Mario Kart or Call of… Whatever? Time for the important convos.
Scorpio
You’re so in tune with your feelings this weekend, Scorpio. Celebrate by not crying into a pillow and, instead, shouting out your front door about how great you are. It’s also a prime weekend to treat yourself. Go for a spa day or just lie in bed and shop online for a few hours. I mean, it is tax refund season…
Sagittarius
Frustration is fun, isn’t it, Sagittarius? Yeah, well, get ready for a boatload of that sh*t this weekend, thanks to the moon f*cking with your feelings and making things hard for you. The good news is that this can be somewhat solved with friends and day drinking! Make plans and leave your moodiness at the door.
Capricorn
Travel this weekend, Capricorn—especially if you can do so safely (see: wearing a mask and not being an asshole) and responsibly. Maybe that cute town a few hours away has been calling to you. Or maybe it’s time to say f*ck it and drive across the country, eating your way through the states that no one cares about unless they love greasy food.
Aquarius
Check in on your money matters, Aquarius. It’s better that you take a look at your spending before your dad does when he helps file your taxes this year. Like, it’s best we just avoid that discussion about responsibility all together, right? Sunday, it’s best to chill at home, order in, and kick your feet up. The upcoming week is going to be emotionally exhausting.
Pisces
Get weird with your S.O., Pisces. It’s been a while since the two of you unplugged and just spent an evening or full day soaking up each other’s awesomeness, so plan for a fun date night, cuddling, movies, and lots of interesting sex, k? The stars are also pushing the two of you to tackle some joint projects and adult sh*t together, so maybe it’s time you created that joint checking account? Or don’t. He doesn’t need to see all the weird sh*t you buy.
Images: Alvin Balemesa / Unsplash; Giphy (12)
Hope everyone had a great quarantine-iversary last weekend. I personally can’t wait to do literally nothing different this weekend, since most people haven’t been vaccinated yet and I’ve learned to accept the revolving line of loungewear, house sweaters, and joggers I’m living in. My hair looks great in a braid, and my skin is glowing from the lack of caring. Amazing; feeling hashtag blessed.
Anyway, maybe the stars have something more interesting in store considering it’s FINALLY the start of spring?
Pisces
If you’ve been debating a big purchase like a car, house, or publicist so you can finally fulfill your dream of becoming an influencer, this weekend is the time to really examine your finances and take the plunge if you’re ready. I mean, don’t blow your life savings if deep down it feels like a stupid venture, but if it seems worthwhile and very #adulty, go for it. Sunday is for reeling after said financial decision and lying low with fam and friends.
Aries
You’re a ball of energy after work Friday and carrying into Saturday, Aries. Make the most of it and do something other than keeping your TV company. Get out for a hike in the name of spring, chug a green beer a few days late, or show those weeds in the front yard who’s f*cking boss. Sunday is for family, but beware the planets tempting you with drama. Stay out of it, even if you’re dying to weigh in.
Taurus
Sleep in, relax, and greet spring that same way you’ve greeted all the other seasons this past year, Taurus: comfortably. The universe may send you some wacky dreams, so if you wake up in a sweat after night terrors of your dog discussing stock options with you while the walls ooze slime, chill out. Not everything has deeper meaning.
Gemini
Treat yourself with weekend plans, friends, and family, Gemini. Celebrate spring by planning a picnic, making your S.O. barbecue for your friends, or figuring out how to create a new drinking game with your neighbors. If you’re still in the mood to be social on Sunday, do something chill like lying outside, heading out for a walk, or going urban hiking through Target with your mom.
Cancer
Friday may be the end of the work week, but the stars are making sure you end it on a high note when it comes to professional sh*t, Cancer. If you feel like you should stay late to finish a project, answer an email, or help a teammate—do it. It may pay off later. Use the rest of the weekend, though, for you and all the trash TV, non-work emails, and garbage food you want.
Leo
Broaden your horizons, Leo. If you’ve been wanting to pick back up Duolingo and learn French, try that new Oaxacan restaurant in town, or finally use your gym membership, f*cking go for it this weekend and do it all. Jupiter and the moon want you to tackle everything you can and—even if you can’t quite fit it all in the schedule—will totally help you achieve at least, like, half.
Virgo
Time to team up with your S.O. for some kind of cute, sexy adventure, Virgo. If you can safely get away for the weekend, the stars will be aligned for you two to have an amazing time. Can’t leave the house? It’s also a great opportunity to tackle some sort of house project together—less yelling, more nailing, ya know? On Sunday, the moon wants you to call up your besties that you haven’t talked to in awhile, so after all the nailing, make some time for them.
Libra
The sun is highlighting love in every form this weekend, Libra. If you’re paired up, this is a great chance to reconnect with your partner over things you BOTH love, like murder documentaries, cheap tacos, and sweatpants (I assume). If you’re single, get to swiping or take your friend up on meeting that guy she thinks you’ll love, even though it’ll require you to brush out the messy bun you’ve been rocking for three days.
Scorpio
How’s that lifestyle treating you, Scorpio? Take a long, hard look at yourself in the mirror this weekend, and adjust your self-love routines accordingly. Are you giving yourself enough time to: read? NOT scroll through your phone? Relax? Exercise? Eat something that isn’t microwaved leftovers? Be harsh but fair.
Sagittarius
If you’re feeling creative, embrace that sh*t this weekend, Sagittarius. Paint a picture of a butterfly. Get into really weird sexual positions with your S.O. Create a sculpture out of taco meat, idfk. While you’re basking in this artistic renaissance, the stars will also be highlighting partnership, so be sure to include whoever that means in your endeavors, regardless of how weird.
Capricorn
Time for some spring cleaning, Capricorn. There have been a ton of videos and how-tos floating around lately for how to get your home at its ULTIMATE clean. Go ahead and lean into that vibe by bleaching, vinegaring, and wiping f*cking everything. Heck, clean out your closet while you’re at it. You’re not going to wear (translation: fit into) that bandage skirt from college again. Time to give it up.
Aquarius
Speak your truth this weekend, Aquarius. If you’ve been wanting to have a hard convo with your S.O., mom, or bestie, this is the time to do it, since the stars are all aligned on people actually f*cking listening to you. You’ll also be feeling extra passionate, so just be careful not to get *too* carried away in your arguments. You could ruffle some feathers, and no one wants any added drama.
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Bye, February. It’s time we started seeing March and holding out hope for a normal f*cking summer, where I can tan my pale, chubby quarantine body without fear of judgment since literally all of us have been mole people since last year. Who knows—maybe everything will be normal in a few months, and finding random masks in my pocket will be a silly memory come November. I’ll just keep counting the weeks and weekends till we’re there.
Maybe, just maybe, the planets have some hope in store for us?!
Pisces
Time for listening, Pisces, especially when it comes to your partner. Use the weekend to really communicate, and concentrate on what your partner needs. Does he want pizza? To be told he’s so strong and sexy and deserves a head rub? It’ll help your relationship in the long run to talk about those feelings. Use Sunday to talk to your S.O. about any secrets you’ve been keeping. Like that you’ve been buying DoorDash with his credit card for months now and no, his account wasn’t hacked.
Aries
Time for a little self-reflection, Aries. Use the weekend to examine how you’re taking care of yourself both mentally and physically. If you haven’t left the couch in weeks and can’t remember the last time you had a salad, maybe it’s time for a little fresh air, a walk, and rejoining the world. Then again, if you’re happy and comfy coping that way, do you.
Taurus
Holy creativity, Taurus; this weekend is all about artsy fartsy expression. Tackle a DIY project, or just doodle while sipping coffee and enjoying the morning quiet. On the romantic front, if you’re single, give someone you felt “meh” about a second chance; put yourself out there. If you’re paired up, connect with your partner while indulging your need for art this weekend. We hear the Met and Louvre are offering free online tours …
Gemini
Organize your sh*t, Gemini. Use the weekend as an early form of spring cleaning, and go through all the clothes, shoes, and homewares that can be donated to the Goodwill or somewhere similar. The cleaning can also extend to your laptop. You don’t need 4872 screenshots of Yelp reviews for your boss’s reference. Use Sunday to try something new, like exercising or a new recipe. Opposite ends of the spectrum, but you get the idea.
Cancer
Communication is key this weekend, Cancer. If you’ve been bad about answering personal emails, calling your mom back, or actually following through on plans with your bestie, this is the weekend to tackle all of it. You’ll also have a strong desire to learn sh*t on Sunday, so maybe it’s time to wade back into your Duolingo app and pick up French again. Who knows—maybe by December you’ll be able to travel again.
Leo
Tax season is coming, Leo, and it’s a good weekend to look at your budget and finances. We know spreadsheets are the actual worst, but maybe it’ll help to see in black and white just how much of your paycheck went to GrubHub, DoorDash, and Uber Eats last year. By Saturday night, you’ll be turning your focus to your family, so snuggle up with your S.O. and watch some true crime docs.
Virgo
Be kind to yourself, Virgo. You’ve been extra self-deprecating lately, and you should use the weekend to tell yourself how awesome you are. Instead of looking in the mirror and saying, “damn, my ass got huge,” try “yo, I’m a powerful dump truck.” Morning mantras make all the difference. If you’re having trouble being positive, make time to hang out with that one friend who always makes you feel awesome.
Libra
Don’t ignore your intuition this weekend, Libra. In fact, the universe may be so loud that you’ll want everyone else to just STFU. Lean into being alone and go for a walk, soak in a tub, or lock yourself in the spare bedroom. Sh*t, even going for a quiet drive sounds amazing. If you’re single, be careful with any new matches. Their intentions may be less than amazing.
Scorpio
Make some killer plans this weekend, Scorpio. It’s been f*cking forever since you left the house, and so long as you promise to wear your mask and not get too drunk in public, you can reward yourself with some friend time at a brewery or brunch spot come Saturday. Nursing your hangover on Sunday will provide some much-needed introspection, so listen to the planets and maybe see if you can muster the strength to volunteer or do something nice for someone else.
Sagittarius
The moon is shining a light on your career this weekend, Sagittarius. Use Friday for a meetup with your boss for a frank discussion about reviews, raises, and her f*cking attitude in that last meeting. Maybe not that last part, unless your boss is really chill. Saturday and Sunday raise opportunities to do something constructive, like rearrange your bathroom cabinets and get your sh*t organized.
Capricorn
Do something new, Capricorn. This weekend gives you a chance to not only leave the f*cking house, but to go somewhere or do something you haven’t before. Go for a hike and don’t complain. Try that restaurant that got terrible Yelp reviews. Volunteer to work on a Sunday. Buy a bunch of houseplants to nurture.
Aquarius
Trust your gut, Aquarius. If your relationship has felt a little distant—even rocky—lately, use the weekend to explore that sh*t and talk it out with your partner. Something could be off and totally fixable after you both lay your cards on the table. If you’re single, use the weekend to peruse the current dating pool. You may be pleasantly surprised by what you find.
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So far, 2021 has been a mixed bag. In less than two full months, it’s given us snow and bitter cold in Texas and an attempted coup, but we’ve also gotten a bit of hope hope related to COVID-19, and a President who doesn’t angrily tweet from a toilet at 2:30 in the morning. Overall, I’d say we’re on the up and up. Since we’re now past the made-up holiday that is Valentine’s Day and closer to f*cking summer, maybe the stars will be a little kinder to us this weekend. It is Pisces season, after all. Let’s dive in.
Pisces
Tune in to whatever your gut tells you this weekend, Pisces. If work on Friday seems less important than relaxation, obey the vibes and head on out. Your boss will understand, probably. Listen to your gut on Saturday and Sunday, otherwise you might miss an opportunity to do hot girl sh*t, and we wouldn’t want that.
Aries
It’s all about communication this weekend, Aries. If you haven’t set aside time lately to call friends or meet up in person (safely), carve out some time on Saturday to do so, whether it’s over lunch at a local spot or on a short hike where you pretend to love the outdoors. Sunday you’ll want to spread some kindness around, so clean out your closet and donate your unused sh*t or go buy a bunch of dog food and toys for the local animal shelter.
Taurus
It’s a great weekend to get your f*cking tax sh*t together, Taurus. Start gathering your documents and prepare to file like a real adult this year. Saturday is also fantastic for redoing your resume. You don’t need to include the dog-washing job you had in college anymore. I know you think it makes you seem approachable and interesting, but nobody cares.
Gemini
You’re more energetic than a 90s kid after a pack of Dunkaroos, Gemini. This weekend, make sure to try and expend all the energy you seem to have and make time for a long walk, intense DIY project (like one that maybe involves limited use of power tools), and/or exploring towns close by.
Cancer
Get ready for some wild dreams this weekend, Cancer. If there’s no other excuse to sleep in super late on Saturday, just tell your concerned friends and family that you’re trying to get in touch with the universe. Bed stuff aside, use the weekend to dote on yourself since this week has been kind of rough. And one more thing: try to think before you speak. The stars are lining up in a way that could make you blurt out stupid sh*t if you aren’t careful.
Leo
Partnership and friendship are front and center this weekend, Leo. Basically, you need to make time for the people who mean the most to you on Saturday with either a (safe) meetup at a local restaurant for dinner or a FaceTime brunch where you can all get absolutely ripped on mimosas in the privacy of your own homes. For your S.O., try to do something they want to do this weekend. If it means getting dragged through Lowe’s to look at drywall, whatever.
Virgo
It’s all about your healthy habits—or lack thereof—this weekend, Virgo. Take notice of how your weekend goes in regards to your eating habits, snacking habits, exercise, and self-care. You may find that the absence of taking a little time for you is majorly f*cking up your work week. Give yourself some grace and relax with a mud mask, lots of water, and feel-good foods.
Libra
The moon wants you to get creative this weekend, Libra. If you’ve been wanting to show your boss that you can do a way better job than the creative director on that project, use Saturday to mock some stuff up to present on Monday. If she hates it, you’re no worse off than you are now. You’ll also feel the pull for some extra romance, so use Sunday to tackle your S.O. and demand snuggles.
Scorpio
Another week, another emotional rollercoaster, right Scorpio? Along with feeling a little extra sensitive this weekend, you’ll actually be feeling a little psychic (like you have ESPN or something) thanks to the moon. Use your powers for good and guide some friends through some sticky situations.
Sagittarius
Hooray for partnership, Sagittarius. Use this weekend to focus on your partner and communicate about all the sh*t you two usually sweep under the rug. Thanks to the planets not being assholes, you’ll actually hear each other and there will be less chance of a screaming match. If you’re single, it’s a great weekend to meet someone special, so don’t be afraid to say yes to a date that feels even semi-promising.
Capricorn
Time for a little reflection, Capricorn. It’s been a while since you’ve had a weekend where you sit back, relax, and think about your life, but this is the time to do it. Even if the time spent thinking about the awkward interactions you’ve had with coworkers are semi-painful, it’s a good time to reflect on all the different things you could have said, right?
Aquarius
Passion and love are finally in your future this weekend, Aquarius. If you’ve felt like the last few weeks have been uncharacteristically tiresome, loveless, and bleh, don’t fret—the end is in sight. Your partner will find you completely irresistible on Saturday, so lean in to that, if you’re into it. Sh*t, maybe this is a good time to bring up that whole living together thing, right?
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Happy Valentine’s, Palentine’s, Galentine’s or Single Awareness Weekend, fam. Since going out is still kind of frowned upon and no one is going to see your lipstick under that mask anyway, might I suggest Netflix and chilling with some takeout? Sh*t, throw on your comfiest sweatpants and redo your messy bun; it’s a special occasion, after all. What do the planets have in store for us during this star-crossed weekend? Let’s dive in.
Aquarius
Love yourself, Aquarius. We know it’s Valentine’s weekend and all, but it’s important during these few days off that you remember to take care of your bod, mind, and spirit, too. If that means a bubble bath while your camera is off on Zoom on Friday, go for it. If it means jogging while listening to old school emo, you do you. If it means booking an all-inclusive vacay to Bermuda for 2023 (we’ll be safe by then, right?) go for it.
Pisces
Your ruling planet, Neptune, wants you to remind everyone what a great person you are, Pisces. Use the weekend to show how capable of love you are by calling old friends, buying something cute for your S.O., and not arguing with your mom even though she’s super wrong. Don’t leave yourself out, either. If showing love and gratitude means buying yourself that $200 dress you have no place to wear—whatever, do it.
Aries
The stars will have you full-on being nice this weekend, Aries. It’s a bit out of character for you, but embrace it and show the world that you’re not an asshole ALL the time. On Saturday, wake up late, but early enough to make your partner breakfast—even if it’s just coffee and burnt toast (it’s the thought that counts). Sunday maybe (since it’s Valentine’s Day) you could order something your partner likes, even if vegan açai bowls aren’t your jam.
Taurus
You’re charming af this weekend, Taurus. If you’re single, make plans to see someone—anyone—be it in person over drinks or via a Zoom date. If you’re part of a pair, your partner is probably going to be all.over.you. this weekend, so prepare yourself for all that energy. On Sunday, you’ll feel the desire to be extra kind, so drop off some clothes, toiletries, and goods at the local women’s shelter, then unwind with takeout from your favorite pizza place.
Gemini
You’re a barrel of f*cking fun this weekend, Gemini. Seriously, everyone wants to be around you. Since you can’t really throw a party in your own honor, opt for meeting up with a few friends somewhere with outdoor seating; brunch with one or two besties; or just making your S.O. tell you how pretty you are. On that note, make sure you pay some extra special attention to your partner; they need love, too.
Cancer
The stars want you to nurture everyone and everything around you this weekend, Cancer. Since it’s Valentine’s Day, spoil your sweetheart with dinner out (or in), and whatever else is allowed during a pandemic. If you’re single, nurture some plants; or maybe it’s finally time to bite the bullet and get a puppy. Cats are easier, but they’re too bitchy for me.
Leo
Venus wants you to connect deeply with your partner this weekend, Leo, so we recommend whipping out the handcuffs and lingerie you’ve been saving and getting down to business. Sex aside, it’ll also be a great weekend for meaningful conversation, so if there’s been something on your mind, now’s the time to discuss. The stars are foreseeing little if any conflict, so don’t be afraid to throw it all out there.
Virgo
Mercury and Venus want you to lean in fully to the Valentine’s vibes this weekend, Virgo. If you’re part of a pair, spoil your partner with gifts (including your bod, if that’s how you wanna play it). If you’re single, show your tribe how much they mean to you and schedule a day out at a winery where you can soak up each other’s awesomeness.
Libra
Creativity and love are on the docket this weekend, Libra, so if you’ve been dying to tackle a bathroom remodel, paint a wall, or just peruse Zillow for houses you can’t afford with your beloved, by all means, this is the time to do it. You’ll be feeling more romantic than usual, so lean in fully to Valentine’s Day and make some glitter and macaroni cards for your S.O. to put in his home office. I’m sure he’ll love it.
Scorpio
Give your love to everyoneeeee, Scorpio. Well, not like, toxic people or potential serial killers —you get it. Use this weekend of love to not only spoil your soulmate, but to send little gifts to friends and family, too. Make a giant batch of homemade truffles and bag them up for people you don’t hate. Bake pies or cupcakes and leave them for your lonelier neighbors. Volunteer at an animal shelter to snuggle all the dogs. Basically, just be a nice person. You can go back to being an asshole on Monday.
Sagittarius
Speak from your heart, Sagittarius. Whether it’s talking about your #feelings to your boss on Friday or finally telling that idiot you’re dating that you really, really dig him, being straightforward and leaning in to the whole Valentine’s vibe this weekend will go great for you.
Capricorn
Listen to your heart, Capricorn. This weekend is all about love, but you need to take some time for yourself, too. After work on Friday, head out for a glass of wine or giant beer on your own. Self care is important. The rest of the weekend is for quiet cuddling with your S.O., or, if you’re single, scrolling through dating apps with your besties on FaceTime.
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Welcome to February, where snow, ice, and cold reign supreme, and my sweatpants have an actual job to do in keeping me warm and not just serving as my only comfy article of clothing during covid times. We’re a week away from Valentine’s Day, for those that still believe time isn’t just a social construct, so, there’s that. It’s not like you should be eating out at restaurants, but whatever.
The stars are serving up everything from craving connection to wanting independence this weekend, so good luck navigating all the emotions. Should be fun!
Aquarius
You’re craving connection this weekend, Aquarius. Since a girls’ trip to a spa/Italy/wine country isn’t exactly in the cards ATM, plan for a group FaceTime during the big game on Sunday so you can all watch the commercials together. Or, plan for an outdoor brewery adventure with just one or two close pals so you can like, see other human beings in real life.
Pisces
What are your goals, Pisces? It’s good practice to sit back and think about what you want longterm from relationships, your career, your nest, etc. this weekend. Since these are covid times, it may be best to write down your goals so you can laugh at them later. Like, maybe one of your goals for 2020 was to “get out more” or “travel the world”. That’s f*cking hilarious now, right? Goals for 2021 could be as easy as “leave the couch for one hour each day” and “step outdoors.”
Aries
If you have chores, work, and other un-fun sh*t to get to this weekend, try to get it all out of the way on Friday night, Aries. The stars are aligning to help you get super accomplished in whatever you attack, so be productive and leave your weekend for play. Once Saturday hits, you’ll be dying to get outdoors, so try to schedule a run, hike, or snowman-building with your friends’ kids. There can be boozy hot chocolate afterwards.
Taurus
You’ll be itching for independence and codependence this weekend, Taurus, which is confusing af. Basically, the moon on Saturday wants you to focus on your partner, but you’ll be ready to fight anyone who “threatens” your ability to do your own thing. You may need to walk a tightrope to appease both sides of yourself. If nothing else, plan the weekend you want, and tell your S.O. to tag along.
Gemini
Partnership, communication, and tough sh*t are on the docket this weekend, Gemini. You’ve been pushing down some deeply held feelings regarding a relationship for awhile now, and this weekend presents a good opportunity to share those concerns. Yah, you may have a fight or even lose said relationship. But better now than Valentine’s Day weekend, right?
Cancer
Hooray for creativity, Cancer! Get your hands dirty in the pursuit of art this weekend. Try out watercolors, paint a wall, change out the knobs on all your cabinets, draw a picture of a butterfly—whatever. You’ll feel the urge on Saturday to get healthier and change up your routine, too, so attack that feeling on Sunday with a morning jog, less creamer in your coffee, and investing in a FitBit or Apple Watch so you can see just how inactive you are.
Leo
Relationships are front and center this weekend, Leo. If you’ve been dying to have a mushy, lovey weekend with your S.O., plan for it this weekend and not Valentine’s Day when everyone else will be doing nice sh*t, too. It’s also a prime time to have those tough conversations with your partner if you haven’t stirred the pot recently. Even if you have to make some hard decisions, it’ll turn out for the best down the road.
Virgo
Concentrate on your nest and the people in it this weekend, Virgo. Use Friday after work to tidy up at home, then spend the rest of your free time with the people you can tolerate. Cuddle up with your S.O. over a wholesome serial killer documentary. Go for a walk with your mom on Saturday so you can hear her complain in person about the governor.
Libra
You’ve got a lot of energy this weekend, Libra, so don’t squander it scrolling through your phone and being bored. Tackle the project of re-potting all your plants this weekend, then buy some interesting plant stands and set them up around your apartment. You’ll also want to make a point of driving around this weekend, so pick a scenic spot and take a ride. Basically, the moon and stars are pushing creativity and little adventures, so try to combine those things without going overboard.
Scorpio
You’ve got a lot of feelings this weekend, Scorpio, so try to ride it out without losing your patience. Friday will be an exercise in self-reflection and finances, so examine your budget or lack thereof and adjust accordingly. Saturday your focus will switch to home and fam, so call up your besties and have a Zoom mimosa and bitch sesh. Sunday you’ll be dying to leave the house, and the good news is walking around outside is free, so get at it.
Sagittarius
Skip work Friday if you can, Sagittarius, and give yourself a much-needed break with a three-day weekend. Whether you choose to spend it worrying about what you’re missing at work or taking a short weekend trip is up to you. The moon wants you to explore sh*t, so try to at least leave the house. If you need to settle for eating Taco Bell on a park bench, that’ll work, though.
Capricorn
Be a shoulder to lean on this weekend, Capricorn. You may have a friend or three that’s been having a tough go of it lately. Reach out with a phone call, offer to go for a drive, or make plans for lunch, wine, and lots of listening and nodding. Don’t be surprised if your S.O. is the one that needs a little extra attention, too.
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