I don’t know about you, but this heat wave is seriously fucking me up. After spending all winter becoming one with my couch, I was really ready for another four months on my couch to get back out there this summer. Instead, I’m finding myself yearning for the days when lying under a blanket didn’t feel like entering a sweat lodge. SO: even though we all get a pass on going outside this week, summer should be your most social season—and dating is no exception. Sunlight makes people happy, happy hours make people drunk, and drunk, happy people have more fun on dates. It’s basic math. Of course, not all summer dates are created equal. So while you’re fielding texts from Hinge matches, keep in mind that many invitations are still worth ignoring. Here’s what these date locations say about your date’s intentions.
Their Local Coffee Shop
In non-summer months, this has potential to be a fine option if you’re on antibiotics. It’s easy to cut short, requires minimal dressing up, and is overall a low-cost alternative to meeting for drinks. And going to the guy’s usual local spot can give you a sense of his overall vibe, though the implication that he’s hoping you’ll go home with him obviously stands.
During the summer though, this invite is all kinds of sus. If they’re trying to meet you at 2pm on a Saturday down the block from their apartment, they likely haven’t left their apartment in six weeks and will be rolling out of bed, wiping Cheeto crumbs off their shirt, and contemplating cancelling five times before they finally walk down the block. Oh, and they’ll probably try to steer the “date” back to their place to continue whatever TV show they were binging within 30 minutes of meeting you. With all the outdoor options and day-drinking venues summer has to offer, if the best they can do is a non-alcoholic beverage in their zip code, they either don’t give a shit about this date at all, have no social life to speak of, or both.
Picnic In The Park
Whether or not this is a red flag is kind of subjective. If you’re a fan of watching ants climb all over your food while dodging Frisbees, enjoy! (Yeah I hate picnics. Sue me.) The plus side of a picnic invitation is that it’s (meant to be) romantic, so the person who suggests this is definitely making an effort. The downside is that they require a ton of work to pull off effectively. So in Scenario A, your date shows up with a small suitcase worth of supplies (coolers, something to sit on so you don’t get grass stains, etc). While sweet, it also makes it painfully evident how much effort they put in and could be a turn-off early on. It also makes it impossible to continue the date afterward because they’re carrying around 10 pounds of picnic supplies.
In Scenario B, your date brings two 99 cent cans of Arizona iced teas and nothing else, you’re both covered in sweat and grass stains within 10 minutes, he gets embarrassed and tries to act like you’re too high maintenance to cover up that he planned a shitty-ass date. Ultimately, inviting you to a picnic means they’ve thought about this date way too much (and have probably done this exact date with their ex) or way too little. You can appreciate the gesture, but I do not recommend going on this date.
^The last time someone actually enjoyed a picnic.
Rooftop Bar With Their Friends
This is also kind of a mixed bag, but for different reasons. If they invite you to this a few days in advance, it’s ideal. It likely resembles the weekend plans you would have made for yourself anyway, and it means they want you to meet their friends. Win-win. If they invite you to this while they’re already there, it’s a very different story. This means they got drunk and horny, and are too awkward to actually meet someone at the bar full of equally drunk singles. Instead, they started going through their phone and messaging their last week of matches. While the commitment to not meeting people is admirable, you’re better than this. Being available on-demand for whenever they’re done with the social part of their night and just want to get laid is never a good look.*
*If you’ve been on a few dates already, this could be a cute “had a few drinks and started thinking about you” type text. But keep an eye on whether they actually introduce you to their friends when you show up, or if they just try to hustle you home.
Weeknight Dinner Reservation
Like the coffee date, this is normal/fine other parts of the year. But IMO, scheduling an 8pm dinner on a Wednesday is a little formal for a summer date. Has he never heard of happy hour? And is he just expecting you to waste prime drinking hours just to exchange information about your siblings and hometowns over cloth napkins? This date option implies that they’re highly traditional, operate by a strict schedule, and are probably not that much fun. This holds especially true if the restaurant they choose also offers a happy hour menu and they purposely choose not to do it. Who hurt you????
Their House In The Hamptons
This date is the easiest to decode. If they invite you to their house in the Hamptons, MARRY THEM. Seriously. Lock that shit down before the next heat wave rolls through.
Ultimately, dating in the summer is easier than dating in the winter. But because we can’t have nice things, that doesn’t mean some red flags don’t apply. Summer is the time to be your most fun self, taking advantage of long summer nights and half-off drinks. If their best self doesn’t crave margaritas after 12pm from June-September, think carefully whether this is someone you’re interested in dating. And maybe give your number to the people you see out at your favorite summer bars instead. At least you know they have good taste.
Images: Giphy (5); Jelleke Vanooteghem / Unsplash
In case you haven’t noticed, the world is like, probably basically ending and the climate is all over the place. One day, it’s 60 and sunny, and the next, there’s a storm that meteorologists have named something ridiculous, like a Polar Shit Nova Bomb. The only entity that currently changes its mind more than the weather is Arie Luyendyk Jr. The only difference is that when Arie decides to create a shitstorm, it results in a few sponsored content partnerships and increased television ratings, and when Mother Nature does it, it ruins all of our clothes. It’s about time you stock up on some transitional clothing for when the weather is confusing af, and here’s the shit you should buy.
Get Waterproof Shoes That Aren’t Rain Boots
The worst part about this shitty end-of-winter, beginning-of-spring weather is that even when it’s not actually raining, the ground is kind of a war zone for your shoes. Obviously, you can’t wear your fav suede booties, but unless there is literal water actively falling from the sky, you really can’t be wearing your rain boots, either. It’s probably solid to invest in a pair of sneakers or casual shoes that can survive rogue puddles. When I originally saw these sneakers in Nordstrom, I had no idea that they were waterproof, which is exactly what you want when it comes to weather wear.
Topshop Crush Waterproof Contrast Sole Sneaker
If You Absolutely Have to Wear Rain Boots, Don’t Be All Like, Uncool
It’s like, kind of impossible to wear rain boots without looking like a mommy blogger who forces her kids to wear the same clothes as her. Luckily, there are tons of Jeffrey Campbell rain boots that don’t suck. Just like, wear cute socks with them. Please.
Jeffrey Campbell Hurricane Weather Boot
Tie Shit Around Your Waist
I totally understand if you’re hesitant to tie clothes around your waist. It’s a very “eighth grader who just started her period on a class trip” move. However, everyone with half a brain knows that wearing layers is basically your only option when the weather is bipolar, and carrying an extra sweatshirt around when you’re too warm to wear it is fucking exhausting. Thankfully, wearing a flannel around your waist with a denim or leather jacket and a basic base layer is an actually cute, extremely versatile look. Chambray or denim shirts are perfect for this, since they’re transitional clothing that basically goes with everything.
Madewell Chambray Classic Ex-Boyfriend Shirt in Mazzy Wash
Quantity Over Quality
Listen, I know it can be tempting to wear that velvet top a few more times before it looks really out of season (who knows how much longer crushed velvet is going to be a thing, anyway), but when the weather is all over the place, you’re better off wearing two breathable layers than one really thick one. Quantity over quality is probably already your stance on wine, so why not try adopting it into other areas of your life, like transitional clothing? Think open cardigans and tank tops instead of thick sweaters. Cardigans are ideal for throwing over clothes that prob shouldn’t be worn until it’s warmer out, but that you’re going to wear anyway because you don’t give a shit.
Urban Outfitters BDG Jesse Oversized Cardigan
Get Wintery Shit in Springy Colors and Materials
You’ll probably still want to wear a scarf some days in the spring, but a chunky blanket scarf that weighs as much as an Olsen Twin will make you sweat the second there’s a slight change in weather. Lightweight springy-looking scarves are usually floral and ugly, so you’re going to probably want to invest in a scarf (or some kind of cold weather accessory) that’s made out of a breathable material. Lululemon’s Vinyasa scarves are the perfect transitional clothing accessory, because they’re very versatile and will keep you warm without making you gross and sweaty.
Lululemon Vinyasa Scarf, Rulu
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Image: Rodolfo Sanches Carvalho / Unsplash
In case you’ve somehow managed to avoid the internet, the outdoors, and basically every single member of the human race… it’s fucking freezing outside. Like, cold enough that there’s either going to be a baby boom nine months from now, or an end to civilization because nobody has the desire to leave their apartment. Up to you. Anyway, the only reasonable way to cope with this insane weather is to buy yourself a sweater. Lord and Taylor happens to be having a sale, so knock yourself out. Here are a few super perf sweaters:
1. Calvin Klein Ribbed Lace-Up Sweater
This sweater is perfect for when your friend that you usually ditch invites you out for drinks and you feel obliged to go. You don’t want to put any effort into your appearance, but still kinda have to look cute. It’s like, just a plain sweater but features a lace-up design that will make it look a little less like you just threw on a sweater and probably have a sports bra underneath it.
2. Free People Sand Dune Pullover
This sweater is a little confusing. It’s kind of a crop top, but it’s also a billowy, baggy, comfy, fluffy sweater. Pair it with high waisted leggings and fuzzy socks for your next totally innocent “just lounging around on a snow day!” thirst trap.
3. Miss Selfridge Embellished Bell-Sleeve Top
This sweater is so fucking extra that I almost hate it. But, similar to my addiction to any and all Real Housewives franchises, I’m going to defy all logic and totally live for it anyway. I can’t even look at this without hearing Napoleon Dynamite say “I like your sleeves. They’re real big.”
4. Lauren Ralph Lauren Cable Knit Open Front Cardigan
This cable knit cardigan is long as shit, which is always like, best case scenario when it’s freezing out. Once the temperature drops below freezing, I always just want to rip off the Olsen twins’ style and wear a million chunky layers that drag behind me on the ground.
5. Free People Heart It Laces Sweater
This is basically a potato sack with a bow tied around it, and I’m sooo into it. Plus, you can totally wear it as a dress, too. Like, if it’s ever warm enough to wear a dress ever again. Idk.
Images: Brooke Cagle / Unsplash; Lord & Taylor (5)