Turtlenecks are probably the best parts of cold weather, apart from the fact that it’s now socially acceptable to never leave your apartment because it’s way too cold. To be clear, I don’t like the cold, but I do like any excuse to be the lazy piece of sh*t I am inside. But anyway, back to turtlenecks. I’m so glad these came back in style from the 90s when my mom would force me to wear them to school (and I would hate it because I felt like I was being choked all day). Thankfully, I have changed. Not only are turtlenecks cute to wear, but these shirts can do it all. They can help cover up a nasty pimple on your chin or a hickey (are people still giving each other hickies past the age of 16?), and they keep you warm without requiring a scarf.
The only downside to wearing a turtleneck is that sometimes it can make you look like Steve Jobs (shouts out to that episode of Vanderpump Rules where Stassi goes to the Hamptons). To steer you away from that mishap, here are a few great turtlenecks I found that are both cheap and stylish… that won’t make you look like an Apple exec. On second thought, maybe I do want to look like an Apple exec so people at work will take me seriously? Whatever, you know what I mean. These three turtlenecks are inexpensive, cute, and they’re perfect for the winter time.
As you all know, going to work is the actual worst. Like, I have to wake up hours before my body naturally wants me to, all so I can go to a job just so I don’t die of starvation. Life is hard. It’s not just getting out of bed that ruins my day, but the fact that I have to put myself together enough to look like a functioning human. I wish we could all just give up the pretenses and allow sweatpants in the office. Personally, I think it would make everyone happier, and happy employees just don’t shoot their husbands do crappy work, right? Right. Like, I’m not even washing my hair on most days (thank you, dry shampoo) and I don’t think there’s been a Monday (or Tuesday, or Wednesday) that I haven’t showed up super hungover. Obviously, I reserve all my effort for looking good when I actually have the chance to see people I care about—Linda from HR, you do not count. So, here are some office looks for less that’ll make you look like you actually tried for once. Employee of the month over here.
Some of these office looks for less are inspired by my favorite era, and some are just inspired by the stuff I happen to have in my closet at the time. In any case, none of these outfits will cost your entire paycheck, so you can thank me for that. And, obviously, you’ll still look super cute in case you need to impress the cute guy in sales or whoever. And for more advice on what (not) to wear to work, buy our third book, When’s Happy Hour?
Want to pretend like you’re the type of woman who works out before heading to her job in finance instead of the type of woman who binge-watches Netflix and stalks her ex’s Instagram activity all day? One word: TURTLENECK.
It’s turtleneck season, betches, and the 90s staple is seriously having a moment right now. Just Google “turtleneck Gigi Hadid” and you will be immediately shook. What makes every single one of her outfits complete? A turtleneck. Every It Girl is rocking them these days. From the Hadid sisters to hilarious Insta queen Morgan Stewart, it’s an item that immediately takes your look from middle to high class, yet can only cost you around $25 and no one will ever have to know. People are so obsessed, that there’s literally an Instagram account called “turtleneckpics”. THAT’S how much people love them. (Ok, shush, so they haven’t posted since 2016, but that’s besides my point.)
And let’s be real: Everyone knows that with all the weight you packed on over the holidays, you could really use some extra coverage for that double chin and lack of clavicle (honey, not even Facetune can help you rn). Therefore, what better way to slim your neck and collarbone area than with a comfy piece of fabric? Also, it’s freaking freezing outside. Your mom will be so happy to hear you’re finally covering your neck.
So, congrats! You’re now an Insta fashion blogger who uses LIKEtoKNOW.it and are a proud member of #TeamTurtleneck. Where do you go from here? Don’t break your neck trying to search online (ok, I’ll stop). Scroll down to find 10 of the hottest turtlenecks on the market right now that will turn heads and won’t break the bank.
1. Nasty Gal Got No Chill Turtleneck Sweater
2. Hollister Bell-Sleeve Turtleneck Sweater
3. Express Funnel Neck Sweater
4. H&M Knit Wool-Blend Sweater
5. Billabong Stay Here Turtleneck Sweater
6. Goodnight Macaroon Retta Ribbed Turtleneck Sweater
7. Abercrombie & Fitch Shaker Turtleneck Sweater
8. Gap Merino Wool Turtleneck
9. Topshop Flare Cuff Turtleneck Sweater
10. Free People Swim Too Deep Pullover
If these are out of your budget, or if you just maxed out your credit card for the fourth time (new year, same you!), then the next time you go home, raid your mom’s closet. You can also hit up your local Goodwill or thrift shop. You may be shocked to see all the gorgeous cashmere or cotton turtlenecks you find from the 90s or early 2000s. I literally wore my mom’s wool turtleneck from the 90s the other night and I’ve never received so many compliments in my entire life.
