Now that it’s my favorite time of the year, it’s socially acceptable to wear the one accessory that has saved me from many unwanted social interactions and near-death hangovers: sunglasses. Even though you throw shade all year round, doing it in style makes it feel that much better. Judging and talking shit are two things we all obviously enjoy, so hiding behind some lenses just allows you to get away with doing it in public. Whether you’re brunching and trying to piece together WTF happened the night before or hiding the fact that you may be tipsy at 3pm on a Wednesday, sunglasses fool everyone into thinking you still have your shit together—even if it’s only because you’re decent enough to hide last night’s makeup.
So you can judge as you please in style and make everyone feel like a fucking peasant—here are the trendiest sunnies that say “no pictures, please”.
1. Dior Reflected 52mm Brow Bar Sunglasses
Yeah, okay, we get it. You have like, every single pair of Ray-Ban aviators. This is me asking you (well, more like telling you) to consider retiring those and instead, opt for a brow bar style. If the aviator and the brow bar were sisters, the brow bar would be considered the cooler, prettier one. This frame comes in rose gold, too, so if you just can’t resist letting your basic-ness shine through, let it out, honey.
2. Chloé Myrte 61mm Sunglasses
#TBT to the Laguna Beach and The Hills days where all LC wore were obnoxiously oversized sunglasses to hide her eye rolls every time Heidi breathed. Find a pair, preferably dark in color, that you can hide your glare behind when someone even breathes in your direction.
3. Quay Private Eyes Aviator Sunglasses
If you’re someone who likes to add a pop of color to any polished outfit, then you’ll want to find sunglasses like these for a bold statement. Blue is actually v trendy at the moment and it also happens to be like, the most soothing color to the eye or something. Bring some ~good vibes~ anywhere you go, whether it’s to the beach or Mediterranean sea. Or, fake it enough so that no one sees how bitchy you actually can be.
4. Oliver Peoples Eyewear 30th Anniversary Rockmore Sunglasses
If you want to be mistaken for Gigi Hadid or someone just as skinny famous, get yourself a pair of yellow-colored sunglasses. According to my reputable fashion consultants, yellow is the new black this summer, so get these while you can.
5. Karen Walker Disco Circus Sunglasses
I guess round sunglasses are no longer seen as retro, but are now considered modern in this day and age. Find a pair that’s blacker than your soul (if that’s possible) so no one can see how many dirty looks you’re dishing out. I give you permission to yell, “Shaarrooonn!!” if it means demanding somebody’s attention. If it worked for Ozzy Osbourne, I don’t see why it won’t work for you.
6. For Love & Lemons Cat Eye Sunnies
You are a young, hot, up-and-coming celebrity (famous for doing nothing whatsoever, aka the best kind of famous), who doesn’t need a man. At least that’s how you’ll feel and what you’ll make everyone believe with some solid cat eye sunglasses.
7. Michael Kors Square Sunglasses In Tortoise
Square frames immediately tell everyone that you are a person not to be fucked with because you can easily ruin their life. Whether that’s actually true or not, feel free to take on that persona. Maybe the more you wear them, the more you’ll believe it. Both workplace- and recreation-friendly, square sunglasses are the perfect chic touch to any look.