We love celebrities who don’t act fake on social media, so naturally Kelly Ripa is one of our faves. When not publicly thirsting over her husband, she can be seen trolling the sh*t out of her kids, which we always appreciate. Like, sure your kids are the light of your life and whatever, but what fun is being a parent if you can’t rag on your kids a little? I started taking note of Kelly’s trolling on Father’s Day, when Lola apparently walked in on her parents having sex and probably wanted to claw her own eyes out. Now, I know you’re thinking that’s bad, but not “time to finally file the paperwork and get emancipated from these lunatics” bad, mainly because it was an accident. But not only did Lola walk in on her parents having sex, they then recounted the story to their five million closest friends on Live! the next day. MOM!! While Kelly and Mark did seem slightly embarrassed that this happened (AGAIN?!!!), I can’t help but think they went backstage during a commercial break and did their best Dr. Evil laugh.
And that’s when I realized that Kelly Ripa lives to torment her children. I mean, of course, she loves them, I’m sure she bought them each a Bentley for their 16th birthdays yada, yada, yada, but I also think she loves trolling them. I’m certain my parents had children solely to mulch the backyard, and I’m certain that Kelly Ripa had children (especially Lola) so she could lovingly make their lives a living hell, and I’m here for it. I can’t wait to do the same to my own daughter one day! I’m taking notes. Here are all the best times Kelly Ripa has trolled her children.
Like most teenage girls, Lola is particular about which photos she’ll allow her mother to post of her on Instagram. This makes complete sense because Kelly has over two million followers, half of which I’m sure are ready to call a teen girl a washed-up street dog or something equally vile. The internet is the best place!!!! Kelly respects Lola’s request and gives her photo approval, but also roasts her for it, as any good parent would. For example, when wishing Lola a happy 17th birthday, Kelly claimed she couldn’t get any photo approval so just posted a picture of Lola when she was still in the womb.
Honestly the only thing that would have been more savage would’ve been if Kelly had posted Lola’s sonogram. Maybe next year??
Kelly also engages in lots of very suggestive flirting with Mark over Instagram. Take, for example, this one:
Lola felt she couldn’t let this moment pass by and commented “is this caption necessary” which I think is a very sweet way of saying “could you two get a room, preferably with a locked door?”
Kelly and Mark also decided to engage in some light foreplay in the post below, and while it appears none of their children commented on the exchange, I’m sure they saw it on IG and also in their nightmares.
I’m just imagining Kelly and Mark sitting in the same room, giggling to themselves as they reply to their own Instagram comments. And then their children, reading this and gagging at their parents making jokes about group sex. Also RIP Luke Perry, I’ll never stop missing you and I’ll never stop rewatching season 1 of Beverly Hills, 90210 an unhealthy amount.
But even though Kelly does troll her daughter online, she is also willing to troll herself, which I appreciate even more. Most celebrities take themselves way too seriously *cough* Leonardo DiCaprio *cough* so when one of them demonstrates even the slightest bit of self-awareness I’ll give them props. I know, I’m like, really generous.
I think this is my favorite interaction between Kelly and Lola because it involves self-mockery, 90s fashion, and Hiram Lodge doing what he does best: sucking. Plus, it also shows that beneath Kelly’s deep dark desire to torment her children for her own pleasure, she also is a generous mom, and probably has an amazing closet she shares with Lola. If I had to make a deal that in order to wear all those designer clothes I had to occasionally walk in on my parents having sex, I can’t say I’d turn it down. Oh wait. Yes I would. I really, really would.
And those are some of the ways Kelly Ripa trolls on Instagram! Personally, I don’t think I’d be the perfectly well-adjusted pretty okay human that I am today if my own mother had not simultaneously trolled me and loved me, so I think Kelly is doing something right. But I will say, for God’s sake, get a lock on your door!
Images: Giphy (1); kellyripa (1), commentsbycelebs (3)/Instagram
By now you’ve probably heard about the Jussie Smollett incident that took place in Chicago a few weeks ago. Naturally, people and news outlets across the country were outraged at what seemed like a homophobic and racially motivated attack on the TV star. Unfortunately, new information has since come to light through an investigation by the Chicago police that points to the entire attack being a hoax, which sucks for so many reasons its hard to even name them all here. Because this case has been so confusing, here’s a breakdown of everything you need to know, plus a timeline of events since the alleged attack last month.
Who Is Jussie Smollett?
Jussie Smollett is a queer biracial actor and singer who is most famous for playing Jamal Lyon in Empire. (Though, if what the Chicago PD say is true is true then that probably won’t be what he’s most famous for any longer.) The Smollett family consists of a long line of both actors and activists, and have been outspoken politically on causes such as HIV/AIDS prevention, ending apartheid, and more recently, Black Lives Matter. Unrelated but still interesting: Jussie Smollett was also in The Mighty Ducks.
WTF Has Been Going On?
Great question. Here’s a timeline of the events surrounding the attack, as well as information as it unfolded.
January 22: Before the attack , Smollett received a threatening letter to the set of Empire containing white powder that said “You will die black n*****.” The powder turned out to be crushed Tylenol.
January 28th: Smollett was hospitalized after being attacked by who he recalled to be two white men yelling racist and homophobic slurs at him. In his report to the police, he said they screamed “This is MAGA country” and called him a f**got Empire n*****.”
January 30th: Two days later Chicago police release the images of two persons of interest in the attack.
February 1st: Smollett makes the following statement to Essence:
“Let me start by saying that I’m OK. My body is strong but my soul is stronger. More importantly I want to say thank you. The outpouring of love and support from my village has meant more than I will ever be able to truly put into words. ”
He also doubles down on saying he is being factual and works to dispel rumors about the incident.
February 13th: Two Nigerian brothers are arrested in connection with the attack. This raises questions because Smollett had noted earlier that his attackers were white.
February 14th: Smollett gives the following interview to Good Morning America:
“It’s not necessarily that you don’t believe that this is the truth, you don’t even want to see the truth.” @JussieSmollett tells @RobinRoberts he’s “pissed off” about the attacks on him after details came out after his attack. https://t.co/3HbyU2SFxe pic.twitter.com/a2o949itIJ
— Good Morning America (@GMA) February 14, 2019
February 18th: Starting after the GMA interview, rumors begin to circulate and sources close to the Chicago PD begin leaking that the attacks were orchestrated and Smollett lied. This caused high profile people, like Cory Booker and Kamala Harris, who previously condemned the attacks to make a statement that they were reserving judgement until more facts came out.
.@eschor asks @CoryBooker to respond to reports that the Jussie Smollett attack may have been planned by the actor.
He called the attack a “modern day lynching” when the news broke. pic.twitter.com/8Zf8y7vhrv
— Megan Pratz (@meganpratz) February 17, 2019
February 19: Deadline reports that Smollett is cut from Empire episodes.
February 20th: The Chicago Police department confirms that Smollett is officially a suspect in his own attack. He is charged with disorderly conduct for filing a false report.
Case Update: Jussie Smollett is now officially classified as a suspect in a criminal investigation by #ChicagoPolice for filing a false police report (Class 4 felony). Detectives are currently presenting evidence before a Cook County Grand Jury. pic.twitter.com/FhDcbBKsuU
— Anthony Guglielmi (@AJGuglielmi) February 20, 2019
February 21st: Smollett turned himself over to Chicago police and was arrested in the early hours of the morning. In a news conference, Chicago police Superintendent Eddie Johnson says police believe Smollett faked bot h the letter and the attack because he was “dissatisfied with this salary.”
Update: According to Chicago police officials, Jussie Smollett wrote a fake letter and paid for the staged attack because he was “dissatisfied with his salary.” https://t.co/MyPbjMeUKh
— Twitter Moments (@TwitterMoments) February 21, 2019
Wow. This whole story is obviously a huge, tumultuous rollercoaster and people are understandably hurt and confused. But let’s make one thing clear: no one should feel bad for having initially believed these reports, even if they end up being false. We’re human and when we hear of someone being violently attacked, we believe that person because the vast majority of crimes are not falsely reported.
If you or someone you know is the victim of a hate crime, you can find resources to help you here.
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