To quote every bride who has ever done boudoir: “Do it, you won’t regret it!” Whether you’re talking to your friends at brunch, your co-worker at happy hour, or just scanning posts from random girls in a Facebook group, there’s one thing most brides who’ve done boudoir can agree on: it’s f*cking awesome. Whether stripping down to your panties and taking glorified nudes has always been a part of your wedding plan or the new trend just has you thinking about it, we’re breaking down everything you need to know about not only doing a bridal boudoir shoot, but making it your b*tch.
First of all, the idea is scary to almost everyone at first. Getting naked (or naked-ish) in front of a stranger and taking pictures that you’re going to show to at least one other person sounds like a way to get a reality show, not celebrate your upcoming marriage. If taking photos of your scantily-clad body sounds shocking, the price tag can be even more so. The last thing most couples want to do after spending a sh*t ton of money on their wedding (and on potentially rescheduling their weddings, thanks to covid) is spend more money. The engagement photos and wedding photos are already astoundingly pricey, so why would you add another set of pictures onto the final price tag? Basically, because it makes you feel amazing. It makes your spouse feel amazing. And if you’re not going to take bangin’ nude photos of yourself now, when the hell will you?
So, whether you dream of your future husband or wife getting a pic of you rocking your garter (and only your garter) before walking down the aisle or you just want something you can look back on you’re old and wrinkled, here’s everything you need to know about doing a boudoir shoot. Warning: Your pic game is about to level TF up.
Images: D’Nichole Photography LLC
What’s The Investment?
One of the first things you’ll notice when looking for a boudoir photographer is that most of their websites talk about the importance of the investment without saying the prices. That, or you’ll get a cost that will make you low-key want to vomit. A lot of boudoir studios—while professional, talented, and all-inclusive—come with BIG price tags. Not only do you pay for hair and makeup (and sometimes access to their costume closets), but you have to purchase individual photos instead of just getting a Dropbox link with like, 30 pics (which you can then make into a book via Shutterstock or Walgreens for less than $100 as the most amazing wedding gift to your S.O. ever.)
When this is the case, oftentimes the cost of the shoot is anywhere from $100-$500. But, this is just for the shoot itself. After you have a “reveal” session where you can your photographer go through the images, select the ones you like, and add any final edits. This is how the cost gets real expensive, with each photo or file ranging from $10-$100. If you want the photographer to print a book for you, the cost goes up even more.
Don’t get me wrong—these photos are gorgeous, and if you have the means or really want an all-inclusive experience, go for it! But if you’re looking for a cheaper option (which is what I did), there are photographers out there who take photos that are just as gorgeous, but without all the additional fees. For my shoot, which took about an hour and a half, I paid $150. We shot in a gorgeous hotel in Austin (she booked multiple clients throughout the day), I provided my outfits, I did my own hair and makeup, and I even brought my own Champagne. If I do say so myself, the results are as good as people who paid $1,000, with just a little more work on my end.
How Do You Find A Photographer?
Whether you want an all-inclusive experience where you pay per photo or something that costs a little less, the best way to find a photographer is through Instagram. Search hashtags in your city or state (like, #AustinBoudoir #AustinBoudoirPhotography or #AustinBoudoirPhotographer) and do some digging. See whose photos/styles you like and whose you don’t. Doing this, you’ll come across photographers that range from all-inclusive to just getting started. Once you find a few you like, send them an email or DM to get prices, and don’t be afraid to negotiate. If you want something added or removed from a package—or if the shoot is still out of your budget—let them know! Chances are they’ll be able to work with you or refer you to someone else.
Images: Rebecca Jordan Photography
How To Prep Emotionally
Not to sound like some new-age guru, but the key to feeling sexy is to think you’re sexy. No matter how “traditionally” hot you are, chances are you have an area or patch or section you don’t feel great about. Everyone does. Boudoir isn’t one of those “I’ll wait until I lose three pounds” kind of things. It’s more of an “I’m hot exactly as I am” kind of thing. A good photographer works with and celebrates all body types and knows how to pose you so your end results are bomb.
Instead of going into the event feeling scared and shamed, spend some time pumping yourself up, just as you would if a friend was doing the shoot. Compliment yourself. Check yourself out. Focus on everything that makes you a catch and remember that these photos are about feeling good just as much as they are about looking good (but don’t worry, you’re gonna look good—I promise).
Images: D’Nichole Photography LLC
How To Prep (Physically)
While it’s all about feeling good, for most of us, looking good for a big event helps boost self-confidence. First, think about the feel of your shoot. Do you want something casually sexy? Full-glam and sultry? Naughty-yet-bridal? Chat with your photographer, make a Pinterest board with inspiration, and have a plan for how you want the photos to look. Once you do that, prep yourself like you would for any other important situation where photos are involved.
Remove any unwanted body hair, moisturize, utilize those makeup skills you picked up on YouTube, and style your hair to go along with whichever vibe you’re shooting. It’s always a good idea to bring a curling iron, some bobby pins, makeup, and hairspray with you to the shoot (whether you’re doing your own makeup or getting it done professionally) for touchups or a quick changeup of looks. You don’t need to crash diet, cut carbs, or work out endlessly to physically prepare for the shoot. If you aren’t sure which poses flatter your body, ask your photographer for help. Let the pros do their jobs and be kind to your body.
Images: Rebecca Jordan Photography
What Do You Wear?
It should come as no surprise that you can pretty much wear (or not wear) anything to a shoot and make it sexy. While heading to the shoot (or waiting for the photographer to arrive), however, wear loose-fitting clothes to help eliminate any unwanted creases in your skin. When it comes time for the shoot, here are a few favorites to create some ~memorable~ images:
- Your bridal lingerie set (for the night of the wedding)
- Any lingerie set
- A piece of your future spouse’s clothes, like a jersey or tie
- Loooong socks and an oversized sweater
- Your wedding veil and garter
- High heels and over-the-knee boots
- A corset and thong
- A silk robe
- A white, fluffy towel
Just a note, the more you bring, the better. You never know what inspiration will strike, what lighting will look great, or what outfit you’ll wish you would have worn. While it’s important to try on all of your looks ahead of time (just to ensure everything fits and feels good), throw some extras in your bag as well.
Images: D’Nichole Photography LLC
What Happens At The Shoot?
While every photographer and experience is different, in general, it’s all pretty straightforward. You’ll arrive at the venue (or they’ll come to you). You’ll chit-chat for a few minutes. You’ll go over ideas and inspiration for the shoot (if you haven’t shown them your inspiration photos, now’s the time). Then, you’ll throw on some music, pop some Champagne, and get changed while they test the lighting.
After that, just follow the photographer’s lead—they’ll help you pose. The key to great pictures is to keep moving. Pretend you’re on America’s Next Top Model and just do sh*t. Dance around, flip your hair, move your face in different ways and directions. Arch your back, arch your feet, grab your boobs. Laugh, don’t laugh, pout, preen. The more you move, the more options you’ll have. Your photographer will direct you but don’t be afraid to speak up. Want to try something? Just say it. It’s your shoot, and their job is to create images for you. It’s better to do tons of different poses (no matter how silly you feel randomly crawling on the floor) so there are lots of options when it comes time to select your favorite photos.
Images: D’Nichole Photography LLC
How To Make It Not Weird
Before booking the shoot (or while finalizing the preparations), make sure your photographer is cool with you bringing a friend or two along. Pick pals who are not only pros at posing (yes, the friend with lots of followers will come in handy here), but aren’t afraid to both direct you and hype you up. While you want to be told how great you look, you also want to be told if you’d look a million times better if you just turned to your left half an inch. Give them your inspo Pinterest board so they can speak up about any additional looks you might want to accomplish and have them at the ready for fixing stray hairs, smudged makeup, or letting you know when you need to pull your cleavage up.
Additionally, a playlist that makes you want to dance around is your secret weapon. Blast all of your cheesy, feel-good, belt-at-the-top-of-your-lungs music. While the end result of boudoir is great, enjoying the experience and letting yourself feel like a f*cking rockstar will make you love it before you even see the end result. Also, it should go without saying, but Champagne is an absolute essential.
First comes love, then comes coronavirus, then comes the influx of Zoom weddings in 2020. If you’re a human existing on Planet Earth rn, congrats! Life majorly sucks. Jobs, lives, and financial stability are being ripped out from underneath us, and we can’t even have nice things like happy hours or big open bar weddings to alleviate some of that sadness. As more and more couples have had to ditch their original plans and scale wayyy back on their Pinterest-inspired nuptials, technological ceremonies are officially on the rise.
While hosting a virtual affair is one thing, attending a Zoom wedding is a whole other situation. Granted, this is a very new concept so the kinks are still being sorted out, but just like with a traditional in-person ceremony, ensuring you’re not being a d*ck at a streamed wedding is just as important. “Much like an in-person wedding, look to the wedding invite for clues—even if it’s an email invite or a quick text with a Zoom link,” advises Lauren Kay, executive editor of The Knot. That will give you an insight into how to move forward without making your pals more upset than they already are.
But to break it down further, we’re covering what to wear, whether or not to send a gift, and what you should (and shouldn’t do) to be the best Zoom wedding guest possible. Because honestly, if we can’t give our friends their dream weddings, the literal least we can do is not be total pieces of sh*t at their on-screen celebrations.
Do You Give A Gift?
One of the most upsetting parts of this whole “changing your plans” thing (IMO) is the lack of gifts. I love gifts. Everyone loves gifts. So, if events are being canceled or scaled back, there’s a chance gifts are as well, and for some engaged couples, they’re really counting on that blender/bar cart/contribution to their cash fund. Basically, if they’re scaling back and only having a small ceremony/celebration, send them a gift as usual, whether or not you’re actually attending their event.
If they’re having a minimony now and a party later, consider splitting your gift amount in half and giving them something for both occasions, if you can afford it. “I’d recommend giving something now and something later,” advises Kay. Some of the best options for a gift amid the pandemic are things off of their registry that they can use, like board games or a cocktail set so they can practice their mixology skills (or drink their sorrows) at home. “A ‘now’ gift softens the blow of a postponement/virtual ceremony ever so slightly, and what better time to learn a new skill?” notes Kay.
What TF Do You Wear?
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remember when our hardest decision was who to invite to our weddings? Now it’s which online streaming platform to use.😫 beautiful lake house corona elopement story submitted by @waverlyrood: “Our big wedding was planned in Savannah for April 18th but we had to postpone due to corona, so we had a tiny ceremony at my groom’s lake house – his brother officiated and just our parents were in attendance & friends over zoom!! We are so happy and can’t wait to celebrate with everyone in September.”
By now, most of us are so used to showing up ugly on video chats, we don’t even think twice about our appearance. Greasy hair, stained pajamas, and pimple cream dotting our faces is the new WFH uniform. While it might seem silly to dress up just to stay home and watch a glitchy ceremony on your laptop screen, the effort you put in will go a long way for the couple. “Check the couple’s wedding website to see if they mention anything about a preferred dress code,” suggests Kay. “When in doubt, air on the celebratory side. Dress as you might have for the postponed celebration—even if it’s only from the waist up.”
Dress to impress, because if all else fails, you’ll at least get to see if you still remember how to put makeup on and can pop off an Instagram where you look somewhat like the former self who used to get dressed and do fun things. If not for love, do it for the likes.
What’s The Tech Etiquette?
“You’re tuning in to celebrate the couple, so keep the focus on them,” reminds Kay. Even though you’re sitting at home and not at a fancy venue, it doesn’t mean all etiquette is out the window. Mute your mic, speak only if asked/when it’s appropriate, respect any requests to avoid photography, and choose a background that fits the theme but isn’t in-your-face. No matter how much the couple likes The Office, this isn’t the time to whip out a picture of Michael Scott. “Find a simple background (think: no distractions) with good lighting so your excitement can be seen by the newlyweds,” suggests Kay.
What Else Do I Need To Know?
“Virtual weddings are still fairly new, so there aren’t any hard and fast rules. That being said, be a good guest—much like you’d be in person,” says Kay. Which is pretty self-explanatory, but just in case you think virtual weddings are an excuse to be an asshole, here’s your official notice: they’re not. “Log on at the designated time and follow any requests of the couple (think: attire, “bring something to toast with us,” etc.). Be attentive and respectful, making your congratulations known to the couple at the appropriate time,” she advises.
While it might seem like this new take on weddings means you get to be less present (or give fewer presents), give your friends the same courtesy they gave you when they shelled out thousands just to hook up with some drunk groomsmen when it was your turn.
Images: SHTTEFAN / Unsplash
There are a whole range of emotions you might experience when receiving a wedding invitation in the mail, depending on who’s tying the knot and where. Whether it’s pure excitement and overwhelming joy, or soul-crushing dread that makes you wish you had a root canal planned for that exact date and time, after your knee-jerk reaction mellows out, it’s time to start thinking about a gift. While modern-day registries have made wedding gift giving that much easier, there’s still a lot of gray area when it comes to what you should give and how much to pay. We’ve laid out how much you should spend based on your situation.
If You’re Close Friends With The Couple And Going Solo…
I think the best gift you can give someone for their wedding is a gift with an included, pre-written self-addressed and stamped thank you card
— Dana Schwartz (@DanaSchwartzzz) August 20, 2018
The overall rule of thumb when it comes to gift giving is that the closer you are to the couple, the nicer your gift should be. While you don’t need to get them the $700 Dyson vacuum from their registry, you might consider getting the nicer knife set or buying the couples massage from their honeymoon fund. There’s no direct correlation to the number of years you’ve been friends and the amount of money you should spend (which would make things a lot easier), but don’t you think your close college friend deserves more from you than a $50 gift card to Bed Bath & Beyond? Close friends should plan to spend between $100-$150.
If You’re Bringing A Plus-One. . .
Again, it’s important to think of this in terms of your relationship with the couple. Your guest most likely doesn’t know the couple as well as you do, so you shouldn’t go in evenly on the gift. You should still plan to spend the amount you deem appropriate based on how well you know the couple, and then—this is where it gets tricky—based on your relationship with your date, see if they want to chip in. If you’ve been dating for a while, and they’ve met the couple, you might consider splurging for something nicer than you normally would get if you were going solo and have your guest chip in. For example, plan to spend $200 and then have your date contribute anywhere between $50-$75 depending on your relationship and how well they know the couple getting married. If you’re in the early stages of your relationship, you might want to cover the cost yourself. Nothing will drive away your new fling like asking them to chip in on an Air Fryer for someone they’ve never met.
If You’re In The Wedding Party. . .
There’s been a weird myth circulating around that if you’re in the wedding party, you don’t need to get the newlyweds a gift. Well, that’s about as real as any Real Housewife’s boobs. If you are in the wedding party, you still need to get the couple a gift. Yes, I know, I know, you already spent money on their shower gift, their bachelor/ette party, a groomsman suit or bridesmaid dress for the wedding, the list goes on. But that does not get you out of giving them a gift on their wedding day. And yes, it should be a nice one. Being in the wedding party does not give you permission to be stingy when it comes to a wedding gift. Plan to spend around $150 or more.
If You’re Not That Close With The Couple. . .
The only way I'm coming to your wedding is if YOU get ME a gift. You just found lifelong love, I think I deserve a blender more than you do.
— Jamie Woodham (@jwoodham) September 30, 2014
You’re a coworker or an old college friend who only made it on the list because you invited them to your wedding. If that’s the case, don’t feel like you need to go all out with a gift. The couple is supposed to provide a range of prices on their registry so you should be able to find something around $50-$75 that you feel comfortable with. If you’re not super close with the couple, it would be strange if you got them the fanciest china on their registry. It’s okay to just get the mixing bowl or the throw blanket and call it a day.
If You’re Not Attending The Wedding. . .
If you can’t make the wedding, you still need to send a gift. RSVPing “no” doesn’t get you out of choosing something off their registry or writing a check. Even if you feel like you were only invited because the couple wanted more gifts, then unfortunately, they’re evil geniuses, so pay up. Think of it as your “I’m sorry I can’t make it” gift. For something like this you can plan to pay around $50.
If Your Parents Are Also Attending. . .
This really depends on how often your parents still allow you to mooch off of them. I, for one, have never felt more abandoned by my parents than when they told me I had to get my own gift for my cousin’s wedding. I felt like an orphan! I’d always just signed the card and my parents would write the check. No stress of perusing the registry or figuring out how much money to
waste spend on the couple, but this time it had to be straight from me. I’d be lying if I said it felt good, so if your parents are still willing to put your name on the gift, for the love of God, let them and don’t question it (also can they be my parents??). If your parents are okay with you piggy-backing on their gift let them handle the politics of how much to spend, but if you’re on your own plan to spend $75-$100 on a family member.
The world of gift giving is a complicated gray area that’s hard for wedding guests to navigate. And by no means is this like, the law, but rather a guideline you can follow without feeling like you went way overboard or cheaped out on a wedding gift.
Images: Yomex Owo/Unsplash
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For some reason, the biggest wedding faux pas of all time is to straight-up ask for a cash gift. This isn’t the 1950s, so it isn’t everyone’s dream to get a Crock Pot or a new set of knives as a wedding gift (but both of those things are awesome IMO, #adulting). Chances are you and your soon-to-be spouse have been shacking up for a while now (forgive me Father for I have sinned), and your place is probably furnished. So like, you don’t really need another KitchenAid mixer or a bunch of plates because you bought that stuff years ago. Thankfully it’s 2019 and we’ve finally figured out how couples can get what they really want from their guests: money. Here’s how to do it tactfully.
Websites like Zola and Honeyfund have ushered the concept of wedding gifts into the 21st century by giving couples an option to register for items unrelated to houseware. You can ask for money towards your honeymoon, home renovations, an activity, or another large purchase. Guests will feel better about gifting money when you tell them how you’re planning on spending their money. Without enough context, older guests might be convinced they’re funding your next kegger, so be as explicit as possible by asking for things like a couple’s massage on your honeymoon, or a new couch for your living room, so they don’t shy away from giving you that sweet cash.
Don’t Put It On Your Invitation
Guests probably won’t react well if your wedding invitation has your Venmo handle on the bottom of it. You might be tempted to stamp “bring me cash!!!” on the envelope, but try your best to resist. On your wedding website you can provide a link to your cash registry, which will heavily imply what you’d like (which in this case, is cash). We’re moving into the 21st century by being able to give money, but let’s keep things classy when it comes to invitation language.
Spread The Word
me to my family: can you just write me a check and leave me the F alone?
— betchesbrides (@betchesbrides) April 16, 2019
We all have that bridesmaid who doesn’t STFU. Normally she’s the only one you can’t tell anything to, but we’ve actually got the perfect job for her. Let her know that you and your fiancé would prefer a cash gift, and (mouthing) off she’ll go. If people ask you what you’d like for your wedding, don’t be afraid to be honest. Let them know you have a lot of home goods already and you’d love them to contribute to your honeymoon or a big furniture purchase. Again, telling them explicitly where their check will go will make them feel better about not giving a physical gift.
Set Out A Card Box At The Wedding
Let’s be real, when you see “cards” written on a wooden box at a wedding, what the couple really means is, “Help me, I’m poor”. Setting one of these by the guest book or the escort card table will let guests know you’re open to receiving checks. Don’t go as far as having the ushers walk up to guests during cocktail hour asking for donations (this isn’t church), but setting it out as an option for guests is a subtle way to ask for dolla dolla bills.
Give People Options
once you accept you’re going to be bleeding money, the entire wedding process will start to get a litttttle bit easier
— betchesbrides (@betchesbrides) July 25, 2019
No matter how badly you don’t want a traditional registry, you’ll probably have guests that are sticklers when it comes to tradition (for example, my mother), so it’s a good idea to create one in case people are committed to giving you a physical gift. There are still dozens of options for non-traditional registry gifts, like sports equipment or bar accessories, so you don’t have to get stuck asking for baking trays or a mixing stand if you’d never use those. At the end of the day, people are going to give you whatever gift they feel most comfortable with, so you might as well be prepared with a traditional registry in case.
Images: betchesbrides / Twitter; betchesbrides / Instagram
If you’ve got a fresh ring on your left hand, the wedding planning process wheels are probably already turning in your head. Everything from getting your photographer nailed down to sending out Save The Dates to picking your venue and food—it’s a lot to digest. As you’re going broke and insane trying to put together all of the moving pieces that form a wedding, you’re probably fantasizing about the envelopes of cash and checks you’ll get to stuff in your bag on your way to the honeymoon. But… will you be able to count on those cash gifts, or are you going to be going on a budget beach trip to the Dominican Republic because all of his relatives insisted on buying towels, china, and pitchers?
Cash gifts have evolved more as the “norm” in the last 20 or so years, since more couples are living together before tying the knot—sort of nixing the need for the traditional housewares associated with wedding gifts. According to The Atlantic, the practice of giving the bride and groom household gifts started way back in the Renaissance, when a bride would drag a hope chest with her down the aisle (I assume), full of things like brooms and fabrics and whatever the f*ck else was considered a household necessity in 1500 (maybe, like, also plague repellent).
Depending where you live, you can expect a lot or a little in terms of cash for your wedding. Many Northeast U.S. folks treat cash gifts as the standard, but there are still plenty of hold-outs that still believe cash is tacky and gifts like irons and towels are the way to go (looking at you, Southeast U.S.). What’s a tactful way to ensure you do have a fistful of Benjamins and not a cabinet of useless sh*t after you say “I do” ? We scoured the internet and found stories and advice on the best and worst ways couples have kindly requested cash wedding gifts. We hereby present it to you as a guide to navigate getting that money, honey.
Don’t Ask For Cash Outright
Wedding Gift Request Honeymoon Money Personalized Enclosure Card
The biggest f*ck-up couples seem to make is to explicitly ask for cash on their invitations or at a pre-wedding party. One bride-to-be (on Reddit, the home of all tacky wedding occurrences) outright asked her guests for cash wedding gifts at their engagement party—which she and the husband-to-be threw for themselves, which is an etiquette no-no in and of itself. When no one brought said cash, she sent angry texts demanding to know why. As you can imagine, most people were insulted that the couple would outright ask for money and would then confront them about it later. The bride is now considering un-inviting all the “mean people.” (I have to wonder who will remain in attendance.)
First of all, yikes. Secondly, a way around literally hounding your guests for money is to simply nix the traditional registry altogether or have a very, very small registry with only a few gifts available. This subconsciously and politely sends the message that you’re in the market for envelopes and not a new king sheet set.
Use A Funding Website
If you’re planning on using cash and check for a honeymoon excursion, there are plenty of websites that host trip-specific registries so guests can pay toward activities, dinners, spa retreats, and whatever other activities you’re planning on taking part in. Honeyfund, for instance, breaks everything down for gift-givers depending what you, the bride and groom, have specified you want. From upgrading airline tickets to adding dinners to tacking on snorkeling adventures, guests can pick and choose how much and what they want to sponsor on your honeymoon.
If you want to go a more intermediary route, Zola is an all-in-one registry that has the honeymoon registry pieces like Honeyfund, but also allows you to register for physical gifts so Aunt Diane feels better about being able to finally get those dish towels you need. You can even add options like putting a down payment on a house, so the options are endless and you can still get money.
Make It Feel Personal
One couple on Reddit defied expectations by not being tacky and leaned on their ethnic customs to get around the whole asking-for-cash thing. They wrote, “If you decide to give a gift, we prefer the Chinese custom of a red envelope, called hong bao, to help us start our lives.” Basically, the Chinese tradition of the red envelope with cash is twofold—it helps set the couple up financially, and it’s considered good luck. If you aren’t Chinese, you can put a note in the same vein on your wedding website.
How do you do that without being déclassé or culturally appropriating? Add a personal touch. Perhaps you’re having a really hard time buying a house as a couple, or just invested a fixer-upper, or are going back to school, and that cash would go pretty far. Whatever the reason, giving your guests a story to connect to their financial contributions will make them feel better about just throwing dollas at you, figuratively.
Mention The Gift Setup
There are, obviously, much better ways to imply that you’re into the idea of cash money without saying, “B*tch better have my money” to grandma. One couple from Australia put in their invitation their regular registry, but additionally, noted that there’d be a “wishing well” at the reception. After some in-depth Googling, I found out that a wishing well is the equivalent of those boxes or birdcages for envelopes we in America love so dearly. Oh, Australia—so wise, so strange.
Although I wouldn’t outright say, “hey, we’ll have a box for money in the cocktail area” you could say something on the RSVP card like “Check our wedding website for more information.” From there, you can explain whatever gift setup and/or birdcage you plan on having. This is still sort of tacky, but if you feel the need to spell it out, go for it.
Spread The Word Quietly
Since putting that you want cash in writing anywhere on a Save The Date or invitation is in bad taste, make sure your parents, future in-laws, and wedding party all know that you and your beloved would greatly prefer cash gifts over physical stuff. Chances are, aunts, uncles, grandparents, and close family friends are going to reach out and ask those folks anyway what you all want as gifts, and it’ll be gentler coming from mom and dad versus scrawled on the bottom of an invitation.
Altogether, no matter what you do or how you do or don’t ask for cash, just make sure you’re taking notes on what not to do from that bride that demanded $1,500 per guest for her dream wedding.