Let’s face it—we’re not that young anymore. Our transition into relative old age means that there’s a whole generation of people younger than us, and with that new social media apps and trends that we’re just not meant to understand. Chief among these is TikTok. Seriously, people ask me almost every day to explain TikTok to them, and honestly, I barely even know what to say. TikTok has quickly become one of the most popular apps among Gen-Z, but it’s still a mystery to most of us in the post-college crowd. Lucky for you, I’m venturing into the depths of the youths to figure out wtf TikTok is, so STOP ASKING ME. Thank me later.

In less than three years, TikTok has become a global force, with over a billion downloads in 150 countries. As you might recall, the current app was originally known as musical.ly, which was already super popular with teenagers. Last year, TikTok’s parent company bought musical.ly, and rolled the two apps into one. But like, what is it?

The easiest way to describe TikTok is that it’s like Vine, but on steroids. Instead of six-second clips, TikToks can be up to 60 seconds long, and you can incorporate music, stickers, filters, and text. Just like Vine, you can record a lot of short video clips and put them together, which makes it easier to get creative than on, say, Instagram stories. There’s a lot going on, which is both a blessing and a curse. People get really creative using all the features that the app has to offer, but actually creating the videos can be a little overwhelming.

Here’s the first TikTok I ever made, which was approximately one hour ago when I was starting this article:

Look, I’m no Quentin Tarantino. I have approximately one follower on TikTok, and both the comments on this video are total spam, but you have to start somewhere.

I decided to keep it simple for my first time, but the possibilities are endless when it comes to TikTok. One of the most popular features, which was a staple of musical.ly, is adding music to videos. You might recall this video of TikTok user Reese Hardy dancing to Mariah Carey’s “Obsessed,” which went viral last month:

This video has over 20 million views, not counting on Twitter and Instagram, and even Mariah Carey herself responded to the “Obsessed” challenge. While the whole world of TikTok is a lot to dive into, it’s not that different from any other kind of memes. While there’s a lot of original content being made, there are certain popular formats that come and go.

Right now, one of the biggest TikTok memes is using E-40’s song “Choices (Yup),” which was originally released in 2014. I don’t know how this stuff gets resurfaced, but I don’t make the rules. Here’s David Dobrik’s take on the meme:

You might not know who David Dobrik is, but literally every Gen-Zer does. He started his career as a Vine star before moving to YouTube, where he has 13 million subscribers. His friend group is known as “The Vlog Squad,” and they basically run sh*t. Or, to put it in easier terms to understand, he has eight million followers on Instagram, and he just bought his best friend a Lamborghini. Joke’s on you!

But even if you don’t get the whole TikTok culture, a lot of the stuff on there is just objectively funny. If you’re the kind of person who follows 87 meme accounts on Instagram, you should probably download TikTok. Even America’s Funniest Home Videos is on TikTok, and now I’m not going to get any work done for the rest of the day.

I’ve basically spent the last day messing around on TikTok, but I still haven’t decided if I’m going to keep using it. Sure, it’s a total waste of time, but I spend approximately 100 hours a week wasting time on Instagram, so I’m not really precious with how I use my time. The thing is, as someone who was born before 1999, I don’t really know anyone who uses TikTok. There are lots of random funny people out there, but there’s no one that I’m invested in yet. Just wait though, because by the end of the day I’ll probably have a huge crush on some 20-year-old straight boy who makes dancing videos. We all have weaknesses.

If you’re one of those people who still watches Vine compilations on YouTube after all these years, you definitely need TikTok. If you’re scared of getting older and are desperate to keep up with youth culture, you probably also need TikTok. But if you already feel like you spend too much time on your phone, and still feel like you don’t get it, you can probably skip it. Some things just aren’t meant to be.

Images: Shutterstock; dylanhafer, reesehardy_, daviddobrik, afvofficial / TikTok

So you might have been aware (because of the memes) that over the weekend, a bunch of people made a big production about going to Area 51 to break out the aliens. If you’re like me, you’re probably asking yourself, “what the actual f*ck is everyone going on about?”. (Things I say to myself most time a new internet trend emerges, tbh.) But don’t worry, I’m here to break down everything that popped off over the weekend, so you don’t have to sort through a bunch of Twitter threads. Here’s what’s going on with Area 51.

What The F*ck Is Area 51?

Fucking hilarious to me that the Area 51 meme has gotten to a point where without a doubt there has been a military meeting somewhere with some very high ranking officials sitting down and going…. “Okay but seriously what are we going to do about this?” pic.twitter.com/v3aQGHyRjh

— H҉o҉v҉a҉ ? (@JahovasWitniss) July 15, 2019

If you didn’t already know, Area 51 is The United States Air Force base in the desert of Nevada. Allegedly, it contains top secret information on extraterrestrial phenomena, and people believe there could be UFOs, aliens, and remains of such. Basically it sounds like the plot of Stranger Things. The base was featured in the 1996 film Independence Day as an alien testing laboratory, but the government rejects any sort of extraterrestrial activities. But still, there are people who believe the government is lying to us and there really are aliens at Area 51—just like there are people who believe we didn’t land on the moon. 

What’s Up With The Facebook Group?

Upwards of 600,000 people have joined the event “Storm Area 51, they can’t stop all of us” which joins people together to invade the air force base on September 20th in hopes of seeing any sort of extraterrestrial paraphernalia. Over 600,000 people? That’s more followers than many influencers have on Instagram. That’s a lot of f*cking people. The event description says, “We will all meet up at the Area 51 Alien Center tourist attraction and coordinate our entry” and that “If we naruto run, we can move faster than their bullets. Lets see them aliens.” A little more intense than your typical birthday celebration Facebook event description, wouldn’t you say? “Naruto run” is based on the Japanese manga character, Naruto Uzumaki, who runs with his head down and and arms arms stretched out behind. Kind of like how that one weird kid from your high school would run through the halls. I imagine this event would play out like a walk of shame, except you’re not hungover in your clothes from the night before, and instead of avoiding anyone you know, you’re avoiding the government. But really, the first clue that this event is not serious is the sentence that claims people can outrun bullets just be emanating a manga character. But as we know, people on the internet are f*cking idiots and this event is being taken seriously. Which brings me to my next point…

The Government Is Always Watching

The government ready and waiting for everyone storming Area 51 pic.twitter.com/U98wrutx7X

— notanothertruecrimepod (@NATCpod) July 15, 2019

Apparently this event was a joke, but we all know there’s a little truth behind every “JK”, and consequently, the government has gotten involved. Air Force spokesperson Laura McAndrews said, “ is an open training range for the US Air Force, and we would discourage anyone from trying to come into the area where we train American armed forces.” They would discourage it? That’s like my best friend telling me that she discourages me from drunk texting my ex. Am I gonna do it anyway? Yes. Does her telling me not to do it only make me that much more determined to disregard her advice? Also yes. McAndrews also says that “The US Air Force always stands ready to protect America and its assets,” which to me feels like code for “you’re gonna get shot if you try to go in there”. Are the “assets” extraterrestrial activities? Is ET real? How much longer until this event is sponsored? Is this going to be the next Fyre Festival? Either way, this has brought us great memes, so that’s all that really matters. 

To recap, you should not try to storm Area 51. If Stranger Things taught us anything, it’s that breaking into a highly protected government building to find some aliens is only going to f*ck up your life. If you’re going to actually spend the money on a plane ticket to go to Nevada, you’re probably better off going to Vegas, where you would likely see weirder sh*t anyway. Luckily for the government, everybody knows that only about 1/3 of people who respond “yes” to Facebook events end up actually attending, so they probably don’t have much to worry about.

Images: JahovasWitniss, NATCpod / Twitter