Wedding vows are what make or break the ceremony. With the right vows, you can either leave your watchful audience (excuse me, wedding guests) laughing, crying, ready to get married next, or a combo of all three.
We know you’ve spent every boring meeting daydreaming about your wedding since you got engaged, and vows are a key part of that daydream. How could they not be, with inspo-worthy vows popping up in our favorite shows all the time? Do you want your vows to be tearjerking like Monica and Chandler’s, or sweet and simple like Jim and Pam’s? Or maybe you aren’t there yet, and are wondering what wedding vows even are, and how the hell one goes about writing them.
If you were an English major, great, time to put those skills to work. If you’re like the rest of us, well,
you’re SOL we consulted vow writing expert, Arissa Rench, who offers love coaching and vow writing for Luv Collective to help us understand the process. Need tips on how couples can write their own vows without sounding like a middle-school couple sharing awkward love notes? Read on. Here are her top three tips when writing your vows.
1. Match The Vibe Of Each Other’s Vows
It’d be really funny if a girl came up with beautiful wedding vows and then the guy just said ditto back
— Annika (@AnnikaLilleberg) January 29, 2014
Do you know what can get real awkward? When one person makes their vows two minutes long, full of heartfelt emotion, and the other person makes it two seconds with a generic cheesy line. If you and your partner aren’t sharing your vows with each other beforehand, you should at least agree on the vibe and length of your vows. You can also consider separately sharing what you’ve written with your wedding officiant beforehand, who can help you make sure they are harmonious with each other.
2. Get Specific With Your Vows
Wedding vows: I promise to always like your pictures on Instagram and retweet/favorite your posts on Twitter even if they’re not funny
— sara wesson (@saramariewes) August 14, 2013
If you’ll be writing your own vows, then take the time to add in some special details that are unique to your relationship. There are hundreds of generic vows you can choose from online, so if you’re going to write your own, make it worth that added effort! Here are some prompts to think about when writing your own vows: What is something special about you and your partner? This can be anything from how you met, what hobbies you share together, or references to smaller and more intricate parts of your relationship. What would mean a lot to promise to your partner? For some, it’s a cutesy promise to share the last bite of dessert, and for others a more in-depth promise of always growing together. If you and your partner are down for a few jokes or fun references, feel free to throw in a bit of humor to balance out the sniffles.
3. Prepare Your Vows In Advance
For those not going to my wedding you’ll miss the best plot twist ever. I’mma swap out my vows at the last minute for @ProBirdRights tweets.
— Lauren Ackerman (@VerbingNouns) September 21, 2013
According to Arissa, it’s ideal to have your vows written two months before the wedding so you can feel at ease with what you’ve written. Yes, I get that you like to procrastinate, but trying to complete your vows amidst your morning hair and makeup come wedding day is not ideal… I know from first-hand experience, and let me tell you, it was not pretty. It worked out fine in the end, but trust me when I say you don’t need any added stress on your wedding day.
As you continue to work on your vows, remember to stay calm and ask for help when you need it—whether it’s using a site like Luv Collective or just adding copy editing to your MOH’s list of duties. What matters most is your connection to your partner and the vows you create to guide your marriage. No matter how sappy that really sounds, it’s true!
Images: Jeremy Wong Weddings / Unsplash; VerbingNouns, saramariewes, AnnikaLilleberg / Twitter
This past weekend, The Bachelor‘s Arie Luyendyk Jr. and Lauren Burnham got married. (Really thought I’d never have to spell “Luyendyk” again. Pretty mad that I do.) While some fans are annoyed that the wedding wasn’t aired on live TV, I’m sort of grateful we were spared a six-hour episode of The Bachelor on Monday night. (My liver couldn’t handle it.) And luckily, an anonymous source gave PEOPLE all the details of their wedding. So I, personally, feel like I was there and intend to judge the whole affair as though I was.
We already knew they were getting married in Maui, at an old “processing factory for sugarcane” (according to Wikipedia) called Haiku Mill. If they did not write their vows in haikus, I will be simultaneously relieved and very disappointed. (“Once I met Lauren / I was like, ‘nah, Becca K’ / Then I changed my mind”.) An old processing factory doesn’t sound the most romantic, but pictures of the venue are actually pretty stunning. Very real-life fairytale, which, if Lauren’s Instagram captions are any indication, is exactly what she’s going for.
PEOPLE’s coverage continues by reminding me that Arie and Lauren have a 10-year age difference, and that they only got engaged 10 months ago. (Ten. Months. Doesn’t it feel like a f*cking decade has passed?) As for the ceremony itself, PEOPLE reports that they “wrote their own vows,” and both “got choked up.” Arie’s grandparents acted as ring bearer and flower girl, which is actually pretty f*cking cute. As is PEOPLE noting that they got the “biggest laughs,” and that the grandma “really connected with everyone.” Hey, maybe his grandma can be the next Bachelorette! I’d tune in as long as they promise Arie won’t be on it.
In terms of visuals to judge, only Bachelor producer Megan Firestone dared to break what I’m sure was an ironclad no social media rule. Her post has sadly since been deleted (and she may or may not be holed up in an ABC torture chamber as we speak), but I can tell you that Lauren looks like a princess (the hair!!), and Arie and Lauren look very happy. The only suspicious things about this picture are
how well-lit it is when every candid of me at a party looks like I just crawled out of the underworld how extremely not pregnant she looks. Whatever Fit Tea she’s drinking, I want it. Thankfully, we do have one Instagram of the wedding, courtesy of Rachael Wolfner, who is doing the lord’s work.
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Finally, no coverage of Arie and Lauren’s wedding would be complete if we didn’t discuss the most-cherished guest: Baby Girl Luyendyk (Jr.??) As we already knew, Arie and Lauren are expecting a baby. But if you didn’t follow their baby’s Instagram (I hate me too), you might not have known that they are expecting a baby girl! I’ll be accepting a running list of baby name guesses in the comments.
Other useful tidbits included on this Instagram include regular updates on the baby’s size (fig! plum! taco!) and cheeky details about Lauren’s personal life, like how she’s learning Dutch and plays Mozart for her baby. It feels totally weird to be making fun of someone who looks better six months pregnant than I do now, but come on. She’s writing full paragraphs in the voice of a fetus and it’s hilarious.
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Aloha friends! Today I’m 19 weeks old and the size of a mango ???? (how fitting right?) I’m so happy you all know that I’m a girl! It was such a fun week telling the world and now Mom and Dad can finally start buying me clothes 🙂 So this week a lot of stuff is going on in here. My body is covered by vernix which feels like swimming in cream cheese… weird I know but it’s good for my skin. Working on my glow for my grand appearance. I’m also growing my first little hairs on my head Mom and Dad both are picturing me blonde but you never know! Well gotta run, Mom and Dad are getting married this week and it’s hard to type with Mom moving around so much!
Here’s hoping the wedding went off without a hitch, that the couple whispers “I love that” to each other into old age, and that they have a happy, healthy blond baby! I draw the line, however, at watching a Baby Luyendyk spin-off.
Images: Giphy; People; Instagram; Instagram