Don Jr’s Mistress May Have Written This Breakup Song About Him

Every breakup deserves an anthem. I mean, look at T-Swift. That girl made a career out of breakup songs. She is definitely queen of the not so subtle references to her exes, but Donald Trump Jr.’s supposed mistress, Aubrey O’Day, is def giving her a run for her money. After it came out that Don Jr. and his wife Vanessa were getting a divorce, it also came out that he allegedly carried on an affair with Danity Kane singer and former Apprentice contestant, Aubrey O’Day. After rumors of O’Day and – I think I’m gonna be sick – Donald Trump, Jr.’s affair, TMZ (God bless you, TMZ) went back and uncovered this video of O’Day covering Gotye’s “Somebody That I Used To Know,” with revamped lyrics that seem v. Trumpy.

So what exactly are the lyrics in question? Let’s break them down…

*Disclaimer: If you get grossed out easily, by the thought of these two getting it on, read this on an empty stomach.*

Now and then I think of when we were together
Like when you told me that your marriage was a lie (That sounds like a Trump…)
Told me that I brought you back to life
Couldn’t live without me by your side
Didn’t care about the sex, you begged to fuck my mind (No. No.)

You can get addicted to a certain kind of madness
You’d love to be a man your life just won’t allow (ok true)
You said that was the reason for your pain
But you were scared to ruin your family’s name (Daddy did that first, anyway)
Your wife’s the only one glad we are over (Hi Vanessa – glad you go out.)

You’re just another liar that I used to know (Trumps don’t lie… fake news)

So this sounds like a super effed up relationship, with a heavy dose of mind fucking and “that certain kind of madness”. To make things even more dramatic the music video that O’Day failed to finish for the song includes her naked with words like “loyalty”, “hate” and “seduce” written on her. Thanks to TMZ you can view the video. The only good part about this whole story is that Vanessa has filed for divorce and can go on living her life separately from Trump, Jr. just like she’s been doing for the last couple of years.

As we all know, what happens on Celebrity Apprentice doesn’t stay there, so it’s no surprise that this eventually came out. We are just sorry that DJ Pauly D had to find out his ex used to get with Trump, Jr. before him, because he’s kind of a grenade. BTW this is only the latest in a number of scandals involving the Trump family’s personal lives and honestly I’m just waiting for Stormy Daniels to release a mixtape about her and the President or better yet a sex tape proving it happened… America is so great!

Heads up, you need to keep up with the news. It’s not cute anymore. That’s why we’ve created a 5x weekly newsletter called The ‘Sup that will explain all the news of the week in a hilarious af way. Because if we weren’t laughing, we’d be crying. Sign up for The ‘Sup now!

Donald Trump Jr. Is Only Two Divorces Away From Being Just Like Dad

Ho. Lee. Shit. Another one bites the dust. And while it is someone living in the wacky world of Trumplandia, this time it’s not another appointed official throwing in the towel. It’s Don Jr.’s wife Vanessa Trump. Vanessa took to the Manhattan Supreme Court yesterday to officially file for divorce after 12 years of marriage. She decided it was time to free herself from the shackles and live her damn life, and I truly couldn’t be prouder. Either that, or she saw that Mueller subpoenaed the Trump Organization and wanted to GTFO before her husband goes to JAIL. Either way, we’re happy for ya, ‘Ness.

According to multiple inside sources, Donny J and Vanessa have been on the rocks for quite some time, and Trump Sr. becoming president was just the icing on the cake – if the cake was made of Twitter rage, orange self-tanning lotion, and sadness. Baby V was understandably upset with the intense amount of attention and scrutiny bombarding her family, and allegedly hated Don Jr.’s tweeting, calling it “unhinged.” (True, Vanessa. True.)

Just last month, Vanessa was hospitalized after receiving an envelope containing a suspicious powdered substance that was feared to be anthrax, but ended up being a false alarm. The couple also spent Valentine’s Day separately, with their five (five?! Jesus.) children, which is a clear sign that this relationship was dead and gone. If you can honestly tell me you’d rather spend the most romantic day of the year telling your snot nosed pre-teens to stop blowing straw wrappers at each other across the table instead of breaking out the molly you’ve been saving for a special occasion and having marathon sex, I have some bad news for you and your soon-to-be-ex husband.

Vanessa and Jr. met back in 2003 at a fashion show. They were introduced by none other than the big Don himself. First of all, if some creepy old dad tried to set me up with his lube-haired son, I would run for the GD hills. Vanessa clearly does not have the same standards.

However, the first introduction didn’t leave much of an impression, and when they met again at a party a few weeks later, Vanessa literally said, “Wait, you’re the one with the r*tarded dad!” Forgive me for not being shocked that someone who knew the Trump family was an avalanche of stupid but married into it anyway for money would use the r-word to describe her future father-in-law. Though, in her defense, it was 2003 when we were all low-key pretending that was okay.

Clearly, the perks did not outweigh the constant nightmare of waking up next to Donald Jr. every morning and realizing she was trapped in a perpetual hell of MAGA hats and being the “other hot blonde who isn’t Ivanka.” Vanessa, I wish you luck on your journey back into the single life. Enjoy your glow-up as you drift peacefully away from all things Trump and probably try to salvage your former modeling career by resorting to promoting flat tummy tea on Insta. Oh and Melania, I hate to tell you to just copy someone else but…your move, girl.

Heads up, you need to keep up with the news. It’s not cute anymore. That’s why we’ve created a 5x weekly newsletter called The ‘Sup that will explain all the news of the week in a hilarious af way. Because if we weren’t laughing, we’d be crying. Sign up for The ‘Sup now!