Because I consider myself a very ~edgy~ and ~trendy~ grown-up, I decided to try out this new and cutting-edge eyebrow trend called Halo Brows. I’m not a regular adult. I’m a cool adult. Halo Brows were invented by gorgeous 16-year-old makeup artist Hannah Lyne (@hannahdoesmakeupp). Why do literal children do their makeup better than me? That is the real question here.
The important thing to note with the Halo Brows is that you’re not just taking powder and drawing half an oval connecting them. It’s supposed to somehow look like hair, requiring taking a pencil and drawing in short feathery strokes to mimic hair all the way around. I tried to direct the ends of my eyebrows upward as to put the focus on the halo. I don’t like putting tons of makeup on my face, and I feel like this FOR SURE will make me break out. I don’t even like wearing foundation unless it’s an emergency that concealer won’t fix. I kept the rest of my makeup clean because the focus is obviously on what’s going on above my eyes.
I just noticed I also kinda fucked it up, and it looks more like a rectangle. Unfortunately, user error is not the worst part here.
While it may look like a fucking unibrow on my forehead, you’re wrong.
It’s so much worse than that.
At least a unibrow seems like it may be an accident, like maybe you don’t know this is gross and you should groom yourself, or you don’t know how. This is very intentional and hideous, but who am I to judge?
I wore the look out in public just to gauge some reactions. I know, they should award me a medal for my bravery.
Now, first of all, I live in Hollywood, and even with this fucking eyebrow (literal, ONE giant eyebrow), I barely turned heads because there are so many weirder looking people than me walking around. Also, I currently have green hair, so I feel like people expect very little from me visually. Also, it was raining, and it’s always fun to ask yourself, “What if my huge eyebrow melts down my face?”
People on the street definitely stared, and my homeless friend Peter pretended not to know me (fucking rude), but no one said anything at first. I went to my favorite coffee shop, and some bro in line said to me, “Hey, you have something on your forehead.”
Like. Thank you sir. What would we do without men?
I pretended not to know what he was talking about. Of course, he continued to try to elaborately mansplain to me what was on my face. I really, really hope he thinks my eyebrows just grew in this way.
Another girl stopped me to tell me how much she loved it, but it was obviously in a way like she feels sorry for me and wanted to make me think it was fine. Whatever, Regina George.
Since I don’t have a real office job, I decided to take this shit further to social media to really gauge what people think. Here are some highlights:
“Sorry, love you and all, but no it does absolutely nothing for you!”
“Why not do unibrows? They are way more attractive.”
“Not far enough! Keep going so they connect under the nose for the full-on Mr. Terrific look!”
“Hate but for some reason u pull off well.” (My friends are so supportive.)
“Seriously???? The hipsters have gone too far.”
“I think the millennials are just trying to fuck with the old folks now lol.”
All in all, I think if you try to be really high fashion and edgy and you really want
negative attention, go ahead and try the Halo Brows. I also suggest trying to dress slutty to distract from your face. For the rest of us, just do your eyebrows properly, and let’s not add excess hair to our faces. Hannah, sweetie, you are so good at makeup, please don’t bring shit like this into the world. Kthanks.
Images: Author; Giphy