Get in loser, we’re going shopping. But like, don’t worry, you don’t have to actually get dressed or anything because it’s all just online. Shop Betches is having a warehouse sale now through September 4 at 11:59pm, so if you happen to take a break from your Labor Day Weekend blackout, you should prob check it out. Or, don’t take a break from blacking out and send sober you a gift from drunk you. Whatever works.
Basically all of the shit you regret not buying before is back and ON SUPER SALE. This literally never happens in life so like, you’re welcome.
Stationery and tote bags are $10 and under, in case you need to send your BFF a cute card without being mushy or another place to shove all your shit before spin class.
Shit for lazy betches aka pillow cases, hats, and sports bras are all between $11 and $15, so your lazy ass can continue to blow all your money on Seamless orders. The Not a Morning Person hat in royal blue is totally perf, as long as you don’t wear it with like, a baggy black shirt, gym shorts, box of Eggos and Gucci slides because then you will look like a skinnier Rob Kardashian.
If you’re a true boujee betch, check out the $16 to $25 range, which have tees, tanks and sweaters. Honestly, a graphic tee speaks a thousand words, which comes in so handy when you’re just really not in the mood to talk to a single human being. Plus, when do you ever see sweaters go on sale BEFORE it gets cold out? Never, that’s when. Don’t sleep on this.
Seriously, you’ll never have to speak to another moron again. The return on investment here is incredible. Wearing a shirt that says “Vodka Soda” so you can engage in as little conversation as possible with the dude trying to buy you a drink at the bar? Priceless.
Like all good things, this sale won’t last forever. RUN, don’t walk, to shopbetches.com now!!