By now you’re probably well aware that you can get just about anything on Amazon. Wine, face masks, food—you name it, Amazon delivers it to your doorstep. To add to your addiction, we’ve scoured the ecomm giant for the best Amazon makeup products. The only thing better than getting a vibrator delivered to your door without facing a cashier is the ability to get a same-day mascara delivery when you don’t have time to stop at Sephora. Some are best sellers and some are just the fucking best, but regardless your face will thank both you and our guy Jeff Bezos.
1. NYX Professional Makeup Concealer Wand
Whether your eye bags are giving away the fact that you’re hungover AF or you have serious period pimples popping up all over your face, NYX’s Professional Makeup Concealer’s creamy consistency will cover all of that. It’s no wonder it’s an Amazon makeup best seller—betches can’t get enough of covering up their poor life choices and unfortunate hormonal acne.
2. Neutrogena Cleansing Makeup Remover Facial Wipes
The only thing worse than taking off waterproof mascara is trying to take off waterproof mascara with wipes that don’t actually remove waterproof mascara. Thankfully for your lashes, wallet, and sanity, you can get Neutrogena’s excellent wipes delivered to your front door. They work like a charm.
3. Too Faced Better Than Sex Mascara Duo
Too Faced’s Better Than Sex Mascara is definitely better than the shitty sex you had with your ex-fuckboy. But you know what’s better than the mascara AND subpar fuckboy sex combined? TWO Better Than Sex mascaras: the OG and the waterproof version. You can get the full size regular mascara and travel size version of the waterproof mascara right now on Amazon, and on sale no less. Using the waterproof to seal in the regular mascara will leave you questioning why you ever settled for lame mascara and lame sex.
4. L’Oréal Paris Cosmetics True Match Lumi Glow Amour Boosting Drops
Blending L’Oréal’s Lumi Glow Amour Boosting Drops on your cheek bones is like dropping pixie dust into your foundation. It makes your cheeks shimmer, and the liquid drops blend a better than most powder highlighters.
5. Lime Crime Velvetines Liquid Matte Lipstick
Everyone needs a super-pigmented liquid matte lipstick that will last all night—no matter what activities you choose to partake in. That’s why you need to get Lime Crime’s Velvetines Liquid Matte Lipstick delivered to your doorstep ASAP. The best part is that Lime Crime’s velvety texture won’t cause the lipstick to peel or dry out your lips (*glares at Kylie*).
6. Anastasia Beverly Hills Sun Dipped Glow Kit
The fairy godmother of highlighters, Anastasia Beverly Hills’ Sun Dipped Glow Kit is the answer to all of your highlighter needs. It’ll have you looking like a bronzed goddess even in the middle of this fucking godawful winter.
7. Too Faced Born This Way Foundation
Another Too Faced product made the list solely because, well, this foundation is the absolute tits. The amount of coverage this foundation gives without looking cakey is unparalleled. The best part? Its texture is still lightweight enough (and oil-free) so that it’s suitable for those with acne-prone skin. Blessings.
Images: Jazmin Quaynor/Unsplash (1); Amazon (7)
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Stressing over New Year’s Eve makeup is seriously underrated. Everyone preps for the big night by blowing money on a sequin-covered dress (that they’ll only wear maybe twice a year) and a fresh blowout. However, does anyone actually take into account how important your makeup is? If you plan on going big, it only makes sense that your face says the same thing. I mean, it is after all, the very first night of the new year, aka a big fucking deal. This means you’ll need to look ~on point~ for everyone you’ll be spending it with and the army of skanks that follow you on Insta. If you haven’t even begun thinking about WTF you’re doing for NYE, not to mention which eye shadow you’ll be using, NBD. I’ve found five makeup ideas that are the perfect inspo you need to get started.
1. Smokey Eye
This is one we’re all too familiar with, but can hardly pull off without looking like we have two black eyes. Whether you want to go dark with blacks and grays, match the scheme of your outfit, or do something in between and neutral, make your life easier by using a colored sculpt pen like Burberry’s Eye Colour Contour Smoke & Sculpt Pen to blend the shades together seamlessly.
2. Glitter Fest
NYE is always about all that glitters. Even if you hate wearing dresses that are extra af, you can obvs still low-key incorporate a full-out glitter fest with your makeup. After using whatever color you wish as the base, add glitter eyeshadow right on top (try Urban Decay’s Moondust Eyeshadow in any of the bajillion colors offered). You’ll have everyone’s eyes on you the whole night, regardless of what you wear. Jeans and a crop top? Still staring at you.
3. Bold-Colored Eyeliner
Maybe you just really love makeup, or I guess you just like the attention. If you’re looking for something bold, finish and wing your go-to liner with a bright af color. Urban Decay Razor Sharp Water-Resistant Longwear Liquid Eyeliner comes in a ton of bold colors and goes on seamlessly. Use a complementary shade like red, blue, or violet so it doesn’t look like a Halloween costume.
4. Red Lip
When in doubt, just do a red lip. It’s the most basic, yet classic look for a reason. I get it, no one has time to make a masterpiece out of a million eye shadow colors. Apply a neutral shade on the eyes and finish with everyone’s fave red, Rouge Dior.
My personal favorite, this is a look that will get a ton of compliments after only putting in the minimal effort. It’s not so much an “I just woke up like this” look because this is like, New Year’s fucking Eve, but it’s so simple, you can’t fuck it up. All you really need is a decent contour, a true nude palette (preferably one with a hint of shimmer) like the Too Faced Natural Love Palette, and the most basic af rose gold lip shade.
Image: Andreas Fidler / Unsplash
I woke up thinking today was an ordinary Monday where I’d wake up a few minutes too late,
hate everyone around me go to work, and start immediately thinking about when I’d consume alcohol next. You know, a typical Monday. When suddenly during my morning commute, the sun broke through the clouds, rays gleaming on me, and I heard the voice of angels as I found what would actually make this the best Monday ever—no, not a fucking solar eclipse, a major sale. But not just any sale, a Too Faced “Just Because” Sale. Aren’t they just life-saving gems?! However, today is the last day, so basically maxing out your credit card treating yourself to more makeup is meant to be. The makeup brand has some of our faves for up to 65 percent off so like, honestly, the most expensive thing is a $25 palette. Aren’t you sooo glad I told you this? I knew it’d be the best start of a week ever. To get your cart started, here’s what you should buy like, right now.
1. Peanut Butter And Honey Eye Shadow Collection
Two things I love more than anything else in life: makeup and food. So when you combine the two for a limited edition palette that’s 50 percent off, you have my heart. This palette consists of nine drool-worthy creamy shades of matte and shimmery warm neutral shadows. To make it even better, it’s infused with scents of cocoa, peanut butter, and honey so you can def work up an appetite for your lunch break. Mix and match the shades for a look that’s ready for this upcoming fall.
2. La Crème Lip Balm Tinted Lip Butter
These creamy butter balms are made with black currant seed oil and white lotus flower extract that condition and hydrate your lips to leave them looking ultra plump, without going full Kylie. The sweet-smelling balms come in clear and an array of subtle irresistible pinks.
3. Love Palette Eye Shadow Collection
This palette features 15 silky lightweight eye shadow shades in matte, pearl, and shimmer finishes. Their blendability is insanely good so you’ll no have problem experimenting with greens, yellows, and pinks for a look that’s out of your comfort zone of nudes. Don’t worry though, there are clearly enough neutral and dark options for a smokey eye to wear to the club. Plus, the palette comes with a full-size black eye liner so you can create a look that says “don’t fuck with me or I’ll fucking cut you.” Too much?
4. 24 Hour Long Lasting Bulletproof Eyeliner
Get you an eyeliner that can do both: wing and excel the mastery of a smokey eye without looking like you punched yourself in the face. This is the kind of stuff the world needs more of. Choose a color or obvs just get them all. Within seconds of application, the liner will stay water-, smudge-, and crease-proof for literally 24 hours. That means it will stay put in a sweaty bar and it will even last through a good drunk cry with your girls in the bathroom.
5. LashGASM Mascara
If there was a runner up to Better Than Sex, it would def be
pizza this mascara. The one-of-a-kind bristles lengthen each and every lash for ultimate definition with zero clumps. The creamy formula allows you to glide it on with ease for allllll those coats you layer on. This is like, the falsies look you’ve always wanted but without the fake eyelashes it looks like you glued on for a Halloween costume.
Don’t you just hate when you wake up on a Friday morning after
ten three vodka sodas the night before, looking like the crypt keeper and having 20 minutes to get your shit together and get to work? This is my daily struggle. Tbh there are very few things in this world that I appreciate more than products that are designed to help me drink/make me look good while I’m drinking/cover up the fact that I have been drinking. But Too Faced is about to have a seat at The Plastics’ table because they’re set to release a beauty product that helps hide your hangovers. Not all heroes wear capes, people. The Hangover 3-in-1 Primer and Setting Spray (Jesus, that’s a mouth full) will be included in Too Faced’s fall beauty collection launching this June.
The fall collection will also feature, what else, more new additions to the Unicorn Tears franchise because apparently that trend will never die.
The goal of the Hangover spray is to revive your skin, leaving you fresh-faced and glowing. The ultra-fine mist is infused with hydrating coconut water and probiotics to keep your skin moisturized throughout all the shit you put it through. At its core the product is a priming mist that you can use before applying makeup, to set your finished look, or to just spritz it on if you want your face to spell like a piña colada. Because bonus: it smells like my spring break trip to Cabo minus the body shots and tequila.
I’m torn because on the one hand, Too Faced is supporting the unicorn trend enough so that they’re trying to make this still a thing come fall, which on principle I cannot stand by. But on the other hand, they’re actually saving lives with this hangover primer and setting spray. Who am I kidding, come June I’ll be in line with the rest of the basics because I’d rather buy a beauty product than, say, fix my
drinking social habits.