Why Rushed Engagement Is The Newest Celebrity Trend

It’s been a weird summer. Trump keeps interrupting The Bachelorette, the heat wave broke everyone’s spirits, and all our least fave baby celeb couples are getting engaged. And by “baby,” I mean that both the celebs themselves and the actual relationships are very, very young. First we had Ariana Grande (25) and Pete Davidson (24), and now we have Justin Bieber (24), and Hailey Baldwin (21). Yes, TWENTY-ONE. I too spat out my coffee upon reading that. Doesn’t that just seem awfully young to ruin your life in such a permanent way make such a long-term decision? While Justin and Hailey have had an on-off thing for years, neither couple was publicly together earlier than, say, May. All of which begs the question: why the rush? Is this a hot new celeb trend we’ll all hate for a year and then emulate forever? WTF is really going on? Here are some theories.

They’re Being Massive Trolls

This is one of my preferred theories, though probably unlikely. After decades of the media zooming in on left hands and perceived “bumps,” it’d be really fun if these couples were just trolling the shit out of all of us. If nothing else, it would explain why they keep describing the news as “lit.” I think it’s fair to say that if there’s even a small chance your wedding vows will contain that word, you’re too young to get married. So, there’s a small chance this is a wildly self-aware and meta interpretation of what the media expects of today’s just-past-teen celeb. Then again, “Justin Bieber” and “self-aware” aren’t used in the same sentence much. Which brings me to my next theory…

They Wanted To Change The Conversation

At this point, I feel we should address that in both couples there is a More Famous and Less Famous party. I bet you anything that Google searches for “who is Pete Davidson” and “who is Hailey Baldwin” have both skyrocketed this June. Not that either party is actually unknown, mind you—just less of a household name. Justin and Ariana, the slightly more famous, are both pop stars who the public has some trouble taking seriously. Ariana because she profited off a “sexy baby” aesthetic for some time, Justin for…darker reasons. I don’t need to remind you. However, the public is also consistently obsessed with their music, so they have a ton of star power. It’s possible that these engagements just came about as mutually beneficial arrangements. The Less Famous parties get a boost in name recognition, and the More Famous parties get an image boost by linking themselves to someone the public doesn’t yet openly mock.

They’re Working With An Apocalypse Mentality

You know how you feel when you open your email and we’re on the verge of war with North Korea? Or Roe v. Wade is about to be overturned? Or children are being held in cages? You know, the gut-wrenching feeling you’ve been getting every day for months on end? Well, if celebs are indeed #justlikeus, maybe they aren’t quite so immune to that, either. The general “the world could end at any moment so let’s go all-out now” feeling. If I were a twentysomething celebrity, I’d be buying million-dollar diamonds and holding my loved ones close too. Seriously though, uncertain times do breed a lot of sudden-onset heavy relationships. Think back to your senior spring: how many couples you’d expected to last a week suddenly pledged their undying loyalty to each other? When the outside world is frightening, it helps to have a constant.

They’re Really Just In Love

Yeah, this is totally possible. I’m not saying they AREN’T in love, I’m just saying that alone isn’t quite enough to explain the hastiness of these decisions. Jupiter has also been in retrograde since March, which I’m low-key convinced played a major role. But you don’t see me going around calling it the ONLY reason.

Justin Would Dump Hailey In A Second If Selena Called

Does this have anything to do with theories about too-soon engagements? Nope, it’s just one of my more firmly held beliefs and I have nowhere else to put it. When it comes to Biebs, nothing will convince me he did this for any other reason than to post an IG story of Hailey’s ring and obsessively check his phone to see if Selena watched it. Selena JUST released a song called “Back to You,” guys. Somehow, somewhere, these two will run towards each other in the rain while this song plays.

So yeah, these celebrity couples aren’t the first to get married after a short period of time. But they’re too young, too insanely quick, and too close together not to note. Who knows, maybe Ariana just opened the floodgates and we’ll be seeing a continuing wave of 24-year-olds tying this knot to people they met at the club last week. Honestly, I can think of worse things.

Images: Giphy (3)

Man Uses Twitter To Inform Trolls That International Men’s Day Does, In Fact, Exist

It wouldn’t be International Women’s Day without a plethora of Twitter eggs peeking their heads out of their mom’s basements to scream “BUT WHY ISN’T THERE AN INTERNATIONAL MEN’S DAY, HUH?” at anyone who will listen.

Well, as it turns out, there is an International Men’s Day. It’s November 19th (and also every day), and Twitter user and good male feminist Richard K Herring has taken it upon himself to alert the trolls to this fact. While women across the globe were rocking red and taking the day off work, @Herring1967 took up the daunting task of replying to every single person who asked about International Men’s Day, informing them that it does exist and that they can kindly go shave their backs now. If there are any men reading this wondering how they can get involved with IWD, spending your day roasting misogynists on Twitter (so we don’t have to) is a pretty good option.

Herring took it upon himself to personally respond to all of the haters, letting each one know exactly how many seats they can take. If only we could get something like this going for those “White History Month” people as well.

For some, he kept it short and sweet. Necessary info only:


November 19th RT @TheRealDrewBran: when’s international men’s day??

— Richard K Herring (@Herring1967) March 8, 2017

Just answering, november 19th RT @snickerstoofar: Just asking when is international men’s day?

— Richard K Herring (@Herring1967) March 8, 2017

November 19th pencilled. Good for you? RT @Gootz124: When’s international men’s day?

— Richard K Herring (@Herring1967) March 8, 2017


Other responses were slightly shadier:


Ooooooo, it’s Nooooveeeemmmmbeerr niiiiiineeeeteeeeenth RT @ihugshortpeople: Sooooo when’s International Men’s Day???

— Richard K Herring (@Herring1967) March 8, 2017

November 19th, you charmer RT @JewishRocky: So……..when is international MEN’S day?? Liberal fucking whores.

— Richard K Herring (@Herring1967) March 8, 2017

There is. Nov 19. Sexism non-existent. Phew! RT @wj_kennedy: Is there an international men’s day?! ….. If not #sexist

— Richard K Herring (@Herring1967) March 8, 2017


And some were downright savage:

Because there are no women to organise it? RT @angelicantoniox: Why isn’t international men’s day celebrated like women’s day

— Richard K Herring (@Herring1967) March 8, 2017


So congratulations @Herring1967, you have proven yourself to be the rare male feminist who is actually legit, and not just saying you’re a feminist to try and hook up with the chicks in your Gender Studies class. You win nothing, except for the respect of The Betches and the continuation of your male privilege, which is a lot more than most people get, TBH. 

Read: The Betches’ Guide To Feminism
Who The F*ck Is Milo Yiannopoulos?

In this week’s episode of Betch Slapped, The Betches talk about political correctness, trolls in Trumpmerica, and the general emotional shortcomings of guys. Three games including: would you rather have every breakup be nationally televised or every inappropriate comment you’ve ever made be nationally televised?

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