Here’s The Latest Trump Official To GTFO

Well, another Trump official is saying “Bye b*tch” to the administration. UN Ambassador Nikki Haley resigned on Tuesday, according to CNN. Her departure leaves the Trump cabinet with one less level-headed moderate, if “level-headed moderate” means “extreme conservative who happily pushed Trump’s agenda but had the occasional moment of sanity.” Also, she never used taxpayer money for a $43,000 soundproof phone booth, so I guess there’s that.

On Tuesday morning, Trump teased that he and Haley had news, tweeting “Big announcement with my friend Ambassador Nikki Haley in the Oval Office at 10:30am.” Ah yes, my “friends” also like to publicly announce that they’d prefer not to interact with me anymore. Unlike with some other high-profile White House resignations, Haley’s decision to peace out took many by surprise. And the timing was especially dramatic since the midterms are so close. (Casual reminder to VOTE.) Nobody seems to really know why Haley pulled this switcheroo, so go forth and speculate.

Haley’s greatest hits as UN Ambassador included that time she announced that the administration would put sanctions on Russia, and then the White House was like “lol no, she’s confused.” Haley clapped back with, “I don’t get confused,” and I actually kind of liked her for a minute.

Anyways, we’re left with two big questions. Will the former governor of South Carolina run against Trump in 2020, or wait until 2024? And what batshit replacement ambassador will Trump appoint now? Our money is on either Jared Kushner or a cardboard cutout of Kim Jong-un.

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Donald Trump Just Got Laughed At By The Entire World (Literally)

Ever since Donald Trump took the oath of office, we’ve known the world was laughing at us figuratively. But now they’re laughing at us literally. Last year, President Trump made a splash at the U.N. General Assembly by calling Kim Jong Un “rocket man.” (It’s cool – they’re BFFs now.) This year, he made U.N. history by being the first POTUS ever to be literally laughed at by all the leaders of the world, for something he did not intend to be funny.

After President Trump claimed his administration had “accomplished more in 2 years than any administration in history,” the audience could not contain their lols, and actually erupted in laughter.

Trump bragged about his presidency at #UNGA and world leaders laughed.

“I didn’t expect that reaction, but that’s okay”: https://t.co/6gF9x6uE6o pic.twitter.com/nX88GMFikQ

— POLITICO (@politico) September 25, 2018

Trump tried to play it off with the whole “I didn’t expect that reaction, but that’s okay,” move, but I think we all know that whatever’s left of his brain has immediately gotten to work on a scathing subtweet of the entire international community, that he’ll send out any minute now. What makes this all better is that the speech was written by racist Squidward himself, Stephen Miller, so we’ve humiliated two birds on the international stage with one bad speech.

Oh, and when Fox News published the video, they edited out the part where everyone laughed at him because of course they f*cking did.

I see you edited out the part where the audience laughed at him.

— Bryan Russell Smith (@bryan_r_smith) September 25, 2018

As great as this clip is, the joke may end up being on all of us, since Trump will definitely use this as an excuse to nuke literally everyone or give guns to bears or whatever the f*ck crazy idea he and Stephen come up with as retribution for this. Sad!

Heads up, you need to keep up with the news. It’s not cute anymore. That’s why we’ve created a 5x weekly newsletter called The ‘Sup that will explain all the news of the week in a hilarious af way. Because if we weren’t laughing, we’d be crying. Sign up for The ‘Sup now!