In Your Full Moon Feelings: Weekly Horoscopes August 31-September 4

This week brings the year’s only full moon in Pisces, meaning it’s time to get all the way in your feelings. And not just your feelings, but everyone’s feelings. Now we finally know what people were talking about back in 2012 when they said sh*t like “all the feels”. We can still leave that phrase in the past, though…

Aries

What are you running from, ram? Whatever it is, you may find it gaining on you this week, so why not deal with it before it deals with you? If horror movies are to be believed, the scary murderer always catches up eventually. Best to have your axe ready.

Taurus

Intellectual stimulation is the name of the game this week, bull, as the Pisces moon activates your dreamy side. Fire up that TEDTalk playlist, and get ready to get your mind blown binging a docuseries about space. Or, you could do something really crazy and actually read that book that’s been sitting on your nightstand since January. Crazier things have happened…

Gemini

Your mission, if you choose to accept it, Gemini, is as follows: actually focus on one thing. Impossible, I know, but the Pisces moon is giving you the drive to take things over the finish line. That is, if you don’t waste all your precious energy starting 15 completely different projects at once, AKA what you normally do.

Cancer

There’s a whole wide world out there, Cancer, and it’s time you see it (from a six-foot distance, of course). Have you been getting too cozy with the whole “stay at home” thing? The opportunity to get out and explore may be presented to you this week, and you should take it. You can only live vicariously through Zac Efron’s Netflix show for so long.

Leo

That fence you’ve been hanging out on? Time to get off of it, Leo. Choices need to be made. Texts need to be sent. Numbers need to be blocked. If anyone has any questions, tell them the stars told you it was time. They’ll understand.

Virgo

The Pisces moon might be turning you into a stage five clinger with your ride-or-dies this week. You just can’t help but tell them you love them! Don’t resist the urge to show them that you care, even if it takes the form of a 10-paragraph text detailing the best features of every single person in your group chat.

Libra

Time to kick it into gear, Libra! The full moon is giving you the energy to revive your health routines (or develop them for the first time—no judgment). Don’t be surprised if you have the sudden urge to sign up for an outdoor fitness class or start an elimination diet this week. Whether you actually follow through is a whole other matter…

Scorpio

Hear that? That’s buzz. And it’s all around you. This week you’ve got that glow, and things are just going your way. Maybe you’re getting the recognition you need at work, or your funny tweet will go viral. Either way, you’re on top of the world. Enjoy it.

Sagittarius

Time to change it up, Sagittarius! Your wanderlust-y sign would loooove to be traveling right now, but since that’s not really an option, time to flip the script. This week, find a creative way to inject a little adventure into your life. Just because you’re not stamping your passport doesn’t mean life is over.

Capricorn

Expect changes to your social life as you learn to prioritize the people who mean the most to you. Pandemic times have shown us which friends show up and which friends need to be shown the door, so don’t be afraid to cut back on the ones who have proven they’re not there for you. One less group chat to deal with never hurt anybody.

Aquarius

A career shift could be coming down the road for you, Aquarius. Keep an eye out for unexpected opportunities and new ways to secure the bag. It seems like everyone and their mother has a Patreon these days. Just saying…

Pisces

Tune out the haters, Pisces! The moon is in your sign, and it’s time for you to stop polling the entire world on every single thing you do. This week, make your choices based on what you want, and not how you’ll be perceived by others. (Except when it comes to wearing your mask over your nose and mouth. You still have to do that.)

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Oh F*ck, It’s Fall: Weekly Horoscopes September 2-6

Welp, that’s it. Summer is over. Okay, so technically summer lasts until September 23rd this year, but we all know once Labor Day hits, summer is done. Here’s how every sign will be ringing in the start of fall, and mourning the end of summer Fridays.

Aries

You’re having trouble flying solo and might be feeling a little bit lonely right now, Aries, and that’s okay. I know you pride yourself on being an independent woman who don’t need no man, but that doesn’t mean you can’t be in need of a little TLC every once in a while. Make plans with someone this week to keep the loneliness at bay and, please, make sure it’s someone you actually like.

Taurus

The Full Moon isn’t until next week, but its energy is already affecting those closest to you. Translation: look out for friend drama. Whether it be a text taken the wrong way, a drunken night gone bad, or just everyone getting their period at the same time, things could be on edge for the next few weeks. But don’t worry. Then it’ll be over and you’ll all pretend nothing ever happened.

Gemini

Don’t freak out, but you may be facing a rough patch in your career right now. Try not to sweat small mistakes and give yourself a break. Nobody can be at 100% every single day. It’s totally okay to cut yourself a little slack, just don’t let your boss catch you napping in the break room.

Cancer

Mars is moving through your message sector, meaning you’re ready to speak your mind about any and everything. Good for you. This more assertive energy could bring you good things in both your professional and personal life, just make sure to check yourself a little bit. No need to go overboard and tell Megan from HR how you really feel about her Powerpoints.

Leo

Watch your spending this week, Leo! The back-to-school are making you feel like buying a whole new wardrobe, but sadly, mom doesn’t buy your clothes any more. Refrain from any late night impulse purchases or, if you must, limit it to one item. Your future self will thank you when you actually have enough money to pay rent and eat food this week.

Virgo

You’ve been coasting high on your own season lately, but that could come to an abrupt halt with problems in your love life. Are you getting too attached? Are you not letting yourself get attached enough? Make sure you don’t get in your head and make some drastic decisions before cuffing season!

Libra

The end of summer has you feeling kind of low-key, and that’s totally fine! Don’t force yourself to go out and be social when you really just want to stay home and watch reality television. The parties, brunches, and happy hours will all still be there when Bachelor in Paradise is done for the season.

Scorpio

You’re feeling a little bit lost in love this week, Scorpio, but it’s okay. So is literally every good character from TV, film, and literature since the beginning of time. You’re in good company. Take some time to think about what you want, and compare it to what you have right now. You might even find you’re actually doing better than you thought!

Sagittarius

You are thriving right now, Sagittarius, so you better f*cking embrace it. No bullsh*t. No negative self talk. No not messaging first on the apps because you’re nervous. Just f*cking go for it and love yourself, or else Lizzo will be disappointed in you. And nobody wants to disappoint Lizzo.

Capricorn

You’ve got big professional opportunities coming your way, Capricorn, so make sure you have your Girl Boss lewk ready. This is not a bad time to set your alarm a little bit earlier, or to hang back a little bit late. Your hard work is bound to get noticed, and then you can go back to hitting the snooze button until you’re going to be late again.

Aquarius

You might find yourself broke as a joke this week, Aquarius, with some unforeseen expenses putting you in the red. Find some ways to cut back until you can make up the difference. (Nobody likes an overdraft fee.) Might I suggest not ordering Postmates *every* night this week? It could work…

Pisces

Your month of fairytale romance begins now, Pisces! Your knight in shining armor could be right around the corner! Just make sure he’s actually Prince Charming and not just like, some dude named Prince who’s 6’5″ and that he hasn’t committed any felonies (that you know of).

Images: Giphy (12)