Hello, friends. Today is day seven of my isolation. I have watched the entirety of the new series The Stranger on Netflix. I have finished two novels and begun a seven-book YA fantasy series. I cannot remember my last shower or my last vegetable. This is life in quarantine. Sorry, I usually only get this dramatic in my nightly diary entry, but we are in strange times. I’m sure many of you are experiencing the same thing as me, except with slightly more fresh air and slightly less pizza (I totally believe you!). But you know who apparently hasn’t heard about this global pandemic that the rest of us are doing our best to slow down? Celebrities! Of course, there are the celebrities that are trying to help, and the celebrities that are embarrassing themselves on social media, but there are also the ones that apparently haven’t heard that we need to be responsible citizens and practice social distancing, self-isolation, and quarantine. Shall we take a look at the celebrities whom history books will deem responsible for the spread of coronavirus?
Hannah Brown and Tyler Cameron
Look, guys. I know the pheromones you’re emitting right now are like, really strong, but so is the coronavirus, so I had really hoped that for the sake of humanity you would have been able to keep it in your pants. But alas, once again, I expected too much out of people that signed up for a reality dating show just so that they’d never have to work a real job again.
A few days ago, Tyler picked Hannah up at the airport and on Tuesday (Tuesday!!!!!) they were out on the beach with a group of friends, playing volleyball, and definitely getting closer than the recommended six feet. I hope your date was so cute guys, back here in the tristate area we’d love to be doing that too if only we weren’t busy dying! And, it gets worse. They finally decided to go inside, but it’s not just the two of them. Hannah joined TikTok and posted this video of her “quarantine crew” at the pool, which includes EIGHT PEOPLE, clearly not social distancing or keeping their gathering small to the tune of “Savage.” Savage indeed, Hannah and Tyler. SAVAGE INDEED.
Last week, the NBA suspended their season due to coronavirus. Have you ever seen that in your lifetime? I certainly haven’t, and I talk about how old I am more often than Jessica from Love is Blind. So, naturally, maybe you wouldn’t want to hang out with someone whose job had been unprecedentedly shut down due to the invasion of a global pandemic. Not the case for Drake! He decided to hang out with Kevin Durant at the Nice Guy in West Hollywood. I guess even when people are dying, there’s champagne to be drunk and women to be hit on! Someone’s gotta do it! (They don’t.) Thankfully, once Durant tested positive, Drake decided to do the right thing and self-isolate. But don’t feel bad for the King of Toronto, because while you’re rolling around on a yoga mat on your dirty floor trying to follow an online Barre Method class (hypothetically!), Drake is working out on his home basketball court. Can I quarantine there?
This past Saturday, the day my city ordered all restaurants, bars, daycares, and gyms closed and I ran to the grocery store in a panic, Scheana invited all her friends to party in Palm Springs. Here’s the exact quote: “Any of my friends working from home this week should come join me for a Palm Springs quarantine!” the 34-year-old reality TV personality tweeted on Saturday, March 14. “I will continue to live my life in Palm Springs or MDR w my friends and not live it in complete isolation or fear. Simple as that. Call me ‘ignorant’ but I’m not gonna stop living!” Okay Scheana, you’re ignorant. What? You told me to! This whole season of VPR Scheana has been talking about freezing her eggs, but now I’m wondering if she should be allowed to procreate?
I will continue to live my life in Palm Springs or MDR w my friends and not live it in complete isolation or fear. Simple as that. Call me “ignorant” but I’m not gonna stop living!
— 🏳️🌈Scheana (@scheana) March 14, 2020
Naturally, people jumped on Scheana’s tweet, basically calling her an idiot, which she kind of is, sorry. Her excuse? She just came back from a work trip, doesn’t watch the news (!!!) and wasn’t fully up to date on coronavirus. Scheana, let me tell you what the cop told me when he pulled me over for going 52 in a 25: ignorance is not an excuse! Reread your manual!
And finally, we arrive at someone so out of touch, he didn’t even know that we were in the middle of a global medical crisis. That’s right, Jared Leto claims he was on a “silent meditation” with no access to his phone for the past 12 days. First of all, ew. Second of all, were you really, Jared?? Because, as someone pointed out in the comments, he still managed to post pictures of himself in Gucci T-shirts during that time. And sure, his team could have posted for him, but did a celebrity really go on a trip where there was no possible way to get in touch with him? What if they decided they wanted him to play the Joker again?!! Although, if you told me that Jared thought he could communicate with his team members by cutting off a lock of his hair, sprinkling it over a fire that he built himself, spinning around three times and singing exactly one half of the song “Kumbaya”, I would believe that. So maybe he really did go into the desert without a phone. Regardless, I hope you enjoyed possibly spreading coronavirus on your rich people trip, Jared!
On Tuesday, after millions of us were already locked inside, The Hobbit and Avengers star Evangeline Lilly was totally unbothered. She posted that she had just dropped her kids off at gymnastics camp—but don’t worry, they washed their hands first! She said that she values “freedom over life,” which sounds like something she wouldn’t be saying if she knew someone dying because of a ventilator shortage. Obviously, freedom is important, but right now we have the freedom to make good choices, and we should all be exercising it!
And those are some of the celebrities that decided they didn’t need to help us flatten the curve. I hope they all enjoyed their time coughing on each other, while the rest of us just try and remember our work laptop password. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to take a conference call from my bed. Stay safe, friends!
Images: Kathy Hutchins/Shutterstock; enews, champagnepapi, jaredleto/Instagram; Scheana/Twitter
I think the world might fully be coming to an end, because I should not be this invested in the love life of a Bachelorette contestant. Last week, we all watched as Hannah broke Tyler’s heart, and then had her heart broken by Jed, and then basically slid into Tyler’s DMs live on television. It was a cute moment when Hannah asked Tyler to get a drink with her, but I wasn’t convinced that it was actually going to go anywhere.
Well, apparently I was wrong, because it only took two days for Tyler and Hannah to start banging like a screen door in a hurricane. Maybe. All we actually know is that Tyler was seen leaving Hannah’s apartment early Friday morning, so I’m letting my mind fill in the blanks. If the photos were to be believed, were Hannah and Tyler really back together? Did she wind up with her fairytale Bachelorette experience after all?
Well.. not so fast.
No sooner had we gotten over the high of seeing Tyler doing a walk of shame out of Hannah’s place, than Gigi Hadid came along and threw a wrench in this whole thing. As you might recall, we all noticed a couple weeks ago when Tyler and Gigi started following each other on Instagram. We weren’t sure what it meant at the time, but there was no way it was just a coincidence. Thankfully, it didn’t take long to figure out where things were headed, because Tyler and Gigi were spotted hanging out at Dumbo House on Sunday night.
I think I might be obsessed with this? Tyler and Gigi are definitely in the same league, and are probably two of the most attractive people on the planet. I don’t know if they’re headed anywhere serious, but it makes sense that they would have a good time together. Also, Dumbo House is the perfect place for them to hang out, because you need a membership to get in and you’re not allowed to take photos there. Whoever shared this photo, I have a feeling that their membership might not get renewed for next year, but I’m glad they sacrificed to give us this information. They are doing the Lord’s work.
We’re still very light on information about what Tyler and Gigi did on Sunday night, but so far, there haven’t been any photos of him leaving her apartment. Tragic. More than anything, his recent, um, activities with Hannah and Gigi make me think he doesn’t have any desire to be the Bachelor next year. Honestly, it’s already a miracle that everyone loves him so much, so I feel like if he went on the show, he would probably just risk doing something asshole-ish and ruining his reputation. (CC: Dean Unglert.)
Also, Amanda Hirsch (@notskinnybutnotfat on Instagram) posted this DM with someone who apparently has behind the scenes knowledge about Tyler.
Obviously, all of this should be taken with a decently sized grain of salt, but it’s definitely interesting to think about. It makes sense that in the mainstream modeling world, Tyler might have more opportunities if he doesn’t go on The Bachelor. He might get more followers in the short-term, but he really doesn’t need the help with his career. He’s already the most-followed man in all of Bachelor Nation, and his season just ended a week ago.
I’m excited to see what happens next with Tyler, both in his career and his personal life. I really wouldn’t be surprised if we see more of Tyler and Gigi together, and maybe he’ll keep hanging out with Hannah a little bit, but I don’t think their relationship is really headed anywhere. Hannah had her chance, and she blew it. I don’t think Tyler hates Hannah, but he’s on his own journey now, one where he’s hot and famous and the world is his oyster. Meanwhile, I am already screaming over Mike possibly being the Bachelor, and I already forgot that Jed Wyatt exists. Sad!
Images: thebetchelor (2); notskinnybutnotfat / Instagram