It is mid-October and I know that the only thing on your mind is if it’s appropriate to be a slutty for Halloween. But we’re here to tell you something else should be on your mind that’s happening like, a week after Halloween and that is Election Day. Yes, you know, the thing Taylor Swift wrote that suuuppper long Insta post about. Just kidding. We know you’re all smart, capable women who are stoked to vote, and not just because you’re going to get a sticker. (Though it is awesome to get a sticker.) Since we know you’re already going to the polls, this voter guide is here to help you figure out wtf to do when you get there. Do you have a voting plan? Are you registered? Do you think being a slutty feather duster is too on the nose?
Here is everything you need to know about voting, it’s like the cheat sheet you used to pass AP Bio. Aww, #tbt.
Wait, Can I Register Right Now?
We get it, you don’t want to read this whole entire thing. Register to vote right tf now, by clicking here. But then also do read the rest of the article because we like, worked hard on it and sh*t.
Is It Too Late To Register?
Voter registration laws can be vary a lot from state to state, so making sure you know wtf is up where you live is important. Check here to see if you are registered and click here to see your state’s deadline for registration. Many states have same day voter registration, which is amazing for the procrastinators among us. You can also click here to find out your state’s specific registration requirements.
If you missed your deadline and can’t register the day of the election, you should low-key be a little embarrassed, but don’t worry this is a safe space. Consider atoning for your sins by phone banking for a candidate of your choice. Recruit one new person to vote and it’s kind of like you never missed the deadline at all! Kind of…
Can I Vote Early?
Nothing is more fun than being a trendsetter. Many states have early voting, which is basically like the Disney Fast Pass of democracy. No waiting in lines. No bullsh*t. You just cruise right into Indiana Jones exercising your civic duty with zero hassle. Click here to see if your state has early voting so you can get voting out of the way before Election Day. Then go out and get yourself a sticker because you deserve it.
What About Voting Absentee?
Voting absentee – like the jager bomb – is something many people experience exclusively in college. Whatever the reason, if you can’t show up to the polls on election day you can always vote absentee. Click here to get your absentee ballot in less than 2 minutes.
Okay, I’m At The Polls And They Aren’t Letting Me Vote. Do They Know Who My Dad Is?
Some districts have a shady past of turning away voters who are indeed registered to vote, or just have overworked and/or inexperienced poll workers who can’t find your name for whatever reason. Don’t freak out. If this happens, repeat after me: “Give me a provisional ballot with a receipt as required by law when requested.”
Write that on your hand if you need to. Practice saying it in the mirror Elle Woods style. If for any reason you are not able to cast your ballot, do not leave the polling place until you’ve filled out a provisional ballot, then be sure to follow up with your state to verify your identity and make sure your vote is counted. And then go buy yourself two stickers for all the extra work you had to do.
What if something Shady Is Going Down At My Polling Place?
You’ve watched enough true crime documentaries to know when something shady is going down. Have a hunch or doubt that there’s an issue at your polling place? Call 866-OUR-VOTE or text election protection” to 97779 and let them know what problems you’re encountering. Maybe Mariska Hargitay will show up!
Wtf Is On My Ballot?
Don’t get caught in the voting booth staring at a bunch of names you’ve never heard before running for positions you know nothing about, or propositions written in language your brain can’t comprehend. The good bros over at Crooked Media created a way for you to preview your ballot so you won’t be caught off guard by anything on Election Day. Filling in random bubbles based off what answer sounds the best may have worked for your AP Bio exam, but it def won’t fly on Election Day.
Wait Why Am I Voting Again?
Look, we put a lot of jokes in this article because we’re Betches and that’s what we do, but voting is really f*cking important. Chances are there is an issue you care about, and Election Day is your opportunity to make your voice heard. A recent poll showed only 26% of 18 – 29 year olds were likely to vote in the upcoming election, whereas 82% of those 65 and older are likely to turn out. That’s like, sad and embarrassing. It’s sadbarrassing.
See you on November 6th!
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