So, it’s now February and it has been…hot? By that I mean, it’s been above 40 degrees. But let’s not get our hopes up for spring to make moves, even though the groundhog predicted it, because unless you were born yesterday, you know this nice weather won’t last. Unfortunately, it will be f*cking freezing again soon, and it’s even supposed to snow next week. Kill me now, please. On the bright side, having this news in advance allows us to prep for the weather the best way we can: scoping out the biggest deals to grab a cheap yet warm coat, durable boots, or fuzzy sweater to bundle up in for the office. Oh, you thought I would say something about stocking up on bread and milk? No, I’m not your mom. Clothing-wise, Topshop is saving all of our asses with their knits, coats, and boots sale. These items are up to 30% off and tbh, a lot of cute things are extremely affordable. RIP my credit card. Here are a few pieces that are worth adding to your cart to gear up for our next polar vortex.
1. Stab Stitch Logo Sweatshirt By Ivy Park
Ivy Park is like, the more DGAF version of Lululemon. Queen Bey’s athleisure street style brand is perfect for the gym, daily strolls, and your fitness Instagrams. This comfy cropped sweatshirt comes in black, so it goes with everything, and can just as easily be worn with jeans as with leggings to actually work out in.
2. Furry Sweater
This pullover sweatshirt is described as being extra soft and furry, so I assume it feels like wearing your favorite blanket. I can’t think of anything more perfect, tbh. For the winter season, this sweater allows you to fully embrace the lifestyle of Netflix & hibernation with or without a blanket, in and out of the house.
3. Corduroy Zip Up Jacket
Just looking at this is keeping me warm in this cold af office. Lined with borg, which btw, is faux sheepskin and happens to be v similar to shearling, this thick, heavy-duty jacket is made to keep you warm and cozy even in the worst of weather.
4. Love Brushed Borg Sweatshirt
I’m not usually a fan of graphic prints or anything of that nature, but this minimal embroidery is kind of cute and adds a pop of color to this muted periwinkle. This is yet another ridiculously soft sweater with borg material to keep you warm and cozy in just the right amount of fluff.
5. BABE Block Heel Ankle Boot
These cute little two inch heeled booties come in festive colors and prints, including a bold fuchsia snake pattern. They’re made out of this super long word that basically means durable plastic, so while they look great for hitting up bars, they’re also good for wading through slush.
6. Black Corduroy Joni Jeans
These may be corduroy, but whether you like the look of the material or not, you’ll hardly be able to tell since they look like regular jeans. The super skinny style grazes the ankle, fits as high-waisted, and flatters your whole bottom half.
7. KOKO Unlined Flat Leather Boots
Give your everyday Chelsea boots a break with these elevated ankle booties. You can slip right into them, walk forever with the low heel, and still jazz a lame outfit up with the silver accent if you look close enough.
Photo: Aljoscha Laschgari / Unsplash; Topshop (7)
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Date night, going to work, hanging out with friends—honestly, how is someone supposed to keep up with outfits for each of these occasions and not be completely poor? With new trends constantly emerging, it’s tough to resist the urge to blow all the money in my bank account on more clothes. One trend I’m very into this summer is the leopard print. I’ve been seeing a lot of leopard print dresses, sets, and bathing suits everywhere. The comeback of the leopard print trend has me so thrilled—maybe because it releases my inner New Jersey housewife who’s just looking for a table to flip at a dinner party. IDK.
Last month, supermodel Bella Hadid celebrated her sister Gigi’s 23rd birthday. Bella wore a sheer leopard print dress that I fell in love with, so you know what I did: found a cheaper version. Then, I created three different looks with the same dress to show you how to style it in different ways for different occasions. The best part: this Topshop dress is only $50.
Date Night
My first look is a date night look: simple with heels and a clutch. To be clear, I wouldn’t be rushing into a first date in this outfit (that may scare him away), but this is a great fifth dinner date outfit. Although, I’ve never made it to a fifth date, so let me know how that goes.
Daytime
This is a Saturday daytime look with the girls. Three Olives Rosé? I think that’s a definite yes. I threw on my Shop Betches Spaghetti tee underneath the dress and threw on some sneakers and a pair of gold hoops. I prefer to drink in sneakers because, well obviously, safety first.
Day To Night
This is a day-to-night look. Sometimes you have after-work drinks that may lead to a late dinner—or just more drinks, really. Putting on a white button-down can class up any look, even if it is under a Snooki-inspired slip dress. And to match my button-down, I put on white boots, because I’m still in love with this shoe trend. Sue me.
Images: Bella Hadid / Instagram (2); Maya Media (3)
The puffer jacket trend is literally the greatest thing of all time. You basically just get to wrap yourself in a sleeping bag and then go out in public as if that’s socially acceptable. The only downfall is that these coats will make you look fucking massive, especially when paired with chunky sweaters and blanket scarves. Here are a few that won’t make you look like a human marshmallow.
1. Urban Outfitters Silence + Noise Classic Puffer Jacket
This puffer is hip-length, which is usually problematic in terms of avoiding looking like the Michelin Man. However, the hem is both notched and adjustable, so it’s like, way more flattering.
2. Madewell Quilted Down Puffer Parka
The wide puff panels (is that a thing?) and interior waist cincher on this Madewell parka will allow you to pull off the puffer trend without looking enormous. Now you’ll have to blame other things, like your Chipotle obsession.
3. Lululemon Brave The Cold Jacket
Okay, so the puffer jacket trend is supposed to be giant puffy coats, but if you’re really not down for that, this one is close enough. The puffs are way smaller because they’re stuffed with lightweight goose down.
4. Topshop Long Puffer Jacket
Most puffer jackets have panels with horizontal stitching, which can be super unflattering if you are anyone besides Kendall Jenner. Luckily, this one also has a few slimming puff panels (I’m just leaning in) to help the cause.
5. Barbour International Rockingham Quilted Jacket
The slanted pockets and asymmetrical zipper are basically optical illusions. You’ll look more like a bitchy teen snow bunny in an ABC Family movie (I know it’s called Freeform now, hop off) than a Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade float.
Talking shit about people’s fashion choices is a bold move that is typically only politically correct during awards seasons and Bachelor rose ceremonies. But since the term “politically correct” has literally lost all meaning and we’re still petty betches who will call out an ugly effing skirt when we see one, it is mandatory that we discuss the latest piece of batshit ridiculous couture released by Topshop.
According to Topshop’s website, their latest “trending product” is this pair of jeans with a red strip down the seam declaring FAKE NEWS in all caps. The pants cost a whopping $90, which is a crime against humanity and more than I currently have in my bank account (help me, I’m poor).
Are we for real, Topshop? I’d say you’re better than this – you do make a killer bodysuit – but you also allegedly refused to let a trans person use your fitting rooms and you actively sell shit like this, so consider my faith in you officially gone, girl.
These jeans are a fashion statement that scream: “I share those Russian sponsored anti-Hillary Facebook memes and loudly argue about how I’m right for not vaccinating my future child.” They’re a straight leg cut with a frayed hem, because even when you’re openly admitting you get all of your information from Fox News and a lunatic who won’t read important memos if they don’t mention his name, it’s still important to stay ~trendy~.
I have no idea what sane human woman would voluntarily put these jeans on their body, yet according to the Topshop website they are “selling fast.” I can only hope an army of topless witchy feminists are planning on buying out the entire stock and starting a ritual bonfire in the Chappaqua woods to summon the spirit of the Almighty Pantsuit.
Or maybe the White House seamstresses are working overtime to deconstruct multiple pairs and stitch them together into a 3XL with an elastic waistband to fit the hips of America’s mushiest-bodied leader for his upcoming “Fake News Awards.” Can we revive Fashion Police just for that day? A hologram of the late queen Joan Rivers roasting the shit out of her former boss is all I ask to start this year off right. Okay, I am officially in on this theory.
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Apparently low-rise jeans are making a comeback, which is the least surprising news ever if you really think about it. Every couple of years, the jean style you swore you’d never wear again sneaks back into your closet, kind of like when you hang out with your ex but you’re definitely not together again. We all promised to ditch low-rise jeans and their horrible short zippers when we discovered the slimming capabilities of super high rise denim, but obviously that trend wasn’t going to last forever. I’m not saying you should get rid of your high-waisted jeans, and I’m definitely not saying you should pull out your old boot cut True Religions with bedazzled butt pockets. I’m just trying to prepare you for a painless transition from one denim trend to the next. Here are a few pairs of low-rise jeans that won’t make you look like a Laguna Beach walk-on that never got a more detailed on-screen name credit than “Brody’s friend.”
1. The Legging Step Hem Ankle Skinny Jeans, AG Jeans
These AG jeans are basically as close to a denim legging as you can get without wearing literal Pajama Jeans. These may be low-rise, but they also have a step hem and a distressed wash, so they’re way more 2017 than 2007.
2. MOTO Winter Bleach Lucas Jeans, Topshop
These are kind of like mom jeans, but they’re low-rise, which helps prevent serious mom butt. They also have a slouchy fit but don’t have holes, so you can pull off a relaxed look without every old dude you see in a day asking how much you paid for jeans with holes in them.
3. Boyfriend Low Ripped Jeans, H&M
On the off chance that you do want every old dude you see in a day to ask how much you paid for jeans with holes in them, this is a pretty good pair. Plus, they’re just from H&M, so if you accidentally rip through the knee hole with your foot, it’s not the total end of the world.
4. Harper Low-Rise Super Skinny Jeans, Abercrombie & Fitch
Before you stop reading and close this article out because I just suggested you buy jeans from Abercrombie, hear me out. Do you still drink the cheap vodka you blacked out off of in college? Yes, of course you do. You just don’t take photos of the bottle anymore. This is kind of the same scenario. A&F finally stopped putting their signature pocket stitching on most of their jeans, so you can still wear their super comfortable, actually affordable denim without rocking an infamous Abercrombie butt.
5. Low-Rise Skinny Fit Jean, Tommy Hilfiger
As long as you don’t wear these with like, a pink polo with a popped collar and oversized fake pearls, you should be fine. Gigi Hadid is desperately trying to make Tommy Hilfiger a thing again, so you might as well join in on that movement.
