While a typical engagement doesn’t last 10 years (although it might feel like it), there are some popular wedding trends that have been around that long. Look, I love a good wedding detail that’s a little off the beaten path—it keeps things fresh—but like your d*ck of an ex, some things are meant to be forgotten. Here are seven overused wedding trends we should leave behind in the 2010s and never look back.
To be honest with you, I was never a big fan of this nature-inspired hair accessory, even when it first came on the bridal scene. I never quite understood why someone would voluntarily opt for a headpiece that was once covered in dirt when there are so many more stylish options out there that will last longer than your bridesmaid’s latest f*ck buddy. I get that it might have a whimsical, free-spirit vibe that you’re trying to give off, but take a yoga class or try out aromatherapy instead. Nobody came to your wedding to see you try out your newfound inner Janis Joplin. Please spare us and opt for a rose gold headpiece if you still want to be
The idea of a photo booth is extremely repetitive. First of all, you’re paying thousands of dollars for a professional to basically be your paparazzi for the night. If you want pictures of all your guests making silly faces, place your photog in the middle of the dance floor when “I’ve Gotta Feeling” by the Black Eyed Peas comes on and everyone’s 4+ drinks deep. There’s also a very high probability that your guests have their cell phones with them and will take more than enough impromptu selfies. Set up a shared folder, ask all your guests to drop in their images from the night before, and there you have it. You’ve created your own digital photo booth without spending a dime. You’re welcome.
Over-the-Top Rustic Details
It’s time for a rustic intervention. Everyone stop what you’re doing and put down the re-purposed window panes, the entire tree’s worth of wood slices, the old dresser drawers full of mason jars, and the football field’s worth of burlap. It’s too. much. At this point people are digging through their grandma’s attic to find anything from before 1980 and made of wood to use as wedding decor. You don’t need to do this! I promise there are plenty of other decorative elements out there that will help you evoke the rustic vibe you’re looking for. Ask your wedding planner for help and don’t resort to random crap from a yard sale. Lauren Conrad might be able to pull off a wedding adorned with charming flea market items, but I assure you, you cannot.
A lot of people have already done away with dressing their bridesmaids to make them look exactly the same, but I’m officially declaring it dead. You heard it here first. With literally millions of options for bridesmaids out there, there’s no reason to dress all of them the exact same. They’re your friends, not your Barbie dolls. Mix-and-match bridesmaid dresses doesn’t have to mean letting them pick whatever the hell they want. Whether you pick a specific dress for them to wear and let them select their neckline, or you offer them a range of color options in a specific style, we believe in giving direction but not making them look unidentifiable.
Please don’t @ me for this one. I know it’s a long-held tradition that didn’t just become a thing this decade, but it was alive and well at many celebrations over the last 10 years and it shouldn’t be. Not only does it call major attention to the single people (doesn’t playing “Single Ladies” by Beyoncé do enough damage ?), but I for one cringe from secondhand embarrassment when I see the groom crawl up the bride’s dress to retrieve the garter. But hey, if you feel confident enough to do that with your grandma in the front row, more power to you.
Social Media Wedding Planners
For some strange reason a surplus of wedding social media services became trendy this decade. If you’re not sure what I’m referring to, there were literally companies you could hire to do the social media for your wedding. Like your wedding is its own f*cking brand. From helping you come up with a hashtag and helping your guests use it, to gathering all the images your guests took the night before (isn’t that the purpose of a hashtag?), this pretty much just seems like a fake job you’d see on The Bachelor. None of these tasks require hiring and paying someone, so I beg of you, don’t fall into this money trap.
I admit, I’ve fallen victim to the power of Etsy many times. I go wild adding everything to my cart, like creative signage, guest book options, etc. before I realize I’m about to check out with $2K worth of crafts in my cart. My advice? Slow down. Do you really need 15 signs that point guests towards the bathroom? Is it really necessary to paint every guest’s name on their napkin? When you find yourself obsessively clicking “add to cart”, step away from the computer and remember you’re not Oprah and you don’t have an endless supply of cash.
I’m just a girl standing in front all you brides-to-be asking you to help me in my pilgrimage to leave the trends of the last decade behind us. I promise, there are many more new trends coming this decade for you to abuse!
Fall weddings are very popular, and with good reason. Call me basic, but I f*cking love fall, and if one day some brave man does decide to marry me, you can bet your bottom dollar we’ll be having a fall wedding. Fall is the most ideal time of year for a wedding because of the crisp, cool temperatures and prime weather conditions. It’s not as cold as winter, where you have to take into account whether the possible risk of frostbite is worth ~slaying~ in your mini dress. And, at the same time, it’s not aggressively hot like summer where you have to hold your boobs on the dance floor in fear of sweating off your sticky bra! Yes, I’ve clearly found myself in the aforementioned scenario more than once.
Anyway, if you’re lucky enough to be invited to a fall wedding, then you need to make sure you’re dressed both seasonally- and event-appropriate. First things first, when it comes to dressing for any wedding, you need to take into account the level of formality along with the theme and overall “vibe.” From there, you take into account the actual season. So, since we’re honing in on fall right now, you want to dress in similar defining characteristics of the season, such as deep cool colors, rich burnt tones, dusty muted neutrals, and dense fabrics. This also means you can embrace fall patterns like fall florals, plaids, and herringbone prints. Of course, your dress doesn’t need to adhere to all of these guidelines (and probably shouldn’t because you would look crazy), but it should at least touch on a few in order to be considered seasonally appropriate. Here are my top picks for what to wear as a guest to a wedding this fall.
1. ASOS DESIGN Shirred Pleated Midi Dress, $60
The dusty rose color of this dress is the perfect hue of a feminine pink that’s still rich enough for fall. Not only is the color perfect for the occasion, the three-quarter sleeves plus midi length give it an extra touch of fall-appropriate vibes. I’m obsessed with the pleats and slight balloon sleeve which overall elevate the dress overall and add interesting detail. Interesting detail like the one my weirdo cousin failed to include on the wedding invite to let me know that it was going to be a cash bar. Uh, I don’t have extra funds to splurge on celebrating YOUR love, thanks.
2. Love Like You Burgundy Slip Mini Dress, $98
A slip dress in a burgundy jewel tone is a great option to wear to a fall wedding. Although it’s not exactly going to keep you warm, it still works for a fall wedding because the color is rich and the fabric is dressy. You could also easily just throw on a cute tailored jacket or oversized blazer to wear over the dress into the actual wedding. That way, you won’t feel immediately compelled to head to the bar post-ceremony to get an alcohol blanket going.
3. Lovers + Friends Lazo Midi Dress, $173
This dress is totally fall-appropriate with its burnt orange hue and midi-length silhouette. It’s elevated without being over the top, and has a few essential fall characteristics that make it seasonally appropriate. It’s also a bold enough color to garner a little extra attention for when you’re attending a wedding solo as the most single person there.
4. Privacy Please Jasmyn Mini Dress, $120
This gorgeous nude color dress is a dream combo of boho and classy, while also still somehow girly and cool. The tulle sleeves and bottom hem allow it to be a fall-appropriate dress while also still remaining somewhat breathable. It’s very fashionable without being too try-hard, cause we all know that’s NEVER the look.
5. Last Forever Navy Blue One-Shoulder Maxi Dress, $58
This navy maxi dress is ideal for a fall black-tie wedding. This dress is elevated, stylish, and unbelievably affordable. I’m not sure what more you could ask for besides like, maybe a hot plus-one as your date? Oh, and definitely an open bar.
As I mentioned, it’s important to first understand the dressiness level and theme of the wedding before selecting your dress. It might be weird to wear the one-shoulder maxi above to a casual wedding, so just do your homework. And by “do your homework” I mean just actually take a second to read the invitation, k?
Images: Omid Armin / Unsplash; ASOS; South Moon Under; Revolve (2); Lulus
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Look, I know weddings are expensive. Like, unreasonably expensive. So after worrying about paying for your extravagant
fairytale Insta-worthy wedding for months on end, the last thing you’re going to want to worry about is figuring out what you’re going to wear for your rehearsal dinner. And, you definitely won’t want to pay a fortune for it, either. So, in my neverending quest to help make your life easier (at least in the fashion department) here are five dresses perfect for your rehearsal dinner that are all under $200. So now you can get back to obsessing over the important stuff, like whether the flowers you picked for the centerpieces (that cost way more than you’ll ever admit to your soon-to-be husband) will even photograph well.
1. Lulu’s White Bodycon Strapless Ruffle Dress, $59
Simple, classic, and perfect for your rehearsal dinner, this strapless dress is everything you want and need in your dress for your pre-wedding affair. It’s elegant and beautiful, and the ruffle adds a stunning elevated detail. Plus, at a mere $59, you could even afford to allow your annoying af cousin to bring his plus-one. Er, maybe not considering last time he brought someone to a family event it was a random girl who got so blacked out she couldn’t even walk. Either way, with how affordable this dress is you at least have the option to do so. I mean, at least if he does bring her then he’d be so busy taking care of her that he wouldn’t have time to annoy all your other guests. So that’s a plus.
2. Amanda Uprichard Evalina Dress, $198
This dress is the epitome of a classy bride. Like, the bride showing up to her rehearsal dinner in this timeless dress totally has her sh*t together. It’s simple, yet fashionable and practical. It’s effortlessly beautiful and vvv Amal Clooney vibes. And I mean, she’s the woman who locked down America’s most eligible bachelor of all time. So if it’s good enough for Amal, it’s good enough for you.
3. UO Mallory Cowl Neck Slip Dress, $49
I’m obsessed with the feminine, delicate look of this white slip dress. It’s cheap, and you could easily wear it again, but it’s also still totally perfect for this specific occasion. Again, it’s effortlessly stylish and gives the illusion that you’re a cool, chill bride. Ya know, it totally disguises the fact that you’re a Type-A Bridezilla who should probably be caged for the safety of everyone else around you.
4. ELLIATT Frida Dress, $170
Unlike the last dress, this dress lets your guests know that you’re a high-maintenance bride who takes this whole wedding thing v seriously. And for how much it’s costing you, understandably so. It’s supes stylish and has dramatic detailing and like, the design is kinda extra…but I mean, your whole wedding is extra, so respect for staying true to your brand.
5. BCBGeneration Ruffle Sleeve Mini Dress, $118
Playful, flirty, yet totally classy, this dress says “Yeah, I may get a lil drunk at the rehearsal dinner, but the only person who will know about it is my soon-to-be husband.” It’s cute and simple, and does the job. Kinda like your niece as the flower girl, who better not dare upstage you on your big day. Just drop the flowers, and fall in line, sweetie.
Overall, your dress should represent you and the overall vibe of your wedding. Like, if you’re having a huge glamorous wedding, it would be weird and confusing to wear a casual white maxi to the rehearsal dinner. You want to use the rehearsal dinner to set the tone for the whole wedding, so don’t go too casual if it’s a black tie wedding or else you risk your guests thinking it’s way more lax than it actually is. And the last thing you need is your guests showing up too casual and ruining all your photos. Like, you’re going to be TB-ing those pics on Insta for years to come, so your guests better f*cking get it right. No need for you to contribute to their incompetencies.
Images: Melody Jacob / Unsplash; Lulus; Revolve (3); Urban Outfitters
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Look, I love weddings. I love getting drunk and I love getting dressed up—all in the name of eternal love, of course. But, what I don’t like is the confusing wedding dress codes. Like, I’m a smart girl. I have a college degree. But I don’t know wtf it means when the dress code for your wedding is “dressy casual”? Or black tie optional? Like, it should be black tie, period. Right? Don’t throw “optional” in there and start making me overthink everything. I’m spending a lot of money to be a guest at YOUR wedding, the least you could do is give me a straight-up answer about what the dress code is. But, since that’s not going to actually happen, I’m here to break down the four primary wedding dress codes: casual, cocktail, formal, and black tie. So, in an attempt to help you all out, here are the four main wedding dress codes and what to wear for each!
Casual, also known as “informal”, is probably the easiest yet most confusing dress code of them all. Like, my version of “casual” is leggings and a hoodie, but I’m pretty sure that’s not what the bride meant when she said “casual” on the invitation. Everyone has their own interpretation of what casual means—just ask my co-worker who seems to think casual Fridays means you can wear a graphic tee that says “future queen” across the chest to the office. So in regards to “casual” I would align your outfit with the theme or the setting of the wedding, and always err on the side of being too dressed up, rather than not dressy enough. For example, casual for a beach wedding may be a maxi dress, while casual at a restaurant venue may require a more polished outfit, such as a jumpsuit or matching set.
Show Me Your Mumu Emanuelle Smocked Top and Marley Shorts
superdown Karolyn Square Neck Jumpsuit
Under The Moon Light Patchwork Maxi Dress
Cocktail attire is synonymous with mini dress and heels. Of course, you don’t have to necessarily wear a mini dress, but think that vibe. Your accessories, makeup, and hair should definitely be more elevated than what you’d wear for a casual wedding, but also not as extravagant as black tie. So like, don’t wear your best Claire’s accessories, but also don’t wear your family diamonds. Make sense? Hopefully, your answer is “yes” since you can’t actually respond to me. Cool, moving on. Here are some dresses to wear.
superdown Oriana Ribbed Halter Dress
Lovers + Friends Jay Blazer Dress
ASOS DESIGN Square Neck Midi Pencil Dress
3. Formal/Black Tie Optional
Okay, so here’s where I’ll do some clarifying because, to be frank, I’ve always been confused over the difference between cocktail and formal. So, the first key difference I’ll address here is that formal is also the same as black tie optional. Why not just say formal??? Beats me. Like why do you have to include that it’s optional? Technically, everything is optional, but that’s not the f*cking point of a dress code. GAWD! Basically you can wear a short or long dress, it’s up to you. But you better have heels on and you better still wear something that wouldn’t make you stand out in a group picture. When it’s formal, men may wear tuxes, so you have to be prepared for if they do, and make sure your ensemble matches their dressy level accordingly. Classic catering to the man #patriarchy.
Cara One-Shoulder Micro Mini Dress
UO Flamenco Ruffle Tie-Back Slip Dress
Nookie Lust One Shoulder Gown
4. Black Tie
Black tie is my favorite dress code because it’s the simplest and gives you an excuse to wear a gown. Which like, I don’t know about you, but I haven’t been able to wear a legit gown since prom. Call me basic, but I just love the princess feeling of a long dress. Sue me. This should go without saying, but gown doesn’t mean a big poofy dress that gives the bride a run for her money, nor a maxi that just happens to be long dress either. You have to get something elegant and not just like, a long sun dress.
Yaura Off Shoulder Thigh Split Maxi Dress
NBD Luna Gown
Shona Joy Luxe Bias Cowl Slip Dress
Hopefully this guide to wedding dress codes at least helps give you some form of guideline of what the f*ck to wear. Worst case, if you still mess it up, just get drunk at the open bar and then no one will remember you as the girl who dressed inappropriately. Instead, you’ll just be the girl who got blacked out and grinded on all the groomsmen. Up to you to pick your poison here.
Images: Eric Ward / Unsplash; Revolve (7); Free People (2); Asos (2); Urban Outfitters;
It’s officially wedding season, and personally, I’m kinda iffy on whether that’s a good thing or not. On the “fuck this” side of things, I have to buy a stupid gift, do the goddamn “Wobble” and pretend to be excited for a couple that in five years is probs going to be either living in silent misery or divorced. On the plus side of things, there’s unlimited free booze (and if not, do NOT go) and I get to buy a bunch of fierce AF clothes. Obvi. And because I’m the fucking nicest, I’m gonna help you figure out what to wear by telling you what the different wedding wardrobe staples say about you. You’re welcome in advance.
Little Black Dress
If this is your wedding go-to, you’re a classic sophisticated betch. Congratulations. You know what looks good on you and there’s no need to reinvent the fucking fashion wheel when you know damn well if you wear something else, you’re going to wish you had gone with your LBD. Some people might say you shouldn’t wear black to a wedding, but there’s never a reason to not wear black in our book. IRL, you’re a young professional who knows how to get shit done but can still throw down like it’s freshman year. People like you but know not to fuck with you either.
You probs already know this about yourself, but you’re basic AF if you wear flower print shit to most of the weddings you go to. You got the couple a Mr. and Mrs. frame or a Kate Spade gold polka dot ice bucket as a present instead of cash like they wanted. Your favorite part of the wedding is a three-way tie between the first dance, bouquet toss, and singing the sorority wedding chant. You’re the standard nice girl of every friend group you’re a part of, and people like you but kinda wish you’d shut up with all your friendly, never mean commentary.
When you’re getting ready for a wedding and, more times than not, you reach for a jumpsuit, you’re somewhat of a try-hard. You look at weddings as a chance to show off in front of friends you haven’t seen in a while and are fucking livid if you get less than eight compliments about how great you look. If someone asks you “if you’re next” you tell them you’re focused on yourself and your career and still have things to accomplish before being tied down, but you’re a fucking liar and actually want to rip that veil of the bride’s head. Props for your dedication to looking hot, though. With all those vodka sodas, going to the bathroom is going to be a real bitch.
White, Ivory, Blush, etc.
Breaking News: If you wear white or anything close to it to a wedding that’s not yours, you are the fucking worst. There are probably more people in this world that can’t stand you than people that actually like you and that’s why you just DGAF about pissing everyone off. You don’t mind when people talk shit about you… In fact, you kind of like it because at least you’re the center of attention. You def can’t sit with us.
You’re single and you look at weddings as an opportunity to hook up with the hottest, most available groomsmen there. You’re not as snobby as your friend in the jumpsuit or as narcissistic as the non-bride in white, but your confidence always makes you a standout and everyone notices you. You’re the hottest girl in the room without looking trashy, which is a feat in and of itself. In terms of love, you’re looking but not desperate and probs say cliché shit like “when it happens, it happens”—but in your case, you actually mean it. The personality of a cut-out wearer is interchangeable with someone who always wears red.
Color Match The Bridal Party
Bless your heart. You’re a back burner betch. Not just in your love life, but with your friends too. You think you’re way closer to people than you are, so you usually end up getting left out and being blindsided by it. Like the girl in florals, you are a total nice girl. So nice that instead of using your non-bridesmaid status as a chance to actually look fucking hot, you think more about the bride and the way the overall aesthetic of the wedding will look than yourself and getting laid. This translates into your personal life and you get walked over by everyone, even like, your mom.
These 7 wedding themes need to stop immediately. Find out if your wedding secretly sucks here!