This Bride Got Virally Shamed For Her Wedding Sneakers

Weddings can be a pretty big f*cking deal—I mean, they don’t say it’s the biggest day of your life for nothing. It takes about a year to plan, an average of $36,000 to put on, and determining the place seatings alone is a strategic maneuver requiring a level of diplomacy that rivals the formation of many political alliances. Between pressures and conflicting desires from family, friends, in-laws, and the bride and grooms themselves, what is supposed to be the celebration of a newlywed couple can end up turning into a never-ending sh*tstorm of people to please, to not disappoint. So imagine planning your wedding for over a year, having a great time, thinking you’d pulled off a classy affair that still managed to showcase your personality, and then finding out that you’d become internet famous… for how bad it was.

That actually happened to Juliette Brandman, a New York-based bride. An avid Betches fan and listener of the Betches Brides  podcast, she sent us an email:  “So upon returning from my honeymoon, I see myself all over the Daily Mail Snapchat story shaming my wedding dress and shoe choices,” she wrote. The offender was, as Brandman explained, “an ex-girlfriend of a boy I knew in college” who had posted her wedding pictures to a Facebook group dedicated to talking sh*t about people’s weddings. Brandman had worn a short dress with feather details along the hem and sleeves for her reception, as well as sneakers, which were Christian Louboutin and, as members of the group pointed out in the comments, cost $1,000. But Facebook wasn’t where Brandman learned about it. She found out when The Sun picked up the post, and then the Daily Mail did a spin-off article (which has since been taken down). She saw it for herself when the Daily Mail put it on their Snapchat story and her friends started sending it to her.

At first, she thought one of her friend’s Snapchat had been hacked, and sending her her own wedding photos as part of the hack. “They’ve really gotten so advanced!” she initially thought. Then she Googled it, and found the story (which, for what it’s worth, was basically just a bunch of screenshots from the Facebook group, amounting to “People On The Internet Don’t Like This Woman’s Fashion Choices”. I know the Daily Mail is not exactly a bastion of investigative journalism, but come on). At that point, reality set in.

Image: Fred Marcus Studios

“I was like, ‘are you kidding me?’” she said. “It was shocking and I kind of couldn’t believe it. It was definitely hurtful, and you try not to read the comments, but curiosity got the better of me and I totally read them and was like, ‘okay, these are not super nice.’” 

What made the Daily Mail and Sun articles especially shocking to her was how the internet’s opinion completely diverged from that of her friends and family. “Every single person at our wedding was obsessed with our shoes,” she said. “Like, people were taking pictures, they were like, ‘omg I can’t believe you are wearing these, these are so cool.’” So to see the internet take delight in having the opposite reaction was pretty jarring. “Those were my special wedding day shoes, and that was a fun part of something that I wanted to bring to my wedding. And I have now hundreds or thousands of people basically telling me I have terrible, hideous taste.” The girl who initially posted the photos to the group tried to qualify that when she initially met the bride, she loved her style—kind of the internet cyberbullying version of “you know I love you, but…”

The other factor that internet commenters didn’t think about when ripping Brandman’s fashion choices apart was the consideration that went into her choosing those items in the first place.  “I am a plus sized bride, and, I’m a plus sized human being, so finding a dress, and finding something that I was comfortable in to wear for a second dress, was a big deal.” (The original poster to the group did clarify, “to be fair this was her second outfit,” as if that would help.) Umm yeah, I feel like if any of the commenters had considered that before slamming her, they might not have had as much ammo to rip her to shreds.

Image: Fred Marcus Studios

So, yeah. If you worked really hard on something and you found out that the internet was tearing it apart (while you were on your honeymoon, no less), you’d probably be pretty devastated. But actually, Brandman seemed surprisingly calm about the whole ordeal, and mainly just thinks it’s embarrassing. “It’s just uncomfortable because I spent over a year and a half dedicating my life to this wedding. I paid for that dress, I paid for those shoes, that was my gift to myself because I wanted to have something really fun at my wedding.” I, on the other hand, would either be scheming up petty ways to ruin the life of whoever posted me to that group in the first place, or orchestrating a relocation off the grid, so I admire her levelheadedness about the whole thing. She credits her friends and family, saying that since they were the ones who discovered the articles while she was on her honeymoon, they were able to come up with an action plan and support her the whole way.

Another wakeup call was the fact that Juliette barely even spoke to the girl who initially put her on blast. She’d added her back in college, but they hadn’t really been in touch since: “We don’t talk. We’re not friends, we don’t really have a lot of mutual friends.” She still doesn’t understand why the girl went to the trouble of sharing her pictures in the wedding shaming group, a concept she was also unaware even existed. (For the uninitiated, the gist is that you post photos sh*tting on someone else’s wedding, decor, fashion choices, or you can post stories about people who acted terribly at your wedding or a wedding you went to.) Talk about a rude awakening to the darker sides of Facebook. “I mean, it’s human nature to be judgemental,” she offered, “and especially with Instagram, you see everyone’s stuff. But like, you take things out and you privately message your friends about it. You don’t, like, put it on blast when you don’t know these people.” Now, Brandman is doing a Facebook purge, but she says she won’t let one salty girl deter her from posting pictures of her wedding.

“Looking back, I’m like, this girl literally spent the time from her day creeped through my photos and was like, ‘You know what? This would be great for the shaming group that I am a part of,’” she rationalized. “Like, I can’t even imagine.”

And as for whether she confronted the girl in question about putting her on blast? “Absolutely not.”

Images: Fred Marcus Studio

Crazy Wedding Story Of The Week: Say No To Sunrise Weddings

Your wedding day is pretty much all about you (and like, a little about the person you’re marrying). However, there are a lot of factors that’ll determine the day you end up having. The biggest one, for most people, is your guests. People have to travel. People have to eat and drink. And people need to be told when, where, and what outfit to show off. In fact, pretty much all of your wedding day planning decisions are going to land somewhere in the middle of what you want and what makes sense for your guests.

Our psycho bride today appeared on Reddit and is not adhering to these unspoken rules. Not only is she not adhering, but her idea of a dream wedding is f*cking insane.

Setting The Scene

This absolutely f*cking bonkers story was discovered in, where else, the Am I The Asshole subreddit. It’s really just the gift that keeps on giving.  This thread is a real doozy. Let me be the first (well, not the first—there are quite a few commenters who share my feelings) to say yes, these people are 100% assholes. Let’s explore why:

“Every year on our anniversary, my fiance and I wake up early to go to the beach and watch the sunrise together. It’s a very special tradition, as we have both overcome a number of personal challenges during our time together, and the symbolism of watching a new day begin is deeply meaningful for us.”

Aww, that’s v nice fam. Good for you, jazz snaps all around.

“We decided we wanted to incorporate this into our wedding. Our plan is to have our ceremony on the beach and have everyone walk over to a beachfront restaurant for breakfast, bloody Marys and mimosas (we’ve already talked to the restaurant owner about this, who loves the idea and said he’d be happy to open early for us). After that, everyone is free for the remainder of the day. Our friends and family are mostly local and should all be able to travel to the beach in under an hour, except for some extended family flying in from Canada, but that’s unavoidable.”

LOL WUT. Wait, like, are you honestly, HONESTLY expecting me, your beloved mother/aunty/future MIL/bridesmaid to wake the f*ck up WHILE IT’S DARK OUTSIDE and on a F*CKING WEEKEND to watch you guys get married at the ACTUAL asscrack of dawn? And then to partake in the worst kind of wedding of all—a breakfast wedding?! I must be misinterpreting this, right?

The Nitty Gritty

“Based on our geographic location and the date of the wedding next summer, we’ve scheduled the ceremony start time for 5:30 a.m., when there should be plenty of light but the sun itself won’t be quite visible yet.”

NOPE. It’s a hard nope from me, dawg. So, if the ceremony is starting at 5:30am, that means the bride and her posse are going to have to be awake for hair and makeup at what time? 2:30? That doesn’t sound fun. That doesn’t sound like a super fetch time. In fact, that sounds like f*cking torture. And don’t tell me you and the girls can just pull an all-nighter. As someone who has had to do the wedding day thing exactly once, I will tell you that a good night’s sleep is absolutely imperative to having a non-terrible day.

Also, if, like the Reddit post said, the majority of guests live an hour away, that means they need to prepare to arrive around 5-5:15am, forcing them to leave their homes around 4am, which makes wake-up time around 2:30-3am, depending how long it takes these people to get ready and chug some coffee before they drive bleary-eyed in the dark. This sounds unsafe and downright rude.

How’s Everyone Feeling?

“We’ve been getting a LOT of backlash from our families about this, who say this is way too early and we need to move the ceremony to a more ‘normal’ time of day. But my fiance and I don’t feel like we’re asking for anything that unreasonable. AITA?”

OMG, you’ve been getting backlash? Are you f*cking surprised?! You’re asking people to travel in the day before or earlier in order to wake up at 3am, then be totally dead for the rest of the day. Do you honestly expect ANYONE to start drinking at 6am? What am I, in college? I’m an adult! Maybe not a high-functioning adult, but an adult nonetheless!

The options for your guests are either to pull an all-nighter and be completely useless the next day, forcing them to stay overnight in a hotel to sleep it off, or drive home after the drunk wears off around noon and crawl into bed. Like, what planet am I on?

Why not incorporate the sunrise into the end of the reception? Like, have a late ceremony at sunset, which would be symbolic AF, dance and drink all night, then encourage all of your guests to stay up for the sunrise grand finale. Wow, I should be a f*cking wedding planner.

Obviously, this Reddit poster has officially been labeled an asshole and comments have been closed. Here’s to hoping the bride and groom change their mind and do something more normal, unless they plan on giving everyone a LOT of really good drugs to stay awake for 24 hours.

Images: Derek Thomson / Unsplash; Giphy (3)

This Couple’s ‘Handmaid’s Tale’ Wedding Photos Are Hilariously Awful

Remember back in June when Kylie Jenner hosted a Handmaid’s Tale themed birthday party for her good friend Stassie Karanikolaou and everyone was like, “wow what a bizarre and off-base interpretation of a show about female oppression?” Well, one Canadian couple saw that backlash and said, “hold our champagne.” A photo of newlyweds Kendra and Torsten’s (of course their names are Kendra and Torsten) Handmaid’s Tale-themed wedding is going viral, and not really for anything good. I have so many questions. Namely, have these two ever seen The Handmaid’s Tale?

Originally posted by wedding photography company Van Daele and Russell, the couple apparently went with the “dystopian oppression” theme for their photos because they’re from Cambridge, Ontario and the show is filmed in Cambridge, Ontario. But you know what else was filmed in Cambridge, Ontario? The Celine Dion biopic. Why not have a Celine Dion-themed wedding? That would be way more appropriate (and glamorous) than whatever the f*ck this is.

 

View this post on Instagram

 

Praise be! Kendra & Torsten are married! 🙏🏻 If there’s any @handmaidsonhulu fans out there, you’ll know most of it is filmed in Cambridge! So, as fans of the show, it only seemed fitting for there to be some Handmaids in K&T’s wedding photos along the ‘hanging wall’ in Mill Race Park! 🤣🙏🏻👌🏼📸 . . . #handmaidstale #handmaid #handmaidsonhulu #handmaidstaleseason3 #cambridgemill #wedding #weddingphotography #weddingphotographer #couplegoals #weddingwire #weddingwirecanada #theknot #weddingbells #funwedding #vandaelecouple #praisebe #couplegoals #picoftheday #weddingday

A post shared by Van Daele & Russell 📸 (@vandaeleandrussell) on

(Screenshot below because I have a feeling this won’t be up on Instagram for much longer.)

handmaid's tale wedding

The problems with this wedding theme should be immediately obvious to anyone who has even heard of the show, but let’s break it down, shall we? First up, the setting of this photo is literally the “hanging wall” where women are murdere for infractions such as “being gay” and “gossiping at the grocery store.” Not really the fairytale ideal for kicking off your life as a married couple. Also it’s kind of a boring backdrop without all the blood and dead bodies. Just sayin’, if you’re gonna go “hanging wall” for your wedding photos, why not go all the way?

Second of all, the institution of marriage in Handmaid’s Tale is totally horrific. For those who don’t watch the show, men in Gilead are assigned a wife (presumably the bride here) and a handmaid (who I guess are the bridesmaids?). Every month there is a “ceremony” in which the wife holds down the handmaid while the husband has sex with her (also known as “rape”) in hopes of getting her pregnant. When the handmaid does get pregnant, the married couple then steals her baby and sends her away so she can never see the child again. This is the relationship they’re trying to evoke between the bride, groom, and bridesmaids in this picture. How romantic.

Now, I’m not saying fans can’t have any fun with Handmaid’s Tale. The show deals with some pretty intense themes, but ultimately it is still fiction and none of the horrors it depicts are real events or happening to real people, but for a wedding theme? That’s gonna be a no from me. Yes, handmaid costumes are now a pretty familiar site at protests, and there’s nothing wrong with popping on a red cloak and a hat for halloween, but dressing your bridal party up as rape victims feels like a bridge too far.

That said, now that this photo has been released, I need 1,000% more information about this wedding. How far did the Hadmaid’s Tale theme go? Was it just the photos, or did this extend to the entire wedding? Did guests say “Blessed be the fruit” upon arrival? Did they dress the wedding planner up as Aunt Lydia to keep people in line? Did the maid of honor have her clitoris removed? Was the ceremony…a Ceremony? Most importantly, did the entire event end with the bride looking directly to camera while Jackson 5 or some other early sixties bop plays in the background? Because if they are really fans of the show then they’ll know that is the only way to end anything to do with Handmaid’s Tale.

That said, if they used the series’ soundtrack as a guide, the dance floor was probably lit. If guests were even allowed to dance, that is.

Images: vandalaeandrussell / Instagram

This Maid Of Honor Wore A T-Rex Costume To Her Sister’s Wedding

If there’s ever a time when wedding and bridal shaming stories are not a thing, I will find a new planet to live on. Does anything give us life quite so much as pointing out the insanity that is other people’s weddings? Usually the brides—what with their psycho requests, insane organizational charts, and wildly specific hors d’oeuvres  for cocktail hour—are the object of our unabashed shaming, because no one wants hush puppy/crab cake hybrids, Janine. Get a f*cking grip. But this time it’s the Maid of Honor, the girl you depend on to keep you sane on your big special day, who genuinely deserves a good, stern talking to.

Basically, a super chill (I assume) bride told her bridesmaids to go ahead and “wear anything.” Now, usually, and for those of us with firing brain cells, that means picking an acceptable cocktail dress or gown in a color that’s cool with the bride and NOT WHITE. Most of us would send a quick picture of said dress to the bride because we’re such good friends and, ultimately, it’s all about her. There really isn’t anything wild or groundbreaking about this concept, right?

Wrong. This particular bridesmaid decided “f*ck it” and took the bride’s very kind offer extremely literally.

Maid of honor wears a T-Rex costume after being told she could wear ‘anything’ https://t.co/thD48cRXWD pic.twitter.com/PrkqcEwSGq

— New York Post (@nypost) September 4, 2019

Jesus Christ. There’s not a lot to unpack here. Pretty much, this Nebraska bride’s sister and maid of honor, a 38-year-old human woman, decided that an inflatable T-Rex costume was going to be her go-to outfit during her sister’s once-in-a-lifetime day. Like, how interesting and cool and ~quirky~ do you have to attest to be to pull this kind of sh*t? Also, isn’t this kind of crappy to do in the sense that you’re completely taking all focus and attention off of the bride?

The MOH herself uploaded this pic to her Facebook page with the caption, “When you’re maid of honor and told you can wear anything you choose…I regret nothing ?” and it’s been shared more than 34,000 times. So that’s 34,000 people who think this is an acceptable move, and 34,000 reasons my faith in humanity is diminishing.

Sooo what about the bride? Did she also “regret nothing” in telling her sister and MOH to go ahead and wear “whatever”? Will she feel pangs of horror as she looks back on her pics of this super special backyard wedding day, punctuated by an inflatable Halloween costume? 

Searching for T-Rex gifs is not disappointing.

Uhh, no. Apparently, the sister is totally fine with it—much to my disappointment, as I was hoping for a knock-down, drag-out, white trash wedding meets T-Rex fight on the back lawn of this Nevada homestead. “My sister is awesome and I genuinely was not kidding when I said she could wear whatever she wanted,” Deanna Adams, bride, sister, and apparently super forgiving person told the Daily Mail. Christina, the maid of honor, also told the Daily Mail that she sent Deanna a text in advance asking if it was okay if she wore the costume, and she took it off right after the ceremony and wore a dress to the reception because it was super hot.

I mean, if the bride is fine with it, whatever. Invite us to your next shindig, though, so I can break out my Cookie Monster outfit and do a quick costume change into my wacky waving arms inflatable tube man ensemble.

Images: Shutterstock; NYPost / Twitter; Giphy

This Psychotic Proposal Involved Faking A Crime

If you’ve been sleeping too well lately and need some fresh nightmare fuel, you’ve come to the right place. When I read this proposal story, my jaw literally fell to the ground. It’s truly so bad. Honestly, I’m not really into extra proposals in the first place, but usually I can at least smile and nod and say how cute they are. Maybe hot air balloons aren’t my thing, but I try not to judge. Except today. Today I’m judging.

In 2019, it’s really not strange to love true crime. We even have a podcast about it, and there are literally a million documentaries on Netflix and other streaming services. With that being said, I’m not a fan of this trend of fetishizing crime and killers. There’s a big difference between being interested in serial killers and getting horny when you think about them.

Our bride-to-be today is a fellow true crime lover, but apparently she’s in the latter camp who takes things a little too far. She posted on Facebook about her proposal, where it quickly got shared in wedding shaming groups, which is where I found it. Yes, I am in multiple wedding shaming Facebook groups. No, I will not be answering any further questions.

(The white section on the right is where the couple posted a selfie and a photo of the ring, which I blocked out because my therapist says I need to be kinder to people.)

I’m sorry, I need a f*cking minute. I don’t like one bit of what’s happening in this proposal story. First off, if a man EVER tried to wake me up at 4:30 in the morning, me murdering him would be the next big true crime miniseries. To be honest, even if there is an intruder in the house, please just let me sleep. Maybe it’s my time to go. All I know is that I’m not meant to be awake at 4:30am.

But aside from the sh*tty timing here, the real issue is him LYING ABOUT AN INTRUDER IN THE HOUSE. If a man ever, ever, EVER did this to me, I truly don’t even know how I would react. All I know is that I certainly would not end up engaged to this man. He would probably end up dead, or at least seriously wounded. I just can’t even fathom that someone would think this is a good idea, and that someone else would be equally excited to be proposed to in this manner.

Me reading this entire deranged Facebook post:

And then my first question:

I’d also like to point out that having that many candles on the floor seems like a fire hazard, but these two probably have an arson fantasy that they’re just waiting for the honeymoon to try out. To each their own, but I am not a fan of this whole proposal story. At least these two found each other, and may they have a long, happy life full of intruder scares.

Images: Gift Habeshaw / Unsplash; Facebook; Giphy