10 U.S. Presidents That Were Actually Low-Key Fuckboys

If the 2016 election taught us anything it’s that America has no problemo electing a fuckboy. Unfortunately, this wasn’t the first time an entitled douchebag was sworn into the Oval Office. In fact, fuckboys have been elected as POTUS since the start. It’s almost like there’s a common denominator. *ehem, old white men* Here’s a ranked list of the top ten fuckboys to ever have lead the free world. Spoiler alert: they’re all racist AF.

Woodrow Wilson

This may come as a shock because your high school history teacher probs forgot to mention that along with leading the US during WWI, Wilson also did a lot of racist BS. He fired a bunch of black workers and replaced them with white people and was v chill with the KKK (he called them ‘The Great Ku Klux Klan’). Not cool, bro.

Calvin Coolidge

Cal Cool is another guy who was probs depicted as a “good dude” in your history books, but he was — you guessed it — racist.  He signed the immigration Act of 1924 which restricted immigration from Africa and southern and eastern Europe, and banned the immigration of Arabs and Asians. It was basically the OG Muslim Ban, but like, worse.

Bill Clinton

Sorry, Bill, but you are the defition of a fuckboy. I mean this a man who cheated, lied, and then continued to charm America for years after. Plus, he fucked with the woman, the myth, the legend, Hillary Rodman Clinton. SMH.

Lyndon B. Johnson

Sorry to tell you, but your boi LBJ was another lying, cheating, asshole. Johnson used an incident in which American ships were allegedly attacked by Vietnamese patrol boats as a way to get congress in favor of the Vietnam War. However, historians have found that this alleged attack probs never happened. And LBJ totes knew it was a lie. That’s why his forehead is so big, it’s full of secrets.

George W. Bush

George Dubya has been getting some good press as of late, mostly because his stupidity pales in comparison to Trump. I mean, my ex would look like a GD hero compared to Trump. But lest we forget George W’s fuckboy rep he earned for being a low-key war criminal and starting a war in Iraq based on false pretenses. Which led to major Islamophobia in America. Also his presidency started a recession. Don’t let his cute little paintings fool you, he’s got you on read and still isn’t texting you back.

Andrew Johnson

Tbh I had never even heard of this guy until I started doing research for this article, but turns out he can be added to the list of fuckboys. He wrote in 1866, “This is a country for white men, and by God, as long as I am President, it shall be a government for white men.” Honestly, presidents being racist and having massive hard ons for white supremacy is super derivative. Like, get your own brand.

Andrew Jackson

Ugh, this fucking guy. You may remember him from your twenty dollar bills, or as the douchelord who casually ordered his troops to kill thousands of Native Americans. I mean, he literally caused a mass genocide just because he felt like it. WTF is up with Andrew J’s being raging assholes?

Ronald Reagan

Not only was Ronnie Reag the ultimate buzzkill, he was also supes homophobic. Reagan started the War on Drugs, which, for the record, continues to be ineffective and perpetuates institutionalized racism. As if being Lord of the Narcs wasn’t enough, he also straight up ignored the AIDs crisis, and outwardly opposed the gay rights movement. Boo!

Richard Nixon

And the runner up is…Lil’ Dick Nix. He’s most famous for the colossal fuck up that was Watergate. But he also lied about the Vietnam War, which was apparently a trend amongst presidents. He ran his campaign as an opponent of the Vietnam War, but he needed the war to continue in order for his strategy to work. So, he stalled peace talks in Vietnam, all so he could win the election. Wow, that is some shady BS.

Donald Trump

And the winner is… the Fuck-Boy-In-Chief himself. Honestly, it wasn’t even close. This asshole causes drama on Twitter, is petty AF, and has been accused of sexually harassing/assaulting multiple women. Congrats Donnie, you’re the best at being the literal worst.

Honorary Non Fuck Boy: Obama

To cleanse your palate, we’d like to present you with the ultimate anti-fuckboy, Barack Obama. He respects women, is casually BFFs with Beyoncé and Jay-Z, and he’s fine as hell. Oh, Barry. Sigh. Miss you, love you, mean it.

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The Top 10 Ugly-Hot Celebrities Who Will Make You Question Everything

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One of the many things men are afforded in this world that women can never attain, apart from being allowed to be CEOs and autonomy over their own bodies and like, general respect, is ugly-hot status. When a girl is not hot, she is either expected to shell out Kardashian-level amounts of money on a makeup/plastic surgery/fitness regimen to fix that shit, or go live on that island made of trash in the Pacific ocean, where I assume they send all uggos over the age of 30. When a man is not hot, he has the opportunity to attain ugly-hot status, in which women collectively decide to be attracted to him for his unattractiveness. It makes no sense, yet here we are. Many male celebs have risen to superstardom on the back of ugly-hotness *Cough*Adam Driver*Cough*, and we straight gals find ourselves inexplicably in love with them. Maybe even more in love with them than we are with regular hot celebrities, probably because they seem more attainable. Like sure, Ed Sheeran performed at the Grammys, but he’s also a ginger and kind of doughy so maybe he’d date me? Probs not, but still. In honor of ugly-hot bros everywhere (and our feminist rage jealousy over the fact that ugly-hot girls is not a thing), here are the top 10 ugly-hot bro celebrities. Slide into their DMs if you dare.

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